


A Mildy Depressed Teen

by Ashratherose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Jean..., Alpha Levi, Angst, Anxiety, Bathroom Sex, Captivity, Depression, Heats, Hurt and comfort, Knotting, Love Hurts, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Eren, Omega Marco, Past Abuse, Rape, Self Harm, Sex, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigger Warnings, Violence, erenxlevi sex, idk - Freeform, jeanxeren sex, purely self indulgent, self hate, yep this is totes a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-17 05:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 81,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Eren's a mildly depressed teen just starting college.Levi is his lecturer.Thanks to the past, Eren can't accept happiness. No, he hates himself too much for that, but Levi keeps sticking his nose in and Eren doesn't understand what the man really wants.Eren's POV





	1. Chapter 1

Eren yawned as he readjusted the hold on his bag, already running late on his first day of college had left him on edge, but running late after getting off of work only an hour before hand... he was a walking mess. He yawned again, this time stumbling slightly and winced as coffee spilt from the lid of the disposable cup. Today was already fucking awful.

As expected he was the last to arrive, he'd barely placed his bag down before the lecturer walked into the hall and Eren knew he was screwed. The man's cold grey eyes narrowed in on him and Eren couldn't blame him. Given the distance between campus and the nightclub he worked at, he was still dressed for work. His gaze dropped back down to his laptop and he began to chew on the metal of the fake lip ring. The Underground was the kind of place you couldn't get away without having a piercing of four. Though both ears were adorned with hoops, as were his lip and nose, all were fake and he cursed himself for not at least having stripped them form his face. 

Reaching for his cup of coffee, he scolded his shaking hand. It'd be fine, he'd be just fine.

"My name is Levi Ackerman..."

Eren looked back up towards the shorter man, he had maybe a few inches on his teacher, but he was certain the man was an alpha. Everything about him screamed it and he looked back down quickly, his heart was pounding like he was some stupid teenage girl. If the man could read his mind, he'd probably laugh. At 19 Eren still hadn't presented. They'd said it was due to emotional trauma and one day he would, but as time went on and he didn't, he was left feeling a freak. 

Lost in his thoughts of self deprecation, he heard the sound of fingers clicking and his head snapped up as he realised his lecture was standing right in front of him. The man's cold glare sent shivers down his spine and he found his chest tightening in fear, still he squeaked out a small  
"Yes?"  
Behind him he heard the some of the class laughing and his face burnt  
"Nice to have you with us. How about staying with us?"  
The man moved away and Eren shifted in his chair, feeling even more of freak as he noted the earth scent the alpha had left behind. 

Over the course of the next 90 minutes, Eren found it almost impossible to concentrate. His eyes burnt from the lack of sleep, his nose was filled with the scent of cheap booze and cigarettes and a fine layer of sweat had decided to form across his brow. Jean owed him for this. Eren's shift was supposed to have finished at 2, but thanks to his arsehole of a coworker, he hadn't been able to escape works clutches until nearly 7 and he couldn't help feeling like everything he worked for was crashing down. He reached for his coffee cup, knocking the container over and that was the final straw. For the remainder of the class silent tears rolled down his face. When the bell finally rang, Eren rushed to gather his things. He didn't need everyone staring at him, especially not that grey eyed alpha that he knew had seen him crying.

*  
Home wasn't much, but at least it was a roof over his head. Eren dropped his bag next to the front door and made his way straight through to the bathroom. Flicking the light on, he moved to the counter and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was pale, but his cheeks were tinged ever so slightly red. He shook his head quickly in disgust, before beginning to slide off the fake piercings and dropping them into a small pile. It did nothing to improve his image, his eyes were red enough that anyone was he excused for thinking he was stoned out of his head and he almost wished he was.

Moving from the mirror, he began to tug off his tight black outfit. He'd been working at the Underground for he last month and told himself everyday that he was going to quit, but never quite found the courage to follow through. It wasn't that he hated work, all he did was clear the tables and put the glasses in the dishwasher, but dealing with drunk alphas and horny omegas was something he didn't want to do for the rest of his life. He sighed as he kicked his clothes into the corner, before turning the shower taps on, this wasn't how things were supposed to be.

Stepping under the hot water, he allowed himself a few minutes to relax. Slowly, but surely, the stench of the previous night began to disappear and he squeezed a large dollop of bodywash into his hand. He cleaned himself the best he could, the hot water only adding to his fatigue and he yawned as he rinsed. Tonight Jean could suck his dick if he wanted him to take his shift. He so wasn't about to attend class in the same condition he had today.


	2. Chapter 2

When his alarm sounded at 6 Eren grabbed his phone and threw it. His eyes felt like they were filled with sand and his whole body just felt hot and gross, still, he forced himself up and groaned as he moved to the edge of the bed. He'd had roughly 7 hours sleep, so why the fuck was he feeling so shit?

Dressing for work he left the lip ring off, it felt weird without it, but it was better than being constantly annoyed by it all night. He dressed in yet another skin tight black outfit and moved to do his make up, he kept it simple with eyeliner and mascara which according to Jean, made his already too wide eyes even more noticeable. He gave himself a small nod and washed his hands, before rounding up his phone and keys and leaving for the night.

*  
The bright lights seemed to grow brighter as the night wore on, his head throbbed in time with the base and his body was growing hotter and hotter, he felt like he was burning through his skin. Picking up a stack of empty glasses he glared at the soaked cigarettes in the bottom. There was an ashtray right there and yet... fucking disgusting. He placed the pile into the black tub at his hip and turned around, promptly getting doused with some pink fruity cocktail  
"Shit! I am so sorry!"  
The woman didn't look sorry in the slightest and Eren shoved past her wondering why the universe seemed to hate him in particular.

He dumped the tub by the sink and rinsed the glasses, stacking the dishwasher tray as he went. Given his shirt was soaked, he opted to take his break early and ducked into the staff bathroom. Locking the door, he stripped his shirt off and carried it to the sink. The idea of wearing a wet shirt for the rest of the night was completely unappealing, but he could hardly work without one. He washed it quickly and wrung it out the best he could. He tried to flick the creases out but noticed no real change, so tugged it back on, moaning ever so slightly as the cold fabric clung to his burning skin. He rinsed his hands and took a breath. 3 more hours. What else could possibly go wrong?

Walking out the bathroom, he headed back through and grabbed the same black tub, before heading back out to the main floor. Weaving his way through the customers he wrinkled his nose at the stench of the alphas in the room, it was worse than normal and left him gagging as he finally escaped the crowd to the tables closest to the door. He began stacking empty glasses again only to be bumped into yet again  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
Eren didn't even realise what was had happened, one minute he was just working a way, minding his own business, the next he was on his arse with an angry alpha glaring down at him  
"I said, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
The man was more than a little drunk and waves of anger rolled off of him. Eren shook his head as he went to push himself up. His hand slipped and let out a small whimper, he raised his hand and his eyes went wide. He'd well and truly fucked up. Blood was running through his fingers and down his wrist, the smell brought back the memories he'd desperately wanted to forget   
"Holy shit man! He'd fucking bleeding! Let's get out of here"  
Eren didn't know who the second voice belonged to, and he scrambled to his feet, shoving through the crowd and out the front door  
"Oi Eren! What's up?"  
Reiner's voice rang out behind him, but he didn't stop, he didn't want the blonde security guard to see him like this. He didn't want anyone at work to see him like this. 

He didn't stop running until he stumbled and fell, letting out a cry as he did. Pain flared through his messed up hand and he tried to pull himself up. His body wouldn't listen and he let out a sob of frustration. Looking up he realised he had no idea where he was. He tried to wipe at his face, but wound up smearing blood across his face and let out another small sob. Why did things always have to go so fucking wrong?

Behind him heard footsteps approaching and tried once again to push himself up  
"Hey? Are you alright?"  
Great, now total strangers were taking pity on him. A heavy hand came down on his shoulder and he flinched away   
"Shit kid, that looks bad. Do you need some help?"  
The strangers voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it. He shook his head, but the man didn't leave  
"It's only going to get worse if you leave it like that"  
Taking his arm, the man pulled him up and Eren sniffled softly  
"I'm fine... thank you"  
His voice was low and his words mumbled, but the hand finally let him go and Eren felt the loss immediately  
"If your sure..."  
The teen nodded quickly   
"Sorry for bothering you..."  
He hung his head as the man began to walk away, he didn't understand what he was feeling. Pain, anger, confusion, regret and embarrassment all rolled into one, and yet those words didn't even cover it completely. With his free hand he pulled out his phone. The device was wet and he let out another sob. Everything was fucked.

*  
The sun was just beginning to rise as he finally let himself into his apartment, his bloodied hand against his chest. Throwing his mobile and keys on the sofa, he moved through to the bathroom and turned the shower on full. He stripped using his one good hand, while holding his busted one under the flowing water. Biting down hard on his lip, he couldn't stand to watch the blood flow down the drain and he knew he couldn't dress the wound himself. Times like these he wished he had more friends, or at least friends that lived close by... as it was he had two neighbours he'd never met or scene and the closest thing he call a friend was Jean... and he didn't even like the alpha that much. He moved into the shower and washed himself with his good hand, he was supposed to go to class today, but how the fuck was he supposed to take any notes with his good hand out of commission.

A knock came on his door and jumped, rushing to turn the shower off and wrap a towel around his waist. He stumbled through to his room and pulled his clothes on over his wet body. It felt fucking gross and his hand had started bleeding all over again. He took a few deep breaths as he walked over and opened the door, his eyes landing Jean  
"Hey man! What the fuck happened? They said you'd taken off?"  
Eren let out a sigh and opened the door  
"Holy shit!"  
Jean grabbed his busted hand and Eren whimpered, the man immediately let go  
"That's fucking nasty"  
"I know, don't suppose you wanna help me with it?"  
Jean crossed the small space and threw himself down on the sofa while Eren closed the door  
"Not really, but I owe you for yesterday. Grab the first aid kit and we'll see what we can do"  
Eren rolled his eyes, yes, let's just make the kid with the busted hand do all the work. Still, he retreated back into the bathroom and fished the first aid kit out from the back of the vanity. It wasn't the worlds best first aid kit, but it'd do. He carried it through to the living room and dropped it down on Jean's lap, before sitting next to the man and crossing his legs. Jean winced as he opened the first aid kit  
"Man, this is going to hurt. Got any alcohol?"  
"It's a bit early for that"  
"Not when you haven't been to sleep yet"  
Eren rolled his eyes   
"Sorry to disappoint, but nope"  
Jean shook his head  
"Sometimes I worry about you Yeager. Now hold still"

Jean was less than gentle as he began to pick the shards from Eren's hand. The smell of blood had his stomach rolling, and he struggled to remain still. He couldn't let Jean see he wasn't normal. He closed his eyes and willed the tears back. He wasn't 10. Jean wasn't going to hurt him. He felt his frienemy dab at his palm, and then a thick dressing was pushed into his palm, before being tightly bandaged  
"It's a shit job, but I think I got the glass out. I'll cover for you at work, but fuck, next time something happens you've got to let them know. They were about ready to fire you"  
Eren nodded, forcing himself to find his words  
"Thanks"  
"Don't mention it. I did come over to give you shit after all"  
Eren snorted  
"Sorry to disappoint. Hey, do you know what the time is? My phone got doused"  
Opening his eyes, he found Jean frowning down at his phone  
"It's a quarter to 8"  
"Fuck. Jean, you can stay if you want, but I've got to get ready for class"  
Jean grinned happily  
"Thanks Eren, you're a life saver! Got any food?"  
"Maybe, I don't know..."  
If he was honest he couldn't remember the last time he ate. With that realisation came to realisation that it was probably why he felt so shit  
"If you find any, help yourself"  
He left Jean in the living room and returned to his room. He wiped himself over again with his towel before tugging all the piercings off and dressing somewhat more normal. 

Jean let out a small whistle as Eren came out from his room and Eren rolled his eyes  
"Lock the door on your way out?"  
"Sure. But if you're going to walk around like that, I might just hang around until you get home"  
A shiver ran down his spine, he knew Jean was joking but it still made him feel sick. He grabbed his keys from the chairs arm and then snagged his bag   
"Don't forget to eat!"  
"I will!"

*  
Eating was a grave mistake. The food sat heavily and uncomfortably in his stomach and the bandages were oily. How they managed to get a toasted sandwich to drip oil, he'd never know. He binned most of the sandwich on the way to class and managed not to be the last one in. He was just as exhausted as he'd been yesterday, but the pain in his hand helped him focus.

As Eren listened to his lecture talk, he felt the same fever creeping back through his veins. His eyes kept drifting back up to look at the short alpha. He'd never really had a crush in his life, but he realised that was soon changing. Everything about the alpha seemed to draw him in. It didn't matter to him that he didn't understand half of what the man was saying, he just wanted to hear more. When the bell finally rang, Eren was disappointed their time was cut so short. He had another class in an hour, but with a different lecturer, as were the rest of his classes for the week, and he swallowed hard in disappointment. God he was pathetic.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite the fact he couldn't use his hand, Eren still found himself standing outside Underground. It'd been two days since Jean had wrapped up his hand and he hadn't changed the dressing since. He nodded to Reiner as Reiner let him on ahead of the queue, given his phone was dead, he wasn't even sure if Jean had smoothed things out or not.

Then moment he walked, his chest began to tighten. He scolded at himself for being so scared over returning to work after such a minor incident and forced himself through the crowds to where Ivan was serving behind the bar. The blonde man didn't look happy, but then again he never did and Eren sat down in front of him  
"Look who showed up! Fine mess you left is with the other night. Didn't think you'd be the type to just up and off"  
Eren lifted his hand  
"Sorry, did Jean fill you in?"  
"He did. But with you not answering your phone, I didn't know what I was suppose to think"  
Eren heart was in his throat  
"It got broken the other night..."  
"Convenient for you isn't it, look I don't need flaky people. I need someone who will show up and get the job done"  
"I'm sorry..."  
He felt like a kid being scolded by the school principal, and scolded himself for being so pathetic. It wasn't his fault the alpha had knocked him down. He looked down at his hand and back up to Ivan  
"One more chance Yeager. One more fucking chance. And that's only because you didn't cause shit by calling the cops"  
Eren nodded  
"Thank you!"  
"Go cover that hand of yours and get to work"  
Eren nodded, sliding off the bench and moving through the intoxicated crowd. He let himself into the staff locker room and moved to the first aid kit, grabbing out two plastic gloves. They weren't great, and it was going to hurt like a bitch for the rest of the night, but it'd have to do. He stripped off Jean's handiwork and eyed his hand. It looked revolting. He quickly pulled the gloves on and packed the kit away before binning the dirty dressing.

Jean wasn't working, and Eren found himself slightly relieved. The alpha had a tendency to put on a personality when he was and that's why Eren considered him a total arse. He winced as he moved from table to table, trying to keep his head low. As much as he wanted to quit, he couldn't afford his rent if he quit and it wasn't like he had a home to go back to. He worked through the pain until the glove grew slick with blood and he was forced to take a break.

He tried the staff bathroom, but the door was locked and sighed as he made his way across the dance floor and to he public one. It was as disgusting as he remembered. Apparently cleaners came in everyday, but Eren was sure it hadn't been cleaned in years. Still, he moved to the sink and turned the water on, before stripping the gloves off. He winced as the hot water poured over his injured hand, wishing he'd at least thought to take panadol before coming in to work. 

Eren was just reaching for the paper towel when the door opened and two alphas stumbled in, instinctively he tried to shy away, but the bigger of the two stumbled over to him   
"Hey! I know you! You're the kid that made me spill me drink!"  
The man laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard and Eren knew he had to get out of there  
"I'm sorry about that sir, maybe I can buy you and your friend another?"  
The man grinned a toothy smile at him   
"'m afraid that isn't enough, you ruined our night! I think you owe us more than a drink"  
Eren went to slip past the man, but he grabbed his arm and dug his fingers in hard. The teen couldn't help but whimper as the alpha leant in a sniffed  
"You smell really good... how about you make me and my buddy feel really good and we'll forgive you"  
Eren crawled at the man's hand, he didn't care about the pain the action brought, or that he was wiping his blood across the alpha  
"Let me go!"  
The man's eyes widened as he seemed to finally notice the blood   
"You sick little fuck!"  
A hard backhand had Eren seeing stars and he smacked his head against the counter as he fell back  
"Oi! Grab his arm! This little shit has it coming. Who does he think he is, slutting around and then actin' like he don't want it"

Eren's head was spinning as he was pulled back up and shoved against the counter. He tried to fight, but against the two alphas he had no chance, so he screamed for help... even though he knew no one would be able to hear over the music beyond the door. He let out a choked sob as he pants were torn down and the man rutted up against him, before biting down on his ear. He wasn't prepared for what happened next, he screamed as the man pushed in. It felt like his body was splitting in two and tears flowed down his face  
"Fuuuuck... so tight! You have to try him!"  
Eren sobbed freely as the man began to move. It'd been years since he'd last felt this pain and the memories came rushing back. His head lolled forward limply as the alpha fucked him mercirlessly, he could feel the blood running down his thighs and his whole body shook. The man pulled out and came across his arse with a groan   
"You're turn..."  
He had prayed the other alpha would be disgusted, but it wasn't long before the second man had pushed in and he felt himself piss himself from the pain. But the stranger kept going, lasting longer than his friend and when he came, he came inside, knotting him painfully. Not caring about the pain it would cause him, the alpha yanked back, tearing at Eren's insides as he pulled out and once he had Eren collapsed to the floor in a pile   
"Thanks for the fun kid"

He heard the bathroom door open and close and couldn't stop the vomit the rose, throwing up across his legs and adding to the mess he was sitting in. He'd tried so hard to forget the past, but once again life had decided he shouldn't forget, he shouldn't find any measure of happiness... not after what he'd done.

*  
Sitting there he sobbed, he felt so disgusting. He'd fought so hard to move on... to leave the past behind. And what for? He heard the bathroom door open and tried to pull his pants up, but his body just felt so heavy  
"Hey! Are you alright?"  
He blinked through the tears, trying to moved away from the stranger as he did  
"Kid, are you ok?"  
It wasn't them. It wasn't the same alphas. But he was still terrified and when the man moved closer he let out a whimper of fear  
"Fuck. Are you an omega?"  
Eren shook his head, he wanted this man to go. To leave him alone. He didn't deserve to be helped, but the stranger didn't leave  
"I know you're scared, but you need help. I'm not going to hurt you"  
He kicked his legs pathetically, well he tried to kick his legs but pins and needles ran down the backs of both of them and they wouldn't do what he wanted. Still, the man came closer and Eren closed his eyes. He wanted to die. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He was so tired of pretending and so very tired of living.

A warm arm wrapped around his waist and the man pulled him up. He felt the stranger pulling his pants up and tried to move away  
"Stop it brat. I'm taking you to hospital"  
Hospital. That one word made his blood run ice cold. Hospitals meant doctors...  
"No... get off of me..."  
His voice sounded so distant to his ears, but the stranger didn't let him go. His touch was so warm, and his smell familiar, but Eren couldn't place it. 

The moment they staggered out the bathroom, the music had him whimpering. The throbbing in his head intensified, and he felt like he was going to vomit. It was only a few seconds later before he did, but the stranger didn't let him go. This night couldn't get any worse.

The coldness told him they'd reached the door and he was sure he could hear Reiner's voice. It was beyond mortifying to know the man had seen him like this. So weak and pathetic, his true nature on display for all to see  
"Just a little more kid"  
Eren had no idea what the man meant. He just wanted to go home and close his eyes forever. No one would miss him if he did, they'd probably be relieved they no longer had to pretend to like him. He felt himself being pushed and realised he was being forced into a car. He hissed as his abused arse hit the seat, he was still bleeding and now he was probably messing the man's car up. Seriously, he must have a screw lose to help something like him.

*  
At some point he'd passed out, waking up to find himself in hospital alone. Initially he was confused, but as the memories came flooding back he shook as the tears fell. He tried to draw his legs to his chest, but everything just hurt too much and he whimpered softly and closed his eyes again. They didn't stay closed for very long, the sound of footsteps came closer and his heart began to race. It was him... he was coming to get him... he struggled to move his body, he had to get away, he had to hide, but then it was too late and he clamped his hands over his mouth in an effort to his breathing.

"Kid?"  
He knew that voice. It wasn't him. He wasn't there, still he struggled to take a breath as he forced his hands away from his mouth   
"Hold on, I'll get some help"  
He didn't want help. He didn't want anything. He was so fucking numb inside that the only thing anchoring him to reality was the physical pain. He tensed again as two sets of a footsteps reached his ears   
"Mr Yeager?"  
He frowned, how did the woman know his name  
"Mr Yeager, can you hear me?"  
The woman sounded kind, her voice was soft and it only made him feel worse. He let out a small whimper   
"I know it hurts Mr Yeager, but I'm here to help"  
He felt a cool hand land on his forehead and tried to shift away  
"It's alright, I know you're scared. But your friend is here with you"  
Friend? What friend? It took him a few seconds to realise she meant the stranger, and the woman tried a different tactic  
"Eren? Can you tell me what happened?"  
The way she said his name was so filled with pity that all he could do was shake his head   
"Eren, did you know you were in heat tonight?"  
He was what? No. He wasn't an omega. He couldn't go into heat. He was a freak as it was  
"We've already gone ahead and given you a dose of contraceptives, so you don't need to worry about that"  
He wanted the woman to shut up. He couldn't process things as it was... and now she was saying all these things that made no sense. Sure he'd felt weird, but that didn't make him an omega. He sniffled softly, hating the feeling of the snot and tears running down his face   
"The police are here, if you're up for answering some questions, your friend already explained what happened..."  
Great. Ivan was going to be so mad. He could kiss his job goodbye and his apartment with it. He forced himself to clear his throat  
"Send them in"  
His voice was rough and he hated how he sounded  
"Alright. Do you want your friend to stay?"  
"No..."

It was only a few minutes between the pair leaving and the police walking in. He couldn't bare to look at them as he told them what happened. He felt so dirty and ashamed and knew they had to be laughing at him, even if it wasn't out loud. They apologised that such a thing had happened and assured him they'd investigate, but Eren didn't see the point. If he really was an omega, no one was going to believe he didn't know he was in heat. He thought he'd finally have a moment to himself when they left, but soon he felt a warm hand take his and he opened his eyes to stare at the blurry figure  
"Why are you here?"  
There was a soft laugh  
"Because it looks like you need a friend"  
Wiping his eyes with his bad hand, the room became clearer and he frowned as he stared at the man beside the bed  
"I know you"  
The man seemed slightly surprised  
"You do?"  
Of all the people in the whole fucking world  
"I'm in your class..."  
The man's eyes widened   
"Sorry, I'm shit with new faces... I didn't even realise"  
If only he'd kept his fucking mouth shut  
"You should go. Thank you for the help... but I'll be fine"  
The man drew his brow, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips  
"I don't think you should be alone right now..."  
"It's fine. Really. I'm sorry for ruining your night"  
With more effort than he'd intended, he pulled his hand from the man's grip. Closing his eyes and ending the conversation.


	4. Chapter 4

Jean came to pick him up, the car ride was tense and Eren couldn't even look him in the face. It hadn't mattered how many times he'd insisted he'd be fine, the hospital refused to release him without supervision. He hadn't even known the man's number, the nurse had had to call the Underground and get the number from Ivan. Eren could practically feel how pissed the man would be at hearing his name again.

Pulling up outside the apartment building, Eren gathered his things. His clothes were ruined and he'd tossed them, so the only things he had were a set of clothes Jean had leant him, his keys and the medication he'd been put on. His STI tests had come back clean, but he was well aware that not all STI's could be picked up so soon after the incident. He unclipped his belt and flinched when Jean grabbed his arm  
"Call me if you need anything"  
Eren nodded, though he had no intention of calling the man at all. That part of his life was over. All he could do now was pack.  
He climbed from the car, wincing as he did and began to limp towards the front door.

*  
His apartment was as cold and empty as he remembered and he headed straight for the bathroom. They hadn't let him shower properly while he'd been in hospital, and he could still feel the touch of the alphas upon his skin. He stripped off Jean's clothes and made the effort of placing them on the vanity. He paused to eye himself in the mirror, turning to look at the scars on his shoulders. At the time they'd told him he was lucky, if he'd been lucky he would have died that day. Tears formed again, he was so fucking tired of crying and he lashed out, his bandaged fist striking the mirror and he hissed. The pain felt good. Too good. He forced his hand back down and began to unwrap the dressings. Apparently it was infected or something. He didn't care. What was the point?

Standing under the hot water, he scrubbed and scrubbed until he couldn't any longer. He could still feel the alphas semen inside of him, he knew it wasn't, but fuck... less than gently he started to clean himself inside, whispering in pain as his fingers abused the entrance further. Unable to take it any longer, he fell to his knees with a sob. Why couldn't he just die? And why was he too much of a coward to just do it himself?

He stayed under the water until it ran cold, before blindly turned the taps off and forcing himself up. He grabbed his towel and made for his room, collapsing on his bed. They'd told him he was an omega. Shown him the test results, smiled and reassured him like it was a good thing. How could it be a good thing? It was just another cosmic joke. He didn't even bother drying as he crawled from the towel and under the covers. His eyes closing the moment his head hit his pillow.

*  
Without his phone, he'd had to rely on his laptop for his alarm and time. Monday morning came too soon and his stomach was a pit of nerves. Given he was so much of a coward, he was still alive, but he'd done a number on his legs, something he hadn't done in years. But as he'd begun to cut, he couldn't remember why he'd ever stopped. The pain was soothing and he found his mind wasn't replaying that night on repeat each time he did. When his legs had become too painful to touch, he'd moved to his wrist and now both were bandaged, but the dressings were hidden by the sleeves of his hoodie anyway.

Walking into campus had his heart racing. He jumped at every sound and shadow, he shook and flinched away when anyone came too close and by the time he reached the door to his class room he was on the edge of implosion. Just opening the door was enough to have bile rising and burning at his throat. This was a stupid idea. What was he supposed to say if the alpha wanted to talk about what happened? What if the man had told everyone else? He could practically feel them all staring at him as it was. 

Yet, when Levi walked in, the man was frighteningly normal. His gaze lingered on Eren for a fraction longer than he'd expected, but the alpha said nothing to him, instead instantly taking control of the classroom. Eren tried his best to concentrate. But every time someone coughed or sneezed he jumped and his left fingers scratched against the bandage on his right wrist. Behind him someone dropped something and it landed with a solid thud. He let out a whimper and he struggled to catch his breath. He need to get out of there and he needed to right now. He tried to gather his things, but the room was beginning to blur. He couldn't focus on anything other than the fact he couldn't breath. So far into his self induced panic that he didn't even hear the bell ring. 

"Eren?!"  
Whimpering, the teen tried to move away from the sound. He didn't want to talk to Levi and as he tried to stand, he fell backwards with a small sob  
"Shit. Hang on kid"  
He closed his eyes and drew his knees to his chest. He didn't want to be here  
"Eren, its Levi. I need you to take some deep breaths for me"  
Eren shook his head, the man's proximity made breathing nearly impossible. Levi had no idea the affect he had on him. The man's smell wasn't helping the confusion in his head and he whimpered in fear as he felt his body responding. This was all too much, and it was little wonder that he passed out.

 

*  
Waking up he had no idea where he was. He struggled to sit up and eyed the room he was in with suspicion   
"Hey kid. Welcome back. How are you feeling?"  
Eren looked to where Levi's voice was coming from, the alpha was seated behind a heavy desk, which only served to make the man seem smaller  
"Sorry... I'll get my things"  
Levi sighed and placed down the book he'd been holding  
"Eren, I'm not going to hurt you"  
Against with the same sentence and the teen shook his head  
"I'm sorry for wasting your time sir"  
He struggled up from under the throw rug that had been placed over him. He couldn't help but blush knowing that Levi had to have been the one to carry him here   
"Eren, you don't have to run away. You've been unconscious for the last 2 hours, so you've hardly been wasting my time"  
Two hours was still two hours too long. He looked around for his bag and found it sitting against the end of the leather sofa. His head spun as he reached to grab for it  
"Oi kid! Take it slow or you'll pass out again"  
The teen swallowed as he was forced to sit again, waiting until the room stopped spinning. He heard Levi's chair slide and shook his head  
"I'm fine sir"  
"Bullshit. You look like you're about ready to keel over. Have you at least eaten or slept?"  
He'd tried to sleep, but woken up screaming and as for food he had no appetite. His lack of reply answered for him and the short alpha sighed  
"I know it was a shit thing for you to go through, but you need to start taking care of your self"  
Anger bubbled up and side and he was on his feet before he knew it  
"With all due respect you don't know a fucking thing"

It wasn't his finest moment as he stormed from his lectures office. It wasn't until he made it to the front of campus that he even realised he'd forgotten his bag, which had his apartment keys inside. Given he was too embarrassed to go back and face the alpha, he moved to take a seat on one of the benches and buried his face in his hands. Why couldn't he just go one day without fucking things up. Unable to stomach himself any longer, tears yet again welled for the upteenth time and he sobbed pathetically. 

As he cried, he felt the bench dip and a heavy sigh came from beside him  
"You forgot your bag"  
Eren didn't look up, why couldn't Levi just leave him alone?  
"I know you're suffering kid, let me give you a lift home at least?"  
Despite his mind screaming no, he found himself nodding and the short alpha helped him stand.

By the time they reached Levi's car, he'd managed to calm enough to insist he could walk. The alpha practically forced him into the car and Eren tried to ignore the fact that this car cost more than he'd ever see in his life. The drive was silent, and over in what seemed to be a heartbeat. He thanked he alpha quietly, and was confused when Levi unclipped his own belt  
"Consider it part of my job as your educator to make sure you at least make it to your front door alright"  
Once again his body betrayed him by nodding. He cursed himself for being so weak and desperate for something from the alpha, even if he didn't know what.

They ascended the stairs to his doors silently, and he fumbled his keys as he tried to open the door, Levi had to take over as his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Finally when the door opened Eren mumbled a low thank you to the man  
"Try and get some sleep and eat before tomorrow, you probably don't feel like eating, but it'll help"  
Eren just nodded as he was expected to, and slipped inside his apartment. He closed the door before sinking down against it. Levi surely saw right through him. 

He stayed there until he'd calmed completely. All he was doing was causing everyone more trouble. He pushed himself up and staggered across the room, making for the bag of medication on the counter. He'd left them all together so he wouldn't end up losing any of them and shook everything out into a pile. He had no idea what half the active ingredients were, but it didn't matter. He just didn't want to think or feel. He shook out a few of each and downed them all at once, before making his way through to his room.


	5. Chapter 5

Eren groaned as he woke to yet another unfamiliar ceiling. This one was yellow, though he was sure it'd one been white. His head throbbed something bad and he went to raise his hand, only to feel a solid tug and panic began to set in as he couldn't move his other one either. Raising his head, he looked to his wrists, both firmly strapped to the bed and tears began to form. He tried harder to get free, but all it did was dig against his wrists and he whimpered in pain. Not again... he couldn't go through this all over again...

As he laid there trapped, his tears came thick and fast, the feeling of being completely helpless was suffocating and he shook his head as if trying to deny the situation. What was he even doing here? The last thing he remembered was Levi dropping him home and him being disgusted with himself over how much he wanted to spend those extra seconds with the alpha. Whimpering he felt the padding around his wrists growing damp, he figured he must have opened all the small cuts he'd inflicted the previous night, and if he could remember that, why couldn't he remember what he'd done to wind up here?

To his left a door opened, a young male nurse followed and older doctor into the room and he tried to pull away, whimpering as he did  
"Mr Yeager, do you know where you are? Or why you're here?"  
Eren shook his head, he could hear his heart pounding and smell his own fear  
"We need you to calm down Mr Yeager, or we'll be forced to administer a sedative"  
Memories flashed to mind and he let out a long choked sob  
"Please let me go... I'll be good. I promise I'll be good..."  
"You'll be good and calm down for us?"  
Eren nodded quickly. Anything but a sedative. He forced deep breaths into his aching chest, trying hard to prove to them he didn't need to be sedated  
"That's good, keep breathing like that"  
He nodded in fear, he didn't want to make them mad. He didn't want them to hurt him like they had... he tried hard to keep breathing, but his body refused to relax  
"That's good Mr Yeager, now how about we talk?"  
Eren nodded again in fear and the older man moved closer, the male nurse right behind him  
"My names Dot Pixis, I'll be the psychologist conducting your assessment today. Is that alright?"  
When Eren didn't reply the man moved to sit in the chair next to him and the male nurse passed him a clipboard and pen  
"Before we begin, can you tell me your details? Your birthday for example?"  
"Eren Yeager, born March 30th in Shinganshima. My parents were Carla and Grisha Yeager"  
"That's good. Now, how about how you've been feeling lately?"  
Eren frowned  
"Shit... I suppose..."  
Pixis smiled  
"How very honest, you wouldn't believe the amount of patients that come in and try to lie"  
Eren swallowed, not knowing if he was supposed to elaborate, but Pixis continued  
"And why have you been feeling shit?"  
"I... I was attacked... and... I'm..."  
"When you say attacked, do you mean physically or sexually?"  
Eren felt his face heat up, he closed his eyes   
"Sexually"  
Pixis hummed  
"I'm sorry to hear that. Is that why you overdosed on your medication?"  
So that's what it was. He'd finally found his courage and managed to fuck up  
"I don't remember"  
"That's normal. Your friend found you unresponsive on your bed, apparently he got you vomiting before things for too bad"  
Levi was the only one he could think of, he highly doubted Jean would have made the effort   
"Eren, by law I'm required to hold you for 72 hours pending a psych evaluation. Have you been through this before?"  
The teen sucked in a deep breath  
"Yeah, when I was 14"  
"And what happened to cause your last admittance?"  
"My... mother was murdered"  
He heard the scritch of the pen against the paper   
"Is that why you were so scared when you woke up? Did it trigger memories of the last time?"  
Eren nodded and again Pixis jotted it down  
"Eren, if we removed the restraints, will you get violent?"  
"No..."  
"Very good"  
Keeping his eyes closed, he listened to the hushed conversation between the two men  
"Eren, this is Eld, he's going to release the restraints now"

Eren stayed as still as he could as the man released his wrists, he let out a small sob of relief when the pressure disappeared   
"Better?"  
"Much. Thank you"  
"I'll send someone in to change those dressings, and then you should try and get some sleep. I'll be back later this afternoon to talk some more"  
Eren nodded and heard Pixis and Eld leave the room, the second the door closed behind them, he rolled onto his side and gripped at his pillow. Being here was beyond terrifying, even scarier than what had happened on the bathroom at the Underground.

It was a good few minutes before the door opened again and he heard the sound of wheels against the linoleum. He kept his eyes closed, and the nurse made no effort to talk to him. She sighed loudly though, every few seconds and Eren scrunched his eyes closed tighter. He bedside manner was horrible and she wasn't gentle at all as she unwrapped his wrists. He could practically see the look of annoyance on her face and couldn't blame her. He'd always been a burden. She wrapped his wrists with new dressings, they were tight enough to be painful and he waited until she'd left to loosen them the best he could. With nothing to distract him, his thoughts turned to Levi. Once again he'd wasted the man's time. Why hadn't he just unenrolled? It would have been easy. He could have just worked and slept, he'd never amount to anything anyway.

*  
Pixis returned later, but he didn't return alone. Eren's eyes widened as Levi walked into the room, the alpha looked like shit and he bit down hard on his lip  
"Levi was worried about you"  
Eren shook his head  
"He doesn't need to be... I didn't meant to overdose"  
He was sure he did, but they didn't need to know that  
"Do you remember what happened?"  
"No"  
"Then how do you know you didn't meant to take so many pills?"  
"B-because... if I wanted to die, all I had to do was cut deeper"  
Levi's eyes narrowed and goosebumps erupted across Eren's skin in response  
"While that's true, some people are afraid of dying like that. But we didn't come in here to talk about that. I can't leave you two alone, but I can sit by the door while you two talk"

Levi moved to Eren's side and Eren closed his eyes  
"Hey kid, you had me scared"  
"I'm sorry..."  
"It's alright, as long as you're alright"  
"I keep wasting your time. I don't know why you're being so nice to a stranger"  
Levi snorted  
"I don't know either, but I just can't seem to leave you alone"  
"I wish you would"  
Pain flicked through Levi's eyes so fast that Eren wasn't sure if he'd seen it or not  
"Look kid, I know what happened was really fucking shitty, but you don't need to try and do this alone. What would your friends and family think?"  
Eren let out a hollow laugh  
"I don't have any, not anymore"  
"Shit kid. That's rough. I know you don't know as anyone other than your teacher, but if you need to talk, I'll always listen"  
Eren closed his eyes and Levi rested his hand on his forehead   
"When you get out of here, I want you to come stay with me for a couple of days. They won't release you if you don't have anywhere to go"  
"I know..."  
"So you'll think about it?"  
Eren didn't reply, he wanted to scream yes, but that meant that letting Levi in and it was better for the strange alpha if he didn't.

"You know, you missed class yesterday. I don't know if you ever listen to me, but everyone else got their first assessment pieces"  
A small sigh slipped from Eren's lips and Levi laughed  
"It's not that bad, I promise"  
"It's not that I haven't listened to you, but to be honest I'm completely confused"  
"That's fine, I'll explain everything when you come and stay"  
Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Why did he crave this strangers attention? He didn't understand it... was it because Levi was an alpha? Was it his omega side desperate for attention or was him that was after the attention and the alpha thing an after thought?

Levi didn't stay much longer and Pixis let him alone again. They brought some kind of mushy gruel for dinner and his stomach turned, he just couldn't eat and trying to force it down only resulted in it coming back up. That night he fell to sleep in a panic. The nurse had said she was giving him something for the nausea, but it only took a few seconds for him to realise he was suddenly incredibly tired and even though he tried to fight it, he fell asleep and was stuck in dreams of the past.

*  
Pixis asked him all sorts of questions, but he was too scared to give full answers. They were stupid questions anyway like "do you miss your mother?", of course he fucking did. He had no idea how much the man knew about his past, but he didn't want to talk about it, especially when talking changed nothing.

The nurses came and went, some where nice, or at least gentle, but he knew what they all must think of him. By the end of the 72 hours he was so highly strung that when Levi came to collect him, he burst into tears while repeating "I don't want to be here". The alpha didn't miss a beat and Eren found himself pulled into a somewhat awkward hug. Fuck the man smelt amazing and Eren found it hard not to nuzzle in wanting more. He stayed close to the alpha as Levi signed the release papers, and Pixis gave the man a small bottle of pills. Eren eyed them with suspicion, there was no way in hell he was taking them. He waited until they were walking out the front door before slowing, Levi took a few steps before looking back at him  
"Are you coming?"  
Eren shook his head  
"You don't have to do this..."  
The alpha sighed  
"I know. But for some unknown reason you're under my skin. So let's get the fuck away from the place. It's depressing as fuck"  
Eren nodded, and Levi took him by the arm, leading him down the front lawn and across to the parking lot.


	6. Chapter 6

Levi refused to take him home, and Eren sat awkwardly in the passenger seat not knowing what to do or say. The alpha had no idea about the pit of self hatred he lived in or anything about him really and Eren didn't particularly want to confide in the man. Levi was sure to run for the hills once he realised all of Eren's emotional baggage and the omega was desperate for the alpha to live him as it was.

Pulling up out front of Levi's, Eren couldn't help be a little disappointed by how normal the man's house was. It was the stereotypical cardboard cut out, complete with a white picket fence and an apple tree in the front yard  
"It's not much, but it's nicer than your apartment"  
Eren couldn't help the small prang of hurt he felt. Sure his apartment was kind of shitty, but it was his and he'd worked his arse off to get it. Levi unclipped his seatbelt and exited the car, so Eren followed, awkwardly hugging himself once free of the vehicle. His mind was a total jumbled and his nerves were getting the better of him. He watched as Levi moved to the front door and forced himself to begin to follow. He felt too dirty to be walking into such a nice looking home and desperately wanted to turn and run, but he didn't even have his apartment keys and crashing at Jean's was out of the question.

Inside Levi's house it was spotless. Everything had its own place and the whole house smelt like fresh laundry. He definitely didn't belong here. As Levi walked forward, Eren stepped back until his back his the door and he fumbled for the handle. He couldn't do this... yanking hard, the handle turned and pulled the door open before stumbling out the house. Tears stung at his eyes and even though he had no idea where he was, he chose to go right and began to run. Behind him he heard Levi calling his name, but he didn't look back. He couldn't. He'd never be with the alpha and he'd never be the kind of omega the man wanted. It was better this way. He'd withdraw from college and that would be it. He'd have no reason to be in the alphas life.

He'd only made it a few blocks when he was forced to slow. The burning in his chest made it nearly impossible to breathe and his legs ached. He'd never really been one for fitness, and he'd never been good at taking care of himself, both never more evident than right now. As his run slowed to a fast walk, he finally looked back, part of him was relieved Levi wasn't behind him, but part of him was secretly crushed the man hadn't chased after him. Wrapping his arms tighter around himself, he kept his head low as he finally reached a busy street, people paid him no mind as he made his way through them. It was like he didn't even seem to exist.

*  
Eren felt liked he'd walked the whole width of Trost City, he'd found a bus stop with a route map that hadn't been too badly graffitied on and was kind of proud he'd made it back to his apartment complex. His legs shook with effort as he made his way upstairs and down the hall to his door. Taking a deep breath, he said a small prayer and reached for the handle, it opened easily and he couldn't help but let out a huge sigh of relief. He hurried inside and locked the door behind him. With the world now laying beyond the door, he felt the pressure in his chest ease and he made a beeline for his bed. His small moment of happiness was shattered when he walked in and realised he'd thrown up across it and the sheets had been sitting like that for days. 

Stripping the pile down, he bundled it up and dropped it just outside the door. Tomorrow's Eren could deal with it, for today's Eren was going to sleep.

Sleeping turned out to be a horrible idea. He woke up screaming in fear and drenched in sweat, the sun hadn't even gone done yet and he felt like a total fool. Pushing himself out of bed, he moved into the living room, before collapsing onto the sofa and pulled his laptop into his lap. He knew he should have a little bit of money, and once his slow arse internet got into gear, he logged into his bank account and tried to do the math. He had just under $700 in savings, and if he managed to get his bond back he should be able to afford some place else, though the neighbourhood would be nowhere near as nice. It wasn't like he had that much stuff to move, so he wouldn't have to pay for a removalist. Jean might even help him out... but then again, that meant talking to the man. Closing his eyes he let out a sigh. He knew he should probably at least try to eat something, but nothing seemed appealing. Deciding the four walls weren't doing anything for his mood, he pushed his laptop off and hunted down his wallet. He couldn't lock the door without his keys, so he slid his laptop under the sofa cushion and grabbed the ruined bedding to bin on the way.

Outside was a horrible idea. It was only a five minute walk to the supermarket, but it felt so much longer. By the time he reached the doors, he needed a minute to compose himself. Given he looked like a moron, he forced himself into the brightly lit and uncomfortably cold store. He grabbed a basket and began to walk the isles, nothing seemed appealing at all. He chucked a couple of microwave meals in and a bottle of milk. He used the self serve and was nearly out the store when he found himself pausing and looking at the entrance to the liquor store connected. He'd never been a drinker, but right now, he just needed to feel something that wasn't soul crushing grief. He walked in and grabbed the first bottle of bourbon he found. Jean seemed to like bourbon, so he put his trust in the man's sense of taste. The man at the counter sighed as he served him. He hardly looked much older than he was and seemed so bored with life. He paid for the bottle and headed back home.

*  
The first mouthful was gross and burnt, but after the 5th he found himself enjoying himself. He'd pulled his laptop into his lap and was now binging on slowly loading "funny videos". It wasn't like anyone was around to keep him company, and although he desperately wanted to see Levi, the alcohol was soon ridding him of that feeling.

By 8pm he was feeling tired and pleasantly buzzed. And with his new found courage he facebooked Jean, asking him to come over and then even more smartly, he emailed admissions at the college requesting to unenroll, even giggling as he sent the email. Forgetting he'd even messaged Jean, he closed his laptop and put the half empty bottle of bourbon on the table before yawning and stumbling into his room. 

It felt like he'd barely closed his eyes before someone was knocking at his door and he had no idea who the hell it could possibly be. Still slightly intoxicated, the walk was harder than he remembered.

"Jean!"  
Jean seemed just as confused as he'd just been and he pulled the man inside  
"What are you doing here?!"  
Jean smiled as he shook his head  
"You've been drinking haven't you?"  
Eren nodded, feeling quite proud of himself, he wandered back to the sofa and grabbed the bottle of bourbon, Jean joining him a few seconds later  
"So you wanted to talk?"  
Eren nodded as he took a large mouthful of the bourbon  
"I was wondering if you'd help me move"  
He laughed at Jean's confused face, but that soon fell when the alpha grabbed the bottle from his hand and downed his own mouthful  
"Sure. Where you moving to?"  
"No idea"  
Jean snorted and took another mouthful of bourbon before passing the bottle back  
"Then why are you moving?"  
"I haven't got a job any more and with no job I can't afford this place"  
Jean let out a sigh  
"It fucking sucks. I didn't even know Ivan fired you"  
Eren nodded  
"I assume so, I mean, I haven't talk to him since that night and he hated my guts anyway"  
"So when do you have to be out?"  
"I don't know. The sooner the better... I can't afford to even pay this months rent"  
Eren coughed, choking on the bourbon and Jean took the bottle from him  
"We need more than this and I need cigarettes. Have you got food?"  
"Do microwave meals and milk count?"  
"Not really. Hold up"  
Jean pulled out his phone and Eren watched him in curiosity, whatever it was only took the alpha a few minutes, and then the man looked up with his usual cocky grin  
"Right, alcohol and cigarettes are coming"  
Eren's eyes widened  
"How?"  
The alpha laughed  
"The magic of internet"

It seemed like no time passed before a scrawny man was standing in his doorway and Jean was signing for something. He'd never gotten drunk before, but Jean seemed a whole lot nicer now he was. The alpha carried his order back to the table and dumped it down on the table  
"Do you smoke?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Nope. Dad used to... but he used to burn me with them"  
He couldn't understand why Jean was frowning or why the alpha slid the packet into his pocket instead or opening it  
"You can smoke if you want..."  
"Not after you drop something heavy like that I can't"  
Eren frowned, he'd said something wrong... and now he felt like an idiot. He downed what was left of the bottle, trying to drown the rising feelings of anxiety.


	7. Chapter 7

Jean said nothing as he passed him another drink. Feeling hot, he slid his sleeves up without thinking and Jean grabbed his wrists, causing him to whimper  
"What is this?"  
Eren shook his head and tried to pull back. He'd made everything even worse. Pathetically he sniffled, but Jean still stared at him, almost concerned   
"Eren. What did you do?"  
"It's not like that... it helps..."  
Jean let out a sigh  
"This shit never helps. Have you at least kept them clean?"  
Eren shook his head. He knew they did them last night, but hadn't cleaned them this morning  
"First aid kits in the bathroom right?"  
He nodded and the alpha moved away. Again he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, and opened the can the man had passed him. He winced at the fizziness and squinted at the can. Bourbon and cola. That explained the fizz.

When Jean came back out, he held his hand out and Eren was confused. The alpha finally had to take him by the hand and place it in his lap, before peeling off the dressing  
"It looks better than I expected"  
Eren nodded, the skin that had been beneath the dressing was white and wrinkled, causing the mostly healed lines to stand out further  
"They cleaned it at the hospital"  
"You were in hospital?"  
Eren nodded and immediately regretted it. He swallowed down the vomit   
"Levi thought I tried to kill myself. But I just didn't want to think anymore. And they locked me up in the loony bin"  
The omega cocked his head to the side, but Jean didn't seem to be shocked  
"Who's Levi?"  
"He's my teacher and he's an alpha. He's the one from the club too... and he signed me out of the nuthouse. But I ran away"  
Jean nodded and dabbed at his wrists  
"You should probably just let these dry out. They're mostly healed as it is"  
Obediently he waited as Jean took the other dressing off. The alpha then closed the first aid kit and set it on the floor. They fell into silence and Eren didn't know what to say. His mouth seemed to want to do its own thing anyway. He finished the drink Jean gave him and settled back against the sofa cushions.

He must have fallen asleep, because he felt someone holding him and began to panic. He shook as he tried to push them away, the word "no" falling from his lips on repeat until the person finally let go  
"Eren?"  
He sucked in a desperate breath, and could feel the wetness on his face  
"Eren, are you ok?"  
He shook his head and reached blindly for Jean  
"Shit. Hold up"  
The warm wait returned and he felt himself being lifted, then placed down a few seconds later on what he assumed to be his bed, but kept the same hold on Jean's shirt  
"Come on, time to go to sleep"  
Eren shook his head and Jean sighed  
"Eren, you were sleeping on the sofa until I went to move you to the bed"  
"I don't wanna sleep"  
Jean sighed again  
"Wanna tell me about it then?"  
The omega sucked another desperate breath down  
"I... Jean... I feel them all the time... I don't want to feel them anymore..."  
Jean pulled him tighter and Eren's tears flows faster  
"I know you don't"  
"I see them when I'm sleeping... I'm so scared... I don't want to be scared... I don't know what to do"  
Jean hushed him gently  
"Let's get you into bed"  
"No! I don't want to sleep"  
"Look, we don't have to sleep, we can lay here and talk and stuff. How about that?"  
Eren nodded and Jean gently pushed him back   
"Do you want to change?"  
"D'nt wanna sleep in jeans"  
Eren giggled and even with his eyes closed he was sure Jean was finding it just as funny as he did  
"Yes, yes. Do you have pyjamas?"  
"No... usually sleep in a shirt..."  
He couldn't remember if the word underwear was right. He was sure it was, but the word just didn't feel right when he went to say it  
"Shirt and underwear?"  
He nodded. Jean had said underwear, so it must be right.

Eren let Jean help him from his jeans and then help him under the covers  
"I'll be back in just a moment"  
Eren nodded, his eyes were still closed, but he was fighting to stay awake. It was a few seconds later that he heard a soft thud of something being placed on the floor  
"You don't have a normal bucket, so the mop buckets next to you incase you need to vomit. Fair warning, I snore"  
Eren nodded and felt the other side of the bed dip. It felt so fucking weird to be sharing a bed with someone, once the alpha was settled, he moved closer to the warmth  
"I'm sorry I'm such a shitty person. I really did think you were a douche"  
Jean laughed  
"Don't worry, I thought you were an arsehole to"  
He buried his face against Jean's chest  
"I'm scared"  
Jean pulled him back in for another hug and Eren sniffled  
"It's alright. No ones going to hurt you"  
Eren nodded against the man  
"I think I like Levi... but... how am I ever supposed to be with him, especially after he found me... he must think I'm so dirty"  
"I doubt it, you said he picked you up right? He wouldn't do that if he didn't care"  
"But he doesn't even know me... and I don't know if it's cause I'm an omega... but he smells really good"  
Jean let out a small laugh  
"You know, any other alpha would be jealous. You're laying here in my arms and talking about another man"  
Eren shook his head  
"No one wants me... they never have"  
Jean hushed him again and he nuzzled the alphas chest   
"Any alpha would be lucky to have you"  
"Even you?"  
"Yeah"

It wasn't the wisest of moves, but pulling back from Jean's chest, Eren opened his eyes to find the alpha staring at him, desperate for the connection, he pressed a kiss to the alphas mouth, moaning as Jean deepened it. Kissing Jean felt weird, but not completely terrible and he pushed the alpha back so he could move to straddle Jean's waist. He could feel himself growing slick, but he was too mixed up to care, and whined when Jean broke the kiss  
"Eren..."  
He shook his head  
"I don't want to feel them anymore... I don't want to hear them... I just want to forget"  
Jean nodded   
"I'm not sure this is..."  
"Please! Please Jean! You know and you aren't disgusted at me... everyone else is..."  
"You mean Levi don't you?"  
Eren bit his lip and looked down  
"Look, if you want to, I don't mind. But don't go projecting what you feel for Levi on me"  
Eren nodded and Jean took his face, pulling him in for another kiss. He closed his eyes and wondered how it'd feel if Levi was kissing him.

Jean gently rolled them over, before pulling on Eren's shirt hem  
"Not... my shirt"  
The alpha nodded into kiss and ha hands moved to tug down Eren's underwear. The feeling of being touched so gently was completely foreign, and he whimpered as the alphas hands slid along his thighs  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded quickly. His heart was racing, even more so when Jean's fingers rubbed against his entrance   
"Shit... you're so fucking wet... can I?"  
Eren nodded with no real idea what Jean meant. He felt the alpha move back, but the whine in his throat turned from one of complaint to one of pleasure as Jean's tongue replaced his fingers. He was growing dizzier by the second, even though his eyes were closed. Jean smelt different from Levi, but no completely unpleasant. But Levi smelt better. Levi smelt like he was made for him.

He mewed lewdly as Jean mouthed his opening, his hands had found their way to the man's two toned hair and he whined when Jean pulled back  
"I can't wait any longer"  
Eren nodded and forced his hands from Jean's hair. He felt the bed shift and heard the man rustling  
"Jean?"  
"Condom"  
Eren nodded, he hadn't even thought of that, but it was nice Jean did. The weight moved yet again and Jean leaned over him, without thinking he reached up and pulled the alpha down  
"Eren, my mouth is covered in your slick"  
The omega didn't care. He wanted Jean to hurry up. To make him forget already and pulled the alpha down for the kiss he wanted so badly. He could taste himself, it was sweet like honey with a hint of cinnamon. He felt Jean's erection rub him and moaned as the alpha teased him by just rubbing the head against the twitching muscle. In the back of his mind he remember he wasn't supposed to have sex, but he didn't care, and he shuddered when Jean began to slide in  
"Fuck..."  
The alpha panted the words and Eren pushed down against the man, forcing him deeper as he let out a long groan.

Jean waited for him to adjust before beginning to move, the alphas thrusts were hard, but his rhythm slow, not at all what he wanted and he whined as he rocked his hips. His omega side was going mental. This wasn't his alpha, but it was an alpha and he felt a desperate need for something  
"Harder..."  
His fingers dug into Jean's back as the alpha sped up, all he could do was hold on limply until the man's knot began to swell and his eyes rolled back. He came with a whimper and his eyes filled with tears immediately. Levi's face came to mind and he let out a sob as Jean rushed to wipe the tears away  
"I've got you, your safe"  
Eren held him desperately.

*  
Waking up in Jeans arms was confusing. His head was throbbing and he had no idea what happened the night before. He winced as he lifted the blankets, at least he still had his shirt and underwear on... this was going to be bad  
"Good morning"  
Eren jumped as he shifted away  
"You alright Eren?"  
The omega wasn't alright. He didn't know what he was, but the walking dead seemed close  
"Um. Jean. Don't take this wrong way... but what are you doing here?"  
Jean's eyes went wide for a moment  
"You messaged me last night, asking me to come over. You'd been drinking so we hung out and drank some more... from how green you're looking I'd say you're definitely feeling it"  
He nodded slowly, that explained some of it  
"So why are you in my bed?"  
Jean sighed, his face softening to look almost human   
"You were scared to sleep alone. Don't worry, we don't have to talk about it again"  
Eren blushed in embarrassment   
"I'm sorry... I've never gotten drunk before"  
Jean laughed and Eren winced at how stupidly loud it sounded  
"It's fine. Besides, I learnt you weren't such an arsehole last night"  
Eren didn't know what to say, but he wanted Jean gone so he could curl up in a ball and die  
"I'm going to head off, I've for stuff to do. But if you decided you're going to go through with moving, let me know?"  
Eren winced internally. It seemed drunk Eren said way too much and he hated to know what else he'd told the alpha  
"Ok... um... I know I don't remember it, but thanks for putting up with me last night"  
Jean gave him a smile as he slipped from the bed and Eren was relieved to see the alpha was also wearing a shirt and underwear. At least drunk Eren wasn't a slut. He closed his eyes and Jean said goodbye again. It was few minutes before he heard the front door open and close. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it. He didn't even remember making the bed... maybe drunk Eren was domesticated. What ever he was, it wasn't worth the grossness he was currently experiencing and he forced himself out of bed and into the shower.

Hot water proved to be a terrible idea like all the other ones he'd had of late. As soon as the hot water hit his back, he vomited spectacularly across his feet and let out a groan of disgust. What a way to start a morning.


	8. Chapter 8

The aching in head hadn't lessened, so he'd migrated back to bed. His stomach wouldn't settle and he spent most of the morning with his head over the side of the bed, feeling like he was going to vomit, but nothing came up.

By mid afternoon he'd abandoned his room, and was curled up on the sofa. The apartment was silent and he dozed off and on as he wished he could remember what the hell happened the night before. He flinched as a heavy knock fell against the door and covered his ears, trying to pretend he couldn't hear it. But it just kept going... and going and he whimpered as he stumbled and yanked the door open  
"Eren!"  
Levi sounded shocked to see him and the omega panicked, slamming the door in the man's face before realising what he'd done. He was completely mortified and unsure what to do. He backed away from it and fled to the sofa, but it Levi opened the door and let himself in  
"Ok. Not going to ask what that was"  
Eren flinched, he knew Levi was talking normally, but fuck... couldn't the man see he was in pain  
"What do you want Levi?"  
The alpha frowned   
"You took off yesterday, I wanted to check in and make sure you're ok"  
"I'm fine. Thanks. You can go now"  
He knew he was being a dick, but he couldn't have this conversation. Not like this. Levi sighed deeply  
"You don't look fine"  
"It's nothing"  
"If I had to hazard a guess I'd say you were hung over, but given you aren't supposed to be drinking..."  
Levi let the sentence hang and Eren found himself snapping  
"Oh geez! I'm not? Such a fucking shame. Now if you're done laughing at me, you can fuck o.."  
The end of his sentence was cut off as he clamped his hand to his mouth and ran into the bathroom. He vomited weakly into the sink and winced as the feeling of his stomach to expel what wasn't there. Eren took his time to wash this face and mouth, hoping Levi would be gone when he emerged, but the alpha had moved to sit on the sofa and Eren just shook his head.

He ignored the man as he walked to the kitchen and opened the first draw, rifling around for the panadol before popping two pills and swallowing them dry  
"I'm going to bed, you can let yourself out"  
As Eren went to move to the bedroom, Levi moved to intercept, the alpha took him by the arm and the omega whimpered as he pulled away  
"Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't think"  
"Please... please just leave me alone..."  
Eren didn't know where the tears came from, but he sniffled at the end of his sentence  
"Eren, I can't do that. Anyone can see you're not coping and I'm worried about you"

Shaking his head, Eren pushed past the man and into his room. He wrinkled his nose at the lingering smell of Jean and it didn't help when Levi followed him in and let out a small growl  
"My friend Jean slept over..."  
Levi's eyes narrowed and Eren swallowed hard as he sat on the edge of the bed. He had no idea why he was explaining this to Levi  
"He slept over?"  
Eren nodded  
"We had a few drinks last night and the sofa's horrible to sleep on. But that's none of you business"  
Levi growled again and Eren winced at the sound. The alpha didn't sound pleased at all... and he knew what happened when he made alphas mad. The smell of his distress must have hit Levi and the alpha coughed quietly  
"Sorry. You're right, it isn't my business. But I am worried about you"  
"Levi. You and I are strangers. We met by accident and then you helped me out, even though you had no reason to. I don't know why you keep trying to help me, but I can't handle it. I don't know what you want me to tell you, so please can you just leave"  
It felt like his heart was breaking as he uttered the words softly. The alpha let out a long breath  
"Look... I just came to check up on you. I gave you the night because I thought you needed space, but I don't want to be making things worse. I'll leave for now, but I expect to see you in class on Monday"  
Eren nodded, he couldn't look up at Levi. The alpha sounded sad and it only added to his own pain. This was better. He'd move out and Levi could go back to his old life. The alpha was seriously good looking, so he doubted he'd have any issue finding a partner and being happy  
"Eren, I'll see you Monday right?"  
"Sure"

Levi left and it felt like all the air in the apartment left with him. His chest was burning and he curled up on his bed. 

*  
Monday came too soon, and he woke to found an email from the college. It was regarding the withdrawal application he'd submitted and he cursed drunk Eren. He had no idea what he'd put in it, and when he found it in the sent file he was mortified. Yeah... there was no way he could head into college administration after what he'd put. He snapped the laptop closed and pushed himself off the sofa, staggering into the bathroom and stripping down. He was so fucking tired, and he'd gone and made things so much worse. Sure he wanted to unenroll, but fuck. Opening the vanity he felt around for the blade he knew was in there, smiling without realising it when his fingers brushed the cold metal. It was official. He wouldn't see Levi again. The alpha would probably hear all about what he'd said, and no doubt would show up demanding answers. But Eren had no answers for him. He had none for anyone.

Turning the shower to run slightly hotter than normal, he sank to the shower floor, laughing at his own weakness through the tears. The first cut on his hip was deeper than usual, but the pain just felt too good and the subsequent cuts gradually grew deeper until he realised he was actually loosing a fair bit of blood. He sighed as the blade slipped from his fingers. 

Given he wouldn't stop bleeding, he forced himself from the shower, blood swirled into the water running down his body and across the floor. Still, he paid it no mind as he dried himself off, and with the blood soaked towel still around his waist, he climbed into bed.

He awoke to the sound of someone pounding on the door, his head felt so damn fuzzy he couldn't open his eyes. It was probably just Levi, the door was locked and chained so the alpha couldn't get in. He never usually used the chain, but he didn't trust Levi not to find a way in.

Eventually the sound of knocking went away and he snuggled back into his pillow, waking once or twice from the nightmares, but he just couldn't stay awake long enough to be upset over them and it ended up some twisted marathon of everything he'd been through and then some. He couldn't escape and wondered if he'd actually died and gone to hell.

By the time he began to feel human again, he had no idea how much time had passed. The room spun as he stumbled from the bedroom to the kitchen. He grabbed the first microwave meal he found and stabbed it with a fork, chucking it in for an a few minutes, the numbers were too blurred so he hoped it be enough. He'd over microwaved it in the end, it was tough and dry, but he choked it down. Too tired to give a fuck about the fact it had no taste. 

He'd fallen back to sleep on the sofa, when once again a someone started knocking and he groaned  
"Eren!"  
The omega drew his brow in concentration, the door was too far away, but Jean sounded worried. He didn't want people to worry. He wasn't worth it. Forgetting he was wearing just a towel, he stumbled across the room and fumbled off the door chain, he frowned when the door refused to open. But after a few tries, he finally got the lock undone and opened the door  
"Eren! Shit!"  
He hadn't meant to collapse forward, but he was just too fucking tired to hold himself up. Jean caught him easily and carried him inside, closing the door behind them  
"Fuck! You were supposed to message me"  
"m sorry... I'm just sleepy"  
Jean carried him through to his room and sat him down  
"Eren, I'm not leaving you alone like this. Please tell me you didn't spend the last 5 days like this"  
Eren scrunched his face up, he wanted to say no, but his tongue wouldn't move  
"Ok. That's it. You're coming home with me"

Eren felt the towel being stripped away and tried to push the hands away. His heart had begun to race and he couldn't catch his breath  
"Eren. I know you're scared, but it's alright, I'm just putting some clothes on you. Or do you want everyone to see you naked?"  
No, he really didn't. He nodded the best he could and heard Jean moving around, he felt the fabric of his pants sliding up and then Jean moved him forward   
"Holy fuck... Eren, what the are these scars"  
Oh. He'd forgotten about those. Now Jean had seen, tears filled his eyes and the alpha pulled him close  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I'll put your shirt on you and then we can go"  
Eren couldn't stay awake any longer, he was just too fucking exhausted.

*  
Jean's place hadn't exactly been what he'd expected. For one the alpha had a room mate already and for two the place was neat. It'd been two days since he'd woken up in Jean's bed and the alpha insisted on taking care of him like he was his. 

Marco, Jean's roommate, was nice as far as he could tell. The omega was obviously slightly put out that Eren was sleeping in Jean's bed, despite the fact that Eren has assured him multiple times nothing had happened between them. He really did like Marco, and he and Jean would be the perfect couple, so hated the fact the alpha wouldn't let him go home. He'd tried to leave when Jean went to work, but Marco had asked him to stay and there was no way Eren could say no to the omegas wide and gently pleading eyes. 

By day 3 Eren was going crazy. Unable to stand laying next to Jean after waking from a particular bad nightmare, he'd tried to slip off to the sofa for some time to think. Jean had instead grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back to bed. Which, given the nature of his nightmare, had him screaming at the man to let him go. Barely seconds had passed before Marco flicked on the light switch and Eren looked up to see a set of very hurt looking eyes  
"Marco, come help me with him. He had a nightmare"  
Jean's words only served to have him struggling harder and he fell hard to the floor in a panting heap. The bed squeaked as Jean moved to the edge and Eren tried to pull himself together  
"Come on, let's get you up and back to bed"  
The feel of the alphas fingers wrapping around his arm and pulling him up was just too much  
"Stay the fuck away from me!"  
His eyes were scrunched tightly as he screamed the words, but Jean still moved closer  
"You keep telling everyone what's wrong with me like it's your right! I'm sick of it! I don't want people to know and you keep opening your mouth!"  
The omega began to sob into his hands, and Jean released him  
"Eren, I..."  
"Just leave me alone Jean. I want to go home and you won't even let me do that"  
Eren shook as a he was pulled into a soft hug, by who he could only assume was Marco   
"Come on Eren, I'll take you home"  
He nodded against Marco, letting the fellow teen pull him up  
"You can't seriously be taking him home"  
"I can and I am. Being here's not helping. I know you've got you heart in the right place, but you alphas just don't understand"

Marco was a substantially more careful than Jean. He also didn't try and press for conversation, which was something Eren was more than grateful for. Unclipping his belt, Eren tried to find the words to thank Marco, but the omega was undoing his own belt and he was just too confused. Getting out the car, Marco came around and opened his door, unclipped his belt and took him by the arm to help him out the car  
"I know. I'm sorry, I know you can do it yourself, but I just wanted to spend a little longer with you so I don't have to go home just yet"  
Eren offered Marco a small smile and the omega wrapped his arm around his waist  
"Please tell me this place has an elevator?"  
"Nope"  
Marco sighed  
"How many stairs?"  
"Enough to be annoying"

By the time they reached Eren's apartment, Eren wasn't sure if Marco's panting was an act or if the omega was truly suffering  
"Do... you... have... your... keys?"  
"Nope. I haven't seen them in a long while"  
Marco's eyes widened and Eren wondered if the man was thinking he'd have to walk all the way back down the stairs to see the building manager. As Marco let out a groan, Eren opened the door and the smell of blood hit them both  
"You really should lock your door"  
"You can blame Jean. I don't even remember him showing up"  
"Yeah, well, his hearts in the right place, but he really does fail in execution"  
"Thanks for the ride Marco, but I'll be alright now"  
Marco nodded slowly   
"It was nice meeting you Eren"

He supposed he should have let the fellow omega stay a little longer, but the smell of blood had him feeling sick and he wanted to do something about it before he ended up throwing up. Walking into the bedroom, he flicked the light on. The bedding looked like there has been some kind of massacre and Eren sighed. He'd already binned one lot of bedding, and couldn't afford to bin this lot too. Instead he was forced to strip the bed and leave the window open while he made his way to the buildings basement and put the whole mess on to wash.

By the time he made it back upstairs, his legs were burning and the wounds on his hips had started to bleed again. He frowned when he found his door open and cautiously walked in. Levi was sitting on the sofa and Eren let out a groan  
"Where the fuck have you been?"  
It seemed so like an alpha to skip the "hellos" and "long time no sees". But still, Eren couldn't deny deep down he was ever so slightly happy to see the alpha   
"Staying with friends"  
Friends. Like plural. He was friends with Marco too... right?  
"You had me so fucking worried! You said I'd see you Monday! And then when I came to see you, the door was locked and you wouldn't answer and you dropped out of classes..."  
Levi's sentence was a rushed and concerned filled mess and Eren shook his head  
"Look, I'm sorry you were so worried, but you don't need to be. I'm alive and in one piece, so just leave Levi"  
Levi growled as he surged up, Eren could smell the anger on the alpha, his heart was pounding as it was   
"Why are you always like this!? Why do you keep pushing me away?! I know you fucking feel this thing between us!"

As reassuring as it was to know it wasn't all in his head, Eren forced himself not cave. Too many of his secrets had been coming out of late and he really didn't need more escaping   
"Levi. I'm sorry, but I don't feel anything like that for you, it's better if you just leave"  
The alphas eyes widened before narrowing and the cold iciness that filled them had Eren shivering as he found himself backing away, but Levi lunged and grabbed him by the upper arm  
"I'm not letting you run away anymore. Never in my life have I fallen for someone for fucking fast. You're in my head and I can't get you out kid"  
Eren whimpered as Levi's hold tightened, not giving a damn Levi pressed a hard kiss to his lips and Eren let out a heart breaking sob into the alpha's mouth  
"Please... please let me go"  
The alpha finally seemed to get it, pulling back Levi's eyes were filled with pain  
"I'm sorry... that was shit of me"  
Levi seemed to actually struggle with getting his hold to loosen and Eren let out a sob of relief when the alphas hand left his arm  
"I... I didn't mean to hurt you"  
"Please... please just leave"  
Levi shook his head and Eren felt himself being pulled into a hug, after a few moments, the man's hands slid down to rest on his hips and Eren let out an involuntary whimper  
"Eren?"  
Biting down on his lip, Eren stood stock still as the alpha pulled up the hem of his shirt  
"What the fuck happened? Did you do this?"  
Nodding miserably, he hoped Levi would leave, but the alpha didn't, he guided Eren over to the sofa  
"I'll grab the first aid kit, bathroom right?"  
Eren nodded silently. Levi was going to see... the alpha was going to know... why the fuck did he have to be so fucking weak?

Levi's fingers were gentle and soft as he cleaned down the cuts on Eren's hips, the alpha kept scowling at them so Eren closed his eyes as the man worked.


	9. Chapter 9

"There, its all done, but you might want to be careful next time you take a shower"  
Eren nodded, keeping his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see what kind of expression the alpha was making   
"Eren, I really wish you wouldn't hurt yourself like this"  
"And I really wish you'd stop making my business yours, but we can't always get what we want"  
Even though his words were low, he knew Levi heard him by the long sigh the alpha let out  
"You really are stubborn aren't you?"  
"Apparently"  
He'd expected the alpha to put the first aid kit away, but instead Levi moved to pull him up against him and despite how on edge the move made him, he still felt himself relaxing ever so slightly into the hold.

It was a small life time for the teen before Levi started speaking again  
"I know you say you don't feel anything for me, and I know you've had a shit run of late, but even so, throwing your education away would be a waste"  
Great, another alpha thinking he could lecture him. It wasn't like he didn't fucking know that, but he'd already missed nearly a months worth of college and even if he wanted to, there just wasn't enough hours in the day to catch up  
"Levi. Just don't. I can't deal with all this right now"  
"That's because you're trying to do everything alone. Those cuts tell me you're struggling, let me help you"  
"I don't need your help"  
"Really? So what, you were just going to leave them to get infected? What happens next time when you cut too deep and the blood doesn't stop"  
"Then I die"  
His tone was so resigned that even he struggled with the heavy sentence. Dying wasn't the ideal, not when he'd worked so hard to get to where he was... but the idea wasn't as unappealing as it should've been   
"Do you want to die?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. It's not like anyone's going to miss me"  
He knew his words were getting under Levi's skin, the alpha had tensed substantially and the hold he was in had tightened   
"What about your friends? The ones you were staying with?"  
Eren let out a light snort  
"Jean's in love with Marco, Marco's crazy for Jean. Without me sleeping in Jean's bed, Marco never would have been upset"  
"What do you mean sleeping in Jean's bed...?"  
Trust an alpha to focus on that one point and miss the rest  
"As in sleeping next to him... he wouldn't let me leave"  
Even without looking at Levi's face he could tell the alpha was frowning. He detangled himself from Levi's hold and pulled his shirt back down properly   
"Look. It really is better you don't get involved with me. I'm not fit to be anyone's mate and I probably never will be. So go find someone else and be happy with them"  
Eren pushed himself up off the sofa and finally opened his eyes, the world spun slightly but he still walked into his bedroom and laid down on the bare mattress with his back to the door.

Levi's smell still clung to him and the places the alpha had touched were warm, almost stupidly so... he couldn't let the alpha penetrate his defences further, yet he felt Levi moving closer, heard the man's footsteps on the wooden flooring and finally felt the bed dip next to him  
"I don't want anyone else. I don't know you, but I want to. It's not easy for me either, you're my student and you're also a good 15 years younger than me... but... can't you try and give me a chance?"  
"Levi you don't understand and you never will"  
"That's only because you won't talk to me. I know you probably think ever alpha wants to hurt you or is out to get you, but all I want to do is protect you"  
Eren let out a bitter laugh. Levi has finally snapped the last restraint, he shoved himself up and glared into the alphas eyes  
"Protect me? Protect me! What the fuck! Where the fuck were you when I actually needed protection!"  
To accentuate his point, he ripped his shirt off and turned his back to the alpha  
"Go on! Take a good hard fucking look! The last person who was supposed to protect me did this! He blamed me for my mothers murder! He raped me, abused me and then tied a fucking rope around my neck and dragged me along the street while tied to the back of his car! So go on! Fucking protect me!"  
Tears spilled down Eren's face and his chest heaved. It was the first time he'd told anyone about the scars, he knew Jean knew he had them, but never why  
"You got me locked up in a fucking mental institution! They locked me up in one when I was 15 because I said my father raped me! And you know what, because the treating doctor was a friend of my father's, dad gave him the go ahead to rape me to! He'd drug me so I'd be awake, I'd feel every fucking thing! But I couldn't fucking move! So you can take your protection and stick it up your fucking arse, because I was doing fine until I met you!"  
"Eren..."  
Levi's voice was soft and full of pain, the alphas fingertips ghosted over his scars  
"Don't fucking touch me! Get out! I don't want you here! So just leave me alone!"  
"Eren, this doesn't..."  
Eren let out a half hiccup/ half sob  
"It doesn't what? Change anything? If you truly think that then you're deluding yourself"

When the alpha didn't move to leave, Eren snapped future, rounding the man and shoving him off the bed   
"Go! I don't want you here!"  
He shoved Levi all the way to the door, forcing the alpha to leave. He felt so very raw and his throat hurt from screaming at the alpha. Levi's hand came to the doorknob, and the alpha looked at him with shimmering eyes  
"Please..."  
"Go"  
Levi opened the door and Eren slammed it behind him. He slid to the floor screaming and crying. His secrets... the secrets he'd kept... he hadn't been able to stop himself from telling Levi. The alpha was surely only humouring him out of pity... knowing he wanted to do something very stupid he grabbed his laptop off the sofa and opened his Facebook. The letters on the screen blurred as he typed an apology to the world for existing. It was so cliche it made him want to vomit. He dropped the device to the floor when he was done and clung weakly to the throw rug on the sofa, he couldn't stop sobbing, even if he'd wanted to.

*  
Warm hands held his face and Eren shook his head in denial. He knew it was Jean from the smell, but he didn't understand what the man would be doing in his apartment, or when he'd ever care. Tears still streamed down his face, and the throw rug did little to cover his back  
"Eren... hey... come on..."  
Eren just kept shaking his head  
"Marco, can you grab me a shirt from his room, we're going to take him back home with us"  
Way-to-fucking-go Eren. There you go again, ruining someone else's fucking life. Grisha was right all along... he really did ruin everything. He wanted to tell Jean to leave him alone, and Marco to not waste his time, but his throat was so sore and his tears wouldn't stop  
"Here, let's get this on you"  
He felt the alpha forcing him into a shirt and wondered if it was the one he'd been wearing when Levi arrived. Despite how he knew he looked on he outside, his mind was surprisingly clear. Never once in his 19 years had he ever done anything right.

He felt himself being lifted, but couldn't even object. Marco would be watching this all, he was hurting the omega, he knew he was... how could he not be. Jean had wrapped his arms around his neck and his forehead was against the alpha's neck. It felt so wrong to be this "intimate" with Jean when the alpha's omega was also in the room. He kept his eyes firmly closed and hoped he was dreaming it all.

He didn't remember getting to Jean's, or how he ended up in the alpha's arms. His face buried against the alphas chest as the man slept. God he was so fucking stupid. He carefully slipped from Jean's hold and stumbled from the room. Given that Jean's room was just off the living room, he stumbled straight out to find Marco sitting on the sofa and let out a small whimper. The omega had to be mad...

Marco smiled when he saw him, which only made Eren's stomach drop further  
"Hey, you feeling any better?"  
He didn't know what he was feeling  
"I'm... I'm sorry..."  
Marco's face fell   
"You don't need to be sorry for anything"  
It was too much. The omega was being too nice. Why couldn't he just yell at him? Call him out on being the slut he really was... he couldn't be here  
"Eren?"  
He jumped as he realised Marco had moved from the sofa, the teens hand out like he was going to reach for him at any second. Eren backed away, and Marco looked so hurt. Why couldn't he be normal? Why did he have to hurt everyone all the time?

"Please... please just forget me..."  
Eren turned and fled, he fumbled the lock on the door, and fled. He heard Marco first yell his name and then yell for Jean. He'd barely made it a few metres before he felt solid arms wrap around his waist and hoist him him  
"Let me go!"  
He tried to scream the words, but they came out strangled and Jean ignored him  
"Come on Eren, it's alright"  
He knew it was Jean's voice, but in his head it was his father all over again and he felt himself piss himself in fear. His face burned with humiliation, but Jean still carried him inside and through to the bathroom.

"It's alright Marco, I've got him. Why don't you try and find him something of yours that will fit"

He just wanted to be alone. To curl up and sleep. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone? He felt Jean strip him down, but he couldn't care. Everything was vague, like he wasn't really there and nothing mattered anymore   
"Eren, did you change your dressings?"  
He felt his lips move  
"Levi"  
"Levi changed them?"  
He couldn't answer, wasn't that one word enough? The sound of running water filled the bathroom and a few seconds later he was forced into the shower, with Jean keeping a firm hold on him the whole time  
"Here's some..."  
Marco's sentence fell short and Eren knew how it must look   
"Thanks. Can you stay, I'll need help getting him washed and then redressed"  
Eren's forehead rested against Jean's shoulder, the alpha was holding him tight against his chest like the fact they were naked meant nothing. Eren kept his eyes closed, they'd see everything...

"Eren, I need to help Jean clean you down, don't panic alright?"  
Marco's voice was so soft and gentle, like how a parent was supposed to be. Jean really had chosen a good omega to fall in love with. He kept his eyes closed the whole time, and Marco said nothing about his scarred body. Once the pair were done, the omega dried him down and helped him dress, then Jean carried him through to his bedroom  
"Can you keep an eye on him while I clean up the bathroom?"  
Marco must have nodded his agreement, as Eren's head was guided into his lap. The fellow omega hushed him, and given how exhausted he was, he fell back asleep with Marco's fingers in his hair.


	10. Chapter 10

It seemed Marco and Jean had been busy while he'd been sleeping. Eren awoke to find himself alone, but could hear the two talking softly outside the door. His head was throbbing and his eyes burning, he had the feeling he'd fucked up, but if he was honest, the previous day was a blur after he lost his cool at Levi. At the thought of the alpha, his chest began to ache and he buried his face into one of Jean's pillows, trying hard not to cry. He was surprised he even had any tears left to cry. He heard a door open, then close and the place went quiet. Now would be the time to leave, but his body felt so heavy and just couldn't move.

The next time he woke up, Jean was yelling something to Marco and Marco was yelling something happily back. He had no idea what they were so happy about, but he didn't wish to interfere and destroy the moment, so he stayed hidden away until the door opened  
"Eren? Are you awake?"  
The bed dipped and Jean's cool palm came to rest on his forehead   
"''m sorry..."  
Eren's throat was still tender and the short sentence left it burning  
"It's alright, we were wondering you were hungry? You didn't really eat anything when you were here and you haven't eaten anything since we brought you back yesterday"  
Eren shook his head and Jean sighed  
"Marco made chicken soup, he's seriously gifted in the kitchen. Your throat sounds sore, it might help"  
Eren could see what the alpha was trying to do, but he hadn't expected Macro to pipe up from the doorway  
"Is he going to come eat with us?"  
"He says he isn't hungry"  
Eren heard Marco sigh  
"I don't care if he's hungry or not, he really should eat"

Jean lifted him easily enough and Eren let out a small cry of pain, embarrassment and surprise all rolled into one  
"Sorry, you heard the man"  
"Does this mean you two finally told each other you loved each other? Or is it because you both hate me"  
Eren felt Jean tense and heard Marco cough, the alpha carried him into the living room and dropped him down onto the sofa slightly more forceful than necessary   
"I can't believe you told him"  
"I can't believe you haven't"  
Jean let out a sigh as he covered Eren with a thick blanket  
"Sit here and eat your soup. I've got to make sure Marco isn't upset"  
Eren hummed, but made no effort to move, Jean picked the bowl up and forced it into his hands  
"You better eat it all"  
The alpha left and Eren eyed the soup, he had to admit it smelt really good, and it tasted even better. He managed to slowly empty half the bowl in Jean's absence before placing it back down on the coffee table with shaky hands. He drew the blanket back around him and was dozing lightly when Jean dropped down onto the sofa with a sigh   
"Thanks for that"  
Eren hummed, not bothering to open his eyes  
"Eren, Marco and I did some talking while you were sleeping. Given you wanted to move, and given the fact that Marco is going to be up at his parents for the next month, he wants you to stay here while he's gone"  
Eren immediately began to shake his head and Jean nudge him   
"You... you can't say no. We kind of already moved all your stuff in"

Eren's eyes flew open and he looked to Jean, hoping it was a joke. Jean's face was serious and Eren felt like he was going to vomit the soup right back up  
"It's just for a month, while you find somewhere to live and... if I'm honest... I'm worried about leaving you alone in that apartment..."  
Eren clenched his fists   
"You had no right"  
"Probably not, but if seeing Levi gets you that upset, then isn't it better he doesn't know where you are?"  
Eren's anger shifted slightly to confusion   
"Levi?"  
"He changed your dressings, which means he had to have visited in the short time between Marco dropping you off and us picking you back up..."  
Eren didn't have a reply. He just shifted lower into the sofa cushions. It wasn't like Levi would care. Once the realisation of what he'd said to the man set in... the omega let out a small whimper   
"What is it?"  
"He hates me..."  
Eren didn't understand. He wanted Levi to hate him, to stay away... but saying those words hurt more than any cut ever had. His lip trembled and he looked to Jean sadly  
"I... I did something really bad... so I doubt he'll ever talk to me again"  
Jean didn't question what he'd done, he just guided Eren into his lap  
"Well, Marco and I don't hate you, and we'll help you get back on your feet"

 

*  
Living with Jean turned out easier than expected. The alpha never asked him what was wrong, or why he needed space or tried to smother him. He had, however, insisted that Eren sleep next to him on the nights he didn't have work, which usually mean laying in Jean's arms until the alpha fell asleep, and then slipping into Marco's room afterwards. Marco had only been around a few days before leaving and Eren could feel how much Jean missed him. 

Being out of his apartment has done more for his headspace than he'd expected, or maybe it was because he didn't want to drag Jean down into the depths of his self hatred. He wasn't good, but he he'd actually tried to eat lunch and dinner, which he was silently proud of himself of. Given he knew that eating a full meal would have him vomiting, he'd only have a couple of bites at a time. Jean could eat like a pig, and Eren was quietly envious. The man could devour a pizza and a half and then drink himself stupid, but wake up the next day ready to do it all over again.

Given it was Saturday night, Jean was scheduled to work, and for some reason the alpha had begged Eren to come with him. Eren didn't want anything to do with Underground in the slightest, but he felt he owed Jean and found himself agreeing, despite the unease in his stomach. He hadn't set foot near the place since that night, and was terrified of it. Even though Jean insisted that he was working the bar and Eren could just hang out at the end while he worked. Sliding the face piercings into place after so long felt uncomfortable and unnatural, even though Jean gave him a wolf whistle when he walked out wearing what had once been his favourite work outfit.

His heart was racing and he was struggling to remember how to breathe by the time they reached Underground, and Jean ushered him through the staff entrance and straight past everyone, finally forcing him to sit at the end of the bar. Eren couldn't help but glance around self consciously, half expecting Ivan to jump out and start screaming at him. Instead he found Jean grinning at him from the other side of the bar, a drink already poured  
"Liquid courage. Don't worry, it's only single shot"  
Eren nodded like he knew what that meant, he took the drink and Jean winked at him. 

Over the course of the night, he found himself relaxing, but that may have been the alcohol. A few alphas had come up and flirted with him, but Jean had scared them all away and Eren found himself smiling like an idiot at his friend. He wasn't stupid, Jean had his own certain attractiveness, and he scolded himself for thinking about the alpha that way. No, Jean was Marco's and that made him happy, but he couldn't deny that at that very moment he was feeling lonely. He slid from the stool carefully and looked up when Jean called his name  
"Eren! Where are you going?"  
He had to lean back onto the counter to reply   
"Bathroom"  
Jean's eyes widened  
"Give me a minute, I'll walk you"  
Eren hadn't thought to be scared, but the moment Jean mentioned walking him, he found himself terrified of the thought. Still, his friend kept his arm around his waist as he lead Eren carefully over to the bathrooms. A new sign warned people the halls outside were now monitored and Eren was relieved, but also a little angered. He pushed the door open and immediately walked to the counter, he leant heavily against it and let out a long breath  
"Are you alright?"  
Looking up, Eren could see the concern in the alphas eyes. He didn't know what to say, and Jean crossed the room to hug him close  
"It's alright, they're not here. They can't touch you"  
Eren nodded against his friend. Tears prickled at his eyes  
"Hey, you don't need to cry"  
Jean guided him up so he was sitting on the counter and stayed between his legs as the alpha reached and grabbed a paper towel  
"Let's get you cleaned up, then you can pee or whatever  
Eren snorted, he took the rough paper towel and dabbed at his eyes  
"Sorry... I... I didn't want to come tonight, and maybe I shouldn't have... I keep waiting for them to walk in... I can still feel them..."  
Jean nodded, his eyes more understanding than Eren had expected. More tears spilled out and the alpha took his face in his hands, gently wiping the tears away  
"I know, I was hoping it'd help in some small way... but I guess I was wrong. I can take you back home if you want?"  
Eren shook his head   
"It's fine. I just need a minute"  
"Sure"  
The alpha kept a hold on Eren's face, Eren sniffled slightly, trying to calm back down. Both men jumped when the door opened and Eren's eyes widened. Levi looked confused and hurt and angry as fuck and the alpha growled  
"Eren, do you know him?"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"Jean, this is Levi. Levi, this is Jean"  
Jean released Eren's face and Eren let out a small whine  
"Come on, let's get you back to the bar"  
Eren nodded and Jean helped him off the bench, given his intoxicated state, he tripped over his own feet and the alpha caught him easily. Once again Levi growled   
"Levi..."  
"Levi what, Eren?"  
Eren couldn't understand why Levi was so mad and Jean stood to his full height  
"Levi, leave him alone"  
"Why? So you can claim him? Eren's my omega. I've known it from the moment I saw him"  
"Levi! Jean has his own mate"  
"Then why was his hands all over you?"  
"Because Eren was crying. Or are you too self centred to see that?!"  
Both omegas were now stinking of anger and Eren whimpered as he sank to the floor. Levi rushed to kneel in front of him  
"Leave us alone"  
Levi's voice was firm, and Eren looked up to Jean and gave a small nod  
"Eren, I'll be at the bar. Levi, make sure you walk him to the bar. If you don't, I'll hunt you don't myself"

The door opened and closed a Jean left and Eren tried to take a few breaths, but fuck Levi smelt amazing and his body started responding despite the fear  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren jumped at Levi's voice, and nodded quickly   
"Sorry... Jean's not usually this bad"  
Levi shook his head  
"No, I'm sorry. I jumped to the wrong conclusions"  
"You kind of did"  
Levi gave him a small smile and Eren's heart skipped a beat  
"Do you think you can stand?"

Levi's arms came around his waist and Eren's senses were filled with the alpha's smell, causing him to slick further and he let out a small whine  
"Eren?"  
Looking at Levi, he could feel his face burning, his gaze dropped back down and the alpha looked away for a moment, before tugging him by the hand onto the closest bathroom stall. The moment the door closed, Levi's lips were on his and Eren whined into his mouth  
"I don't care if you put it down to being drunk, but god"  
Levi rutted up against him and his knee slid between the omegas legs, rocking gently as he claimed Eren's mouth desperately. Eren knew he should stop, he wanted to push Levi away, but the alcohol had stripped away his ability to refuse the alpha and he whined into Levi's mouth as he ground harder. 

Levi's hands came to tug on his pants and Eren couldn't even protest, he didn't even think to. He was drunk on Levi's touch, and moaned when the alphas hands finally slid into his underwear   
"God Eren, you're so beautiful"  
Levi's words were wasted on him, all he could think about was the alphas touch. He'd never felt anything like this. He felt Levi's hand slid back off his already leaking erection and let out a long whine   
"It's alright omega, I'm hear"  
The alphas breath was warm against his neck and Eren shivered in need, he felt Levi turning him and obeyed the alpha without hesitation. Behind him Levi's hands slid to massage and grope at his arse, the pressure right to be erotica and he felt his slick begin to roll down his thighs  
"Fuck Eren"  
His mew echoed as Levi's tongue licked at his slick entrance, the sensation had been so unexpected, he'd cum across the stall door, and still Levi insisted on teasing him further  
"You taste so amazing, so sweet, so perfect..."  
And yet the alpha had pulled back and Eren's intoxicated mind couldn't figure out why until he felt the blunt tip of Levi's erection rubbing against his loose and twitching opening  
"Let me know if you want to stop"  
Eren shook his head quickly and gasped as Levi began to sink inside of him. His eyes rolled back and he found himself pushing his hips back so the man would sink in faster. Levi's moan only spurred on his need to be fucked senseless by the alpha and he rocked his hips, hoping Levi would he the message.

It was only seconds before the wet sound of Levi slamming into him echoed in the bathroom, along with their pants and moans, Eren's toes were already curling in anticipation and his fingers desperately tried to find some kind of purchase on the door, as Levi thrust into him over and over until his knees could barely hold him up. He mewed again as Levi's knot began to swell and drove in so hard that Levi's hold on his tender hips was the only thing holding him up. A second orgasm hit midwave and he felt Levi pulsing as he came inside him, his own third orgasm for the night had his eyes slipping closed and drool running down the side of his mouth. Levi pulled him back with him, until Eren was sitting limply in his lap and the alpha nuzzled his neck  
"God, that... fuck... you're amazing..."

When the euphoria had passed and he realised Levi was firmly knotted inside him. An alpha firmly knotted inside him, in the same bathroom... he couldn't stop the tears or the panic. He tried to move from Levi's lap, but the pull of the knot had him whimpering and Levi wrapped his arms around Eren's waist  
"Shhh my love. You're safe..."  
Eren just shook his head as the tears fell. He felt so scared, he needed Jean, Jean would know what to do. He sobbed silently in Levi's lap until the alphas knot had gone down enough for him to escape. He stumbled forward, awkwardly pulling his pants up as he went. He needed to get out of there.

He had no idea that Levi was following him, but Jean came running from behind the bar the moment he saw him, practically launching himself forward to wrap his arms around the terrified omega  
"Shhh... Eren, you're alright. Come on, deep breaths. You! What did you do to him! Don't tell me..."  
"It was consensual, he was fine until I knotted him... I know you don't know me, but I love Eren. I wouldn't have slept with him if he hadn't consented"  
Hearing Levi tell Jean they'd just fucked made him feel like a slut. He whimpered softly   
"Eren, is he telling the truth"  
Eren nodded weakly against Jean  
"You're lucky he says it was. But stay clear of him, he needs space at the moment and time for himself"  
"Eren, I'm sorry..."  
"Levi, just go. I'm taking him home for now. You should go home to"

Jean kept a firm hold on him as they left the Underground, the ride back to Jean's was quite and the alpha helped him inside. Eren couldn't even look at Jean, but the alpha said nothing about Levi and he was grateful for that. The omega fell into his bed, and Jean sat on the edge  
"You can't fall asleep with all those fake piercings in"  
Eren rolled over with a groan, his thighs and arse were still sticky and he desperately wanted to shower, but it seemed like too much effort. He jumped when Jean pulled the first fake piercing off  
"We'll take these off and then you can go to sleep"  
Eren nodded and Jean carefully removed all the piercings. Once done Jean let out a sigh and tugged Eren's boots off for him  
"Will you be alright if I go back to work?"  
Eren nodded as he yawned, his whole body felt numb, but his mind was full of Levi, when Jean went to stand, he reached out and grabbed the alphas arm  
"Jean... do you think I'm a slut?"  
Jean did something unexpected, he leant in and pressed a kiss to Eren's forehead  
"No, I don't think you're a slut and you shouldn't either. It's clear Levi's your alpha, I could feel it the moment you two looked at each other"  
Eren nodded again, he was so tired that his next words came out mumbled  
"I... don't... want him to hate me..."  
He felt Jean tug out of his grasp and then the heaviness of his blanket being put over him  
"Eren, he most certainly doesn't hate you"

*  
Waking up the next morning, Eren's body was drenched in sweat and his body filled with an aching need that he didn't understand. He staggered from his bed and out into the living room, the whole world was spinning and fine tremors ran though his entire frame. Scared and confused, he knocked on Jean's door, the smell of the alpha was so tempting, but he didn't know why and that only compounded the confusion.

Jean answered the door sleepily, mascara and eyeliner were smeared across his face, but the signs of sleep soon disappeared and his eyes widened instead  
"Eren!"  
Half falling, Jean caught him easily and the alphas hand came to his forehead  
"You're burning up"  
"Jean... I feel funny..."  
He heard Jean take a deep breath in through his nose   
"Shit. Eren, you're in heat..."  
He was in heat? This didn't feel anything like his first and wasn't it too soon to be in heat again. He let out a whimper as his stomach cramped and Jean lifted him easily, carrying him the few steps to the his bed and carefully laid him down, Eren immediately curled into a ball, his arms crossed over his stomach as he let out another whimper   
"It hurts..."  
"I know..."  
Eren could smell Jean's arousal in the air and his body cried out to be touched. Between his legs was growing wetter by the minute and his underwear was sodden with slick and semen  
"Eren, stay here for me. I need to call Marco and see if he has any suppressants"  
Eren wanted to nod, but instead he whined yet again, forcing one arm to release his stomach and grab for Jean   
"Alpha... it hurts"  
Tears rolled down his cheeks and Jean hushed him gently  
"I know, that's why I need to call Marco before I loose control and do something you'll regret"  
Eren shook his head  
"Don't leave..."  
Jean hefted a sigh, but didn't reply and Eren squirmed trying to get some friction against his throbbing erection. He was too far gone to even feel embarrassed when his hand slipped down and began to rub through the fabric of his jeans. He mewed at the sensations, and his whole body shook with the need to cum, it only took a few seconds for him to be so close, but he just couldn't cum. In the background he could hear Jean talking and wanted the alpha to hurry up and touch him. His hand slid up and he fumbled his jeans undone before sliding his hand down into his underwear and jerking himself harshly. He was so very close and mews and pants poured from his lips  
"Shit Eren. Hold up"  
It was a few seconds before he felt the alpha tugging down his jeans and Jean rolled him onto his back  
"Marco doesn't have any suppressants here, but he does have toys you can use..."  
Eren shook his head, they weren't what he needed  
"He also gave me permission to help you with your heat... Eren I need you to focus... do you want me to help you? Knowing that means sex or do you want me to leave. Or option three is I track Levi down for you"  
Without the confines of his jeans, Eren's hand was free to move much more easily and he shook his head  
"Alpha..."  
"Eren! You need to answer me"  
Pushing down his underwear the best he could, Eren spread his legs and heard Jean growl in response. He moaned as the alpha pulled off his underwear and felt Jean's breath against his erection  
"You should start to calm after you've cum"  
Eren nodded and the bed dipped as Jean moved away  
"Alpha?"  
"It's alright omega, I'm here... just need to grab a condom"  
The idea of being knotted and not filled had him whimpering in shame. His omega felt like it was a rejection and he let out a sob  
"Shhh... it's alright... here..."  
Jean's hand came to his thigh and squeezed firmly, the bed moved again and Eren felt his legs being moved by Jean  
"It's alright, you'll feel better soon"

His back arched as Jean pushed in, his body was upset and confused why it wasn't Levi, but the feel of the alpha inside him still had him mewing. It didn't take Jean long to have him cumming and Eren had no way to describe his orgasm, it was like he literally couldn't stop cumming. The alpha hushed him as he fucked him hard Eren's whole body went into overdrive with every touch. He screamed as his body weakly convolged when Jean knotted him and the painful aching need back to subside  
"Eren?"  
He hummed in answer, unable to do much else and Jean leant into kiss his lips. The alphas mouth was so warm and welcoming the he couldn't help but deepen the kiss. He pouted as Jean pulled back and looked down at him smiling   
"You feeling better?"  
Eren nodded and Jean moved to nuzzle his neck, rocking his hips as he did and Eren let out a breathy moan  
"God Eren. You have no idea how beautiful you are"  
The omegas chest tightened and Jean continued to nuzzle against him  
"When I heard you'd had sex with Levi, I was so jealous... I know he's your mate and he loves you, but I think I've fallen for you as well..."  
Eren frowned, his senses were slowly calming and he finally found his voice  
"But Marco..."  
"I know... but I can't help it, I love both of you, and it's not fair on either of you"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm not worth loving"  
Jean moved to take Eren's face into his hands and pressed a deep kiss to Eren's lips  
"You are. You really are"  
Jean pulled back and buried his face yet again in the crook of Eren's neck, while Eren did the same to the alpha, he sniffled as the tears fell not knowing what to say or do. They stayed like that until Jean's knot lessened and the alpha pulled out.

"I'm going to call Levi, he's the one who should be here for you"  
Eren shook his head  
"You don't even have his number and I doubt he'd want to see me..."  
The alpha sighed deeply  
"He waited last night, even though he didn't know if I was coming back, he waited at the bar because he wanted to make sure you were ok. I have his number..."  
To hear that Levi was concerned and still wanted to see him made his heart leap, the idea of his alpha wanting him pleased his omega side more than he could say  
"I'll call Levi now, and you can shower while I do, we kind of made a bit of a mess"

Jean carefully supported him into the bathroom and close the door when he left. Eren turned the shower taps on before sinking down onto the shower floor. The aching need had filled him again and he weakly tried to finger himself to orgasm, but the feeling just wasn't the same and he whimpered in need. He had no idea how long he stayed on the shower floor, only that he couldn't move, even if he'd wanted to.


	11. Chapter 11

Eren smelt Levi the moment the alpha walked into the bathroom. He let out a weak mew and felt the taps turn off before strong arms lifted him easily   
"I've got you"  
Levi's voice was soft and gentle and Eren immediately nuzzled into his the man's neck, breathing his scent in and whining in need  
"Come on"  
Eren kept his arms wrapped firmly around Levi as the alpha carried him into his room. Levi growled as he lowered him onto he bed and moved to claim his mouth possessively. It was a completely different feeling to what he'd felt when Jean had kissed him, he wriggled and moaned, arching up to try and grind against the alpha in desperate need. When Levi broke the kiss Eren tried to kiss him again, but the alpha moved away  
"You need to take this, its a suppressant, it'll help bring your heat back under control"  
The pill was placed into his mouth and Levi forced him to drink from a bottle of water, the moment the bottle was gone from his lips, Levi claimed another kiss and Eren came just from that alone.

When Levi pulled back, Eren rolled over, his instincts told him to present himself for his mate and Levi growled in clear appreciation   
"My perfect omega"  
He wanted the alpha to shut up already, the ache in his stomach was already painful enough to have him crying all over again, but Levi didn't make him wait and slid in easily, not even waiting for him to adjust before moving. Eren's fingers clawed at his pillows, the alpha had him leaking cum down his legs and he cried with every thrust in. It was nothing like having sex with Jean either, this was so much more on so many different levels. When Levi came he felt the warmth of the man's semen, he clenched down desperately trying to milk every last drop form the man. His own orgasm had him cumming so hard he felt like he'd pissed himself and Levi immediately pulled him down sideways and spooned up behind him, still rocking his hips slightly as he peppered Eren's shoulders with kisses.

Unlike with Jean, the need to be knotted again flared immediately and he whined as he ground back against the alpha, Levi nodded against him and continued to rock, but slid his hand down to take Eren's erection and jerked him in time with each partial thrust. The man's knot hadn't even fully receded when Levi began to fuck him hard all over again, the feeling of being so full left him feeling deliriously warm and happy. He'd never felt anything like it before. Once again Levi held him close as the man's knot tugged gently inside. It felt like he couldn't possibly be any fuller and he practically purred in contentment   
"Eren, I love you"  
Levi's words were full of sincerity and without even realising he tilted his neck and offered it to the alpha. Levi lapped at his nape   
"Are you sure?"  
If he'd been capable of rational thought he would have said no, but they were both drunk off each other's pheromones and arousal that he gave the slightest nod and Levi's teeth sank down into his nape. He screamed as he body tensed and he came again, he felt Levi filling him further and his eyes rolled back. The alpha had such a firm grip on his hips that Eren could only let the man twitch and pulse deeper inside of him. The happiness he felt was still on his face as he passed out in Levi's arms.

Despite the suppressant, it was still another few hours before it kicked in. Levi had brought him apart over and over and the alpha still greedily continued to devour him. Eren was sure he had nothing left to give, his erection ached so badly that it was nearly to tender to touch and Levi seemed to have a think for his nipples, both red and painfully over stimulated. He passed out again in Levi's hold, the alphas hand protectively over his stomach like the man was hoping their union would result in children, more than once Levi had nuzzled and kissed his stomach, repeating how proud he was that Eren was so full of him. But given that they'd given him a 6 months contraceptive shot after being raped, Eren highly doubted the alpha would get his wish.

The next time he awoke, the suppressant had finally kicked in and he whimpered as he slid off of Levi's spent erection. The alpha woke immediately, his eyes full of love and concern  
"Are you alright?"  
No. He really wasn't. His emotions were a all over the place and his body ached so badly, the worst bit was feeling Levi's semen leaking from him. His omega was proud his mate had claimed him so much, but the feeling brought back the memories and in particular the bathroom memories and it felt like the blood that had run down his legs after the alpha had forcefully pulled his knot out. A small sob escaped and it wasn't long before he dissolved completely. Levi tried to hush and calm him, but Eren's fragile mentality was beyond reasoning. He staggered from the bed and fell to the floor in pathetic heap  
"Eren!"  
Levi lunged to climb down after him, but Eren whimpered and tried to crawl away  
"No... no... no... don't touch me!"  
"Eren, its Levi. You're alright, no ones going to hurt you"  
Eren shook his head as he sobbed, he could feel those alphas touching him and let out another heartbreak sob  
"Eren, hey, come on, talk to me?"  
"L-leave me alone..."  
He had to work to force the words out and he buried his face against his knees   
"I can't leave you alone, not now, not like this"  
"P-please... I-I'll be good... just... stay away..."  
Levi swore and Eren heard the alpha moving  
"Jean!"

It was a few minutes before Eren felt Jean come into the room  
"What happened?"  
"The suppressants finally kicked in, now he won't talk or look at me"  
"It's alright Levi, he just needs a shower and to get some sleep"  
Jean's voice was soft and Eren jumped when the alphas hand landed on his shoulder  
"Eren? It's Jean. You're safe, you're at home. You don't need to be scared"  
"He's... he's scared of me?"  
Eren wanted to say no, but he was scared of everyone at the moment   
"No, not you, he's still scared of those alphas. He says he can still feel them on his skin"  
Levi let out a growl and Eren shrank back  
"It's alright. Levi won't hurt you, in fact he's going to help you clean up while I change your sheets"  
Jean's touch was replaced by Levi's and the alpha lifted him easily, carrying him from the room and soon Eren found himself back in the shower, this time with Levi supporting him. The alpha was so very gentle as he washed Eren down, and Eren could do was cry on his shoulder. Levi nuzzled his neck gently and let out a heavy sigh  
"I hate to see you like this... I love you Eren, I really do"  
Eren nodded against him, not sure why though. Levi's fingers gently moved across his scarred back and Eren shook under the touch  
"Please don't"  
Levi nodded  
"Alright, but you know, even with these scars you're beautiful"   
The single string that had been keeping Eren awake and upright snapped and fell heavily against Levi.

*  
When he woke up, his head was in Levi's lap and the alpha was playing gently with his hair  
"Hey, how are you feeling?"  
"Sleepy"  
"I noticed. I've got to leave soon, so it was a good thing you finally woke up. There's some suppressants on the bedside table, you need to take one each morning for the next 4 days"  
Eren nodded as he forced himself up  
"I'm sorry... I... I wasn't supposed to go into heat..."  
Levi smiled as he shook his head  
"I looked it up while you were sleeping. It's common when someone presents so late and when you're stressed, which I'd say you are. There's nothing to be sorry about"  
The aching in the back of the omegas neck hand him moving his hand to rub at the back of his neck. It was like an electric shock had zapped him as his fingers brushed against the bite mark  
"L-Levi... wha-what is this?"  
Levi pulled him closer and the alpha let out a small groan  
"I marked you... fuck... Eren... I'm sorry. I didn't... I mean of course I wanted you to wear my mark... fuck..."  
Eren shook and he pushed Levi back  
"Can... I need you to go"  
Levi didn't object  
"I understand, but Eren, even if it happened by accident, I'm still proud to have you wearing my mark"

When Levi was gone, Eren curled back up on bed with his heart pounding. He'd told the alpha everything and still Levi had marked him and the alpha had come and helped soothe his heat... he didn't know what to do, and pulled the blankets over his head, acting like the responsible adult he was by shutting reality out.

It didn't take Jean long to come and see him, the alpha laughed softly at Eren's hiding form  
"Are you going to come out?"  
Eren shook his head, knowing Jean couldn't see, but the alpha pulled the blankets back anyway and Eren hid his face in his hands  
"You smell different"  
The omega wasn't sure how to take Jean's words and peaked out from between his fingers   
"Probably because Levi marked me"  
Jean pulled his hands down and the alphas eyes were wide  
"He did what?!"  
Eren nodded and presented his marked neck to his friend   
"Holy Fuck! Eren... I didn't know he'd go that far... are you alright? Do you need anything?"  
"I don't know what I am..."  
"Well I can tell you right now, it'll be a cold day in hell before I let him step foot in here again. I would never have called him if I'd thought he'd go that far"  
Jean's voice was bitter, full of self blame and something else, but Eren shook his head  
"It's... it's fine... he apologised and then left when I asked him too... I'm really sorry I went into heat"  
Jean shook his head  
"No, it's fine, you couldn't help it. You're probably exhausted, so get some more sleep and I'll let you know when dinners ready"

Eren burrowed back down in the blankets, his hand coming to rest on the back of his neck. No one had wanted him since his mother died and he still couldn't believe Levi did. He had no idea what happened now, he was Levi's, he'd always wear the alphas mark but... as far as he remembered he hadn't bitten Levi so the bond wasn't complete. This whole omega thing was so confusing and wouldn't Levi go into rut over him being in heat? Or did alphas get suppressants too... he wondered if Jean would tell him... but then again the alpha was probably hurting more than he was showing... especially seeing what Jean had said when they'd been in bed together. At least with Levi's bond, it meant the alpha would definitely chose Marco. 

His thoughts shifted and he sighed, he didn't want to hurt Jean any further after everything he'd done for him, which probably meant he needed to move out sooner rather than later. He really needed a job first though, and made a mental note to start looking online once he'd gotten some more sleep.

Jean woke him up a few hours later, the alpha passed him a suppressant and Eren swallowed it down with the last of the water from the bottle Levi had given him. His whole body ached and he shuffled from the bedroom to the living room feeling like an old man, wincing as he sank down onto the sofa  
"Dinner will be here in a minute. Do you want some panadol? You look like you're in pain"  
Eren nodded gratefully and Jean left the room. It was funny how he could just accept the pills given to him by the two alphas so easily, he never could have done that a few months ago.... maybe things had been changing slowly for the better under everything and he didn't know it...

Jean brought him a new bottle of water and the blister pack, leaving him when the doorbell rang. Eren popped two pills out and downed them quickly and Jean soon returned with pizza boxes in his hands  
"I didn't know what you'd feel like and you can't go wrong with pizza"  
Feeling like he should at least make an attempt, he tried to smile and joke  
"I think you just want to make fat"  
The alpha nodded and Eren frowned, his tiny appetite disappearing instantly   
"Eren?"  
Realising he was chew on his lip, the omega shook his head quickly  
"Sorry... I'm just still sleepy"  
"Well you can go back to sleep after you've eaten"

He choked down a slice and half before it threatened to come back up and he abandoned the half piece back to the box, he could feel Jean's eyes on him and felt guilty that he just couldn't eat it  
"Jean.... do you know anyone hiring? I mean, I can't live here forever and..."  
The and went without saying, Jean's face fell slightly  
"Maybe, I'll ask around for you. What are you thinking?"  
"Probably nightfill... I don't want to work in another club and we both know I have pretty shitty people skills"  
The alpha snorted  
"Nah, you're fine. It's society that's not. Maybe Marco will know?"  
Eren nodded and his hands moved to play with the hem of his shirt nervously  
"Is... is Marco ok... I know how much he loves you..."  
"Yeah, he's fine. He understands, I've slept with him before when his heats have gotten really bad"  
Involuntarily Eren let out a small "oh" and when Jean gave him a questioning look, he quickly shook his head  
"And you don't need to rush to move out. Neither of us are going to let you end up in some shit apartment because it was the first thing that came up"  
"It's probably better I do... I don't want to make things even more awkward"  
"Things are fine. I promise"  
"But you said..."  
"I know what I said and I meant it..."  
The tone made it clear the conversation was over and Eren closed his eyes. This was a bigger mess than Jean seemed to want to admit and he'd caused it all  
"I think I want to go back to sleep..."  
Jean gave a nod  
"Will you be alright?"  
"Yeah"

Alone in his room, Eren sat with his back against the wall and had stripped off his sweatpants. Small love bites littered the inside of his thighs and he shook slightly with the thought of how much of a slut he must have seemed. As the tears formed he reached over and opened the bedside draw, finding the balled up tissue that housed his half rusted razor blade. He took a few breaths, before placing it to his inner thigh and starting to cut. The familiar peace filled him and he left his mind go blank. Levi would probably be mad, but this was his life, not the alphas. He placed half a dozen cuts on both sides before wiping the blade over and wrapping it again, placing it inside the draw carefully. So much had happened and so much was changing, he was struggling so hard to keep up and he had no idea why he kept fighting when its be so much easier to let go and let the current wash him away.


	12. Chapter 12

Eren had applied for a few jobs, he'd had to finally replace his phone and realised he hadn't missed it at all. Most of the things he'd applied for got no reply, and the ones he did get a reply for were sorry "but he wasn't exactly what they were looking for", and he couldn't help but feel shit.

The other issue was that Marco was due home in just under 2 weeks and he still hadn't found anywhere to move to. Jean insisted it was fine, but Eren didn't feel like it was fine at all. The cuts on his legs were only growing worse by the day and he was so tired all the time. 

Laying on the sofa, he was checking his emails while Jean was out, he'd looked at some online courses, but couldn't really decided on what to do. He liked books and he liked reading, that's why he'd opted of English. But community colleges were substantially different from the curriculum outline of Trost College and he was almost tempted to ask Levi for help. They hadn't spoken since his little mini-heat, but Eren hadn't stopped thinking about him. He pulled out his phone and eyed it with a sigh. Jean had given him Levi's number "just in case". He unlocked it and pulled up Levi's contact details, his thumb hovering over the man's name and then opted to send a quick text  
Eren: Hi  
He went to erase the message ended up sending it, scolding himself as he started to panic.

He held his breath as he waited for a reply  
Levi: Can I help you?  
The omega let out a snort, feeling the tiniest tiniest bit relieved   
Eren: It's Eren  
Given he didn't know what to say, or how to explain what he wanted to ask, he left it like that.  
Levi's reply was almost instant  
Levi: Why didn't you just say that from the start? Are you alright?  
Eren felt the knot in his stomach lessen further, but there was still that little voice in the back of his head. He worried he might be annoying the alpha   
Eren: Yes. Sorry. It doesn't matter.

A few seconds his phone began to ring and he jumped. Levi's name was showing on the caller ID and Eren's nerves came back in and he rejected the call, staring at the device like it was the enemy. His phone dinged with a message saying he'd missed a call and then again when Levi messaged  
Levi: Eren? What's wrong?  
Feeling like he'd done something wrong, he bit down on his lip. Forcing out a breath as he placed the device down next to his laptop. He curled into a ball on the sofa and buried his face against his knees. He'd fucked up. He was sure of it.

*  
A loud pounding on the door had his heart racing, he rushed to answer the door while trying to calm his racing heart. Opening it he found a very worried Levi on the doorstep and before he knew what had happened, the alpha had pulled him into a hug  
"Thank god you're alright"  
Levi felt so very warm and Eren found himself unable to break the hug  
"Sorry... I didn't mean to bother you"  
The alpha shook his head  
"Lets go in and you can tell me what you wanted to talk about"

Even once they'd moved to the sofa, Eren found that Levi insisted on holding him against him. The man's thin fingers gently carded through his hair. It was like the alpha was trying to reassure himself he was real  
"So what's up?"  
Eren was almost embarrassed to say, he took a deep breath  
"I wanted to ask your advice for something... but then I was worried I was disturbing you"  
"You could never disturb me and you can tell me anything. I want you to know that"  
Eren nodded and reached for his laptop, it would be easier to show Levi. He opened chrome and placed the device in Levi's lap, letting the alpha take control  
"Community college?"  
Eren nodded  
"It's not quite Trost"  
"I know... but I can't..."  
"You could"  
Eren tensed and Levi must have realised his mistake   
"But for now, what are you thinking?"  
Eren pointed to the third tab and Levi clicked on it  
"Historical English?"  
Eren nodded   
"I... I was wondering what you thought of the course content"  
Levi hummed and Eren waited for the alpha to put him out his misery. What he didn't expect was the laugh the man let out and Eren couldn't help but feel Levi was laughing at him. He snatched the laptop back and closed it  
"Sorry. It was a stupid idea"  
He pulled out of Levi's hold, escaping towards his room, and as he expected Levi followed  
"Eren, it's not a stupid idea"  
Eren bit his lip again and looked down  
"But you laughed..."  
"Oh! That's because I know the man who teaches it, he used to work at Trost"  
Eren looked up and Levi nodded  
"He's a really good lecturer. And it's a good solid course outline"  
Eren felt a little better but not completely relieved  
"If you're that unsure, we can go talk to him... though I have to warn you his eyebrows are fucking huge"  
Eren placed his laptop on his bed and sat down next to it  
"Eren, I'm really sorry you thought I was laughing at you. I just couldn't believe Erwin would be teaching you. And you'll understand when you see his eyebrows"  
"It's ok... it's my fault for being a screw up... but... I'd like to talk to him if it's really alright"  
"We can go now? It's a little early, but it'll be fine. If we're lucky we can sneak in"

*  
Sina Community College was a bright and somewhat jumbled looking facility. "Modern Art" was dotted across the the sweeping green grass and Eren was surprised that Levi knew where to go. The alpha lead him confidently across the lawn and into an older styled building with gorgeous stained glass windows and the smell of books hit his nose. He found a small smile tugging on his lips and Levi sighed happily  
"I really love this building, it makes me wish Trost hadn't decided to demolish its older ones. Modern buildings have no souls"  
Eren bit back the comment sitting on the tip of his tongue. Levi's house was so modern and clean.

"The rooms 5-7"  
Eren nodded and looked at the doors as they passed, they were older styled with a small rectangular window set off centre and Levi looked through  
"Here, take a look"  
Peaking through the window, Eren's eyes widened, the man's brows seemed to have a life of their own and he darted back as Erwin looked towards the door  
"They're like fuzzy yellow caterpillars"  
Eren nodded and both men jumped when Erwin yanked the door open and stuck his head out. The man's scowl softened  
"Levi! I didn't know you were coming! Come in, you're just in time to listen to me butcher Alighier"  
Levi laughed and Eren was drawn to how relaxed the man seemed  
"Only if you let Eren come join us. He's thinking of taking your class"  
Erwin looked him up and down and Eren tried to smile  
"There's two empty desks down the back, but I better not catch you passing notes"  
The alpha snorted to himself like he was actually funny and Levi placed a hand on Eren's shoulder, guiding him into the classroom and to the back row. It was more like high school than he'd expected, and he slipped into the seat nervously. People were still whispering about the disturbance and Levi moved his seat so they were sharing the same desk. Levi's found him under the table and Eren felt like they were doing something wrong, but the man held it tight and the next half hour was filled with Erwin's smooth voice as he read from Inferno.

Levi continued to hold his hand as the class ended and Eren tried to pull it back, but Levi just gave him a look   
"It's fine. Trust me"  
Erwin closed the door after the last of the students left. The tall alpha strode easily down to the second back row before taking a seat at the desk in front of Eren's   
"So, how was it"  
"Rubbish. You should be banned from talking about Alighier, let alone reading his works"  
Erwin gave a hearty laugh  
"Eren, you should do yourself a favour and ditch this one before you turn old and bitter just like him"  
Eren scrunched his eyebrows in confusion  
"It's fine, Erwin's just joking because he's too stubborn to admit he's jealous"  
The turn in conversation had Eren shifting uncomfortably  
"Any way... Eren, you're interested in taking this class?"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"He was in my English lit class at Trost, but had to unenroll due to shit"  
Erwin nodded slowly  
"You know, you're being one of those annoying parents. Eren is capable of answering for himself"  
Eren struggled to find his voice, but was relieved the conversation would now be with him and not about him  
"Yes... I looked around before asking Levi for his advice"  
"And you've read the course guide?"  
Again Eren nodded  
"And most of the works listed"  
Erwin let out a small whistle   
"That's pretty impressive. Most people just enrol in my class to sleep their hangovers off"  
"That's because you're boring"  
Erwin kicked out at Levi's shin and Levi scowled at the man  
"The new semester doesn't start for another 6 weeks. But I don't see the harm of you coming by and sitting in. It'd be nice to have a student who actually listens"

Eren couldn't believe it was all this easy. He knew for a fact he wasn't supposed to be on campus as he wasn't a student or a lecturer   
"Are you sure?"  
"Erwin wouldn't offer if he wasn't"  
Levi squeezed his hand again and Eren jumped not expecting the gesture  
"There is one tiny catch"  
Eren's enthusiasm dropped instantly   
"You'll have to use the second hand books we keep here to catch up and they aren't the best"  
Levi snorted  
"He can use my copies"  
Erwin's eyes widened  
"Wow, he really must like you if he's letting you read from his private collection"  
"Of course I fucking like him. He's my omega"  
Erwin smacked himself in the forehead  
"Of course! You're that Eren! It's nice to finally meet you"  
Eren looked to Levi   
"You told people about me?"  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
Eren shifted his chair back, his heart was pounding and he felt tears prickling his eyes. The idea that Levi had talked about him fucking hurt. He had no idea what the alpha said... it was entirely possible that Erwin knew his past and this was just some pity party   
"Eren?"  
The omega yanked his hand back from Levi's   
"I'm sorry... it was nice meeting you Erwin"  
Levi grabbed his hand again as he tried to leave   
"What's wrong?"  
"I don't need your pity"  
The tears finally spilt and he sniffled as he once again pulled his hand from Levi's hold. The alpha looked genuinely confused and Eren walked out the door, before breaking into a jog down the corridor and practically fell through the doorway.

He was so hurt and angry at Levi. Jean only knew about the alpha because he had to. And Eren didn't know anything personal or embarrassing about the man. He didn't know anything at all. Miserably he began to stride across the campus until he finally made it to the bus stop at the front of the building. He sank down and buried his face in his hands. Levi and Erwin were probably laughing at him right now.


	13. Chapter 13

"Eren!"  
Eren jumped at the sound his name, and rose his head slowly to find Erwin making his way towards him. He wiped his eyes, knowing he must look really pathetic to the man right now. He was somewhat surprised when Erwin sat down next to him   
"You alright? You took off pretty fast"  
The omega sniffled  
"Sorry... I must look like a total idiot"  
"Nah, trust me, I've made lots of students cry, just not usually so fast"  
Eren tried to give Erwin a small smile  
"So, you're Levi's omega. I never thought he'd find someone"  
"It's... complicated"  
"I can tell that much already. Can I ask what upset you?"  
Eren sniffled  
"It's stupid..."  
"If it was stupid you wouldn't be this upset and Levi wouldn't be sitting in my classroom looking just as bad as you"  
Erwin's words felt like a stab to the heart  
"He's worried?"  
"Of course he is. You took off and he didn't know why. He wanted to come look for you, but I made him wait"  
Eren nodded   
"It's just... I... some shit happened and hearing that he's talked about me..."  
Erwin let out a long "ah", before continuing   
"Yeah, that was my bad. Do you want to know what he's said?"  
Eren nodded quickly, it was like a bandaid right? Better to rip it off fast...  
"First he asked me what to do when you think your mate is a student. That moved to "how do I talk to him without him thinking in crazy". Then he told me what you looked at, he said you had the most incredible green eyes he'd ever seen. We were at the Underground that night with friends, he didn't tell me what happened though. I put two and two together on my own and I haven't told anyone about it. So you don't need to worry about that"  
Eren nodded slowly and tried to stop the tears running down his face   
"Thank you"  
"It's not my business to be prying into"  
The fact the alpha respected his privacy helped to finally end the tears, he looked back towards where Levi would be waiting  
"How am I supposed to go back now?"  
"Well, we can walk really slowly and you can tell me about the books you've read that are on the list"  
Eren nodded and Erwin helped him stand  
"I'm sorry... it just felt like this was all out of pity"  
"Normally I wouldn't let someone sit in, but I owe Levi a favour or two"  
Eren nodded and fell into step with Erwin   
"He said you used to work together"  
"Yep! But that was a few years ago now. He's a good man, despite his love of obscure authors"  
"He does seem anti mainstream, but I don't really know anything about him"  
Erwin stopped  
"I'm not surprised. He's always been the kind to keep to himself. It got pretty bad after his best friends died, I didn't think he'd ever find anyone he'd care about... things might not be perfect or ideal between you and I don't know your past, but you might just find he's a much nicer person than he seems"  
Eren nodded, making a mental note that Levi's friends had died.

The rest of the walk was talking about Inferno, given that the verses Erwin had read were stuck in his head. He'd asked to borrow books from the school rather than Levi and Erwin had joked it was probably safer that way. The man was a little weird, and he was still wary about him, but he wasn't completely unpleasant.

Walking back into the classroom, Eren was confused to find Levi organising Erwin's desk and Erwin just shrugged   
"Well, he passed the test and he'll be sitting in as of next week, I can email you the schedule for him right?"  
Levi nodded, but Eren sensed the hesitation in the movement   
"Eren, I'll see you Monday and Levi, you better treat this kid right. He's a special one"  
That seemed to be the queue to leave and Levi moved to Eren's side  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded   
"Yeah. Sorry. I just freaked out a little. We should go now"  
Levi's fingers brushed against his and the alpha loosely took his hand. Eren didn't pull away and they left Erwin to his work.

They didn't talk until they were both in Levi's car and Eren let out a shaky breath  
"Are you sure you're alright? Erwin didn't say anything did he?"  
"No... he's a good guy, eyebrows and all. Thank you for arranging this"  
"It's fine and I'm sorry. I upset you before right?"  
"It doesn't matter now"  
"Please, it matters to me"  
"It's just... you know some of my past and when you admitted talking about me..."  
Levi let out a groan  
"Eren, I would never ever repeat the things you've told me without your permission"  
The omega nodded quickly   
"I know... Erwin told me about what you said and asked him"  
Levi looked a little awkward and it was kind of refreshing. Most of the time the alpha looked so composed   
"So what books do you need to borrow?"  
The alpha started his car and Eren shook his head  
"I don't know yet"  
"Well, when you do you can borrow whatever you like"  
He didn't want to annoy or upset Levi so nodded. He was grateful when his phone started to ring and fished it out to find it was Jean  
"It's fine, you can go ahead and answer"  
Eren slid his thumb across and Jean's concerned voice filled his ear. Quickly he explained he was looking into a course and had just been at the campus. Jean calmed immediately and made him promise he'd call if he needed a lift. He hung up after barely a minute  
"Everything alright?"  
"Yeah. Jean was just worried"  
"He's a good friend?"  
"Yeah... I thought he was a total arse, but he's actually pretty alright"  
"That's good... I'm happy you aren't alone anymore"  
"It's only for a a little longer, his omega, Marco, has been away so I've been using his room"  
Levi hummed  
"You know, you could just move in with me"  
Eren winced at the man's words  
"Eren, its fine. I know this isn't easy for you, but the offer is alway, always opened and I hope one day you'll take me up on it"  
Eren swallowed hard at the sincerity in Levi's words  
"Are you hungry?"  
It took the teen a few seconds to realise the alpha had jumped conversation again  
"I'm sorry, I don't really eat much"  
Levi hummed again  
"How about we go out for lunch, I'm starving, and I know it's not exactly lunch time, but think of it as a celebration for getting into Erwin's class"  
"You do realise I'm not actually a student there"  
"Minor details"

The restaurant Levi took him to was ridiculously perfect. Eren literally couldn't find any fault at all. The alpha seemed to be a regular and it felt like every staff member had swung by the table at least once to give him the once over. Not sure what to order, he let Levi order for him. The wait wasn't too long and they were served some kind of chunk stew with thick slices of "rustic" bread. He wasn't sure how it'd go, but it was really good and he managed most of it and half a slice of bread. They didn't talk much during the meal, and Eren wasn't sure if Levi was mad that he didn't know what to say. He tried to pay for his share, but Levi refused and then promptly told him not to feel so guilty.

Levi dropped him home, the alpha stole a quick kiss and Eren felt warmth flood through him. Despite his mental protests, he couldn't deny he was hopeless hooked on Levi's warmth  
"Thank you for today"  
His tone was almost shy and Levi cupped his face in his hands   
"If you need me, no matter how trivial it seems to you, call me or message me. If it's from you I'll always answer"  
"I don't want to be a burden"  
"And I don't want you to think you are, when you never will be"  
The alpha leant in and kissed his again, Eren felt like he was melting from it and had to push Levi away  
"Sorry"  
The omega shook his head quickly  
"It's fine... but I should go"

Climbing from the car, Eren's fingertips came to his lips, they were still warm and he forced himself to turn back and close the car door. Part of him wanted to climb back in, but he didn't want to take any more of Levi's time up. He gave the alpha a small wave and turned back to make his way back to where Jean would he waiting to question him.

*  
Jean wasn't as mad as he'd thought he'd be. Probably because he'd kept his clothes on this time and was happy that Eren had managed to get a free preview of the course ahead of time. Still, Eren could tell Jean was slightly bitter about him being with Levi for the afternoon and Eren couldn't handle it. Today had been a roller coaster of emotions, and having to leave the house left him dead tired. He slipped from the sofa and into his room, toeing off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. His phone pinged and he pulled it from his pocket   
Levi: Hope Jean wasn't too mad, and I hope you're getting some rest, you looked pretty exhausted. I'll let you know when Erwin emails me. Rest well brat xx

He wasn't sure about the brat bit, but it didn't hurt. It was kind of very Levi in its own way and the two kisses are completely unexpected. He didn't know what to say so locked his phone and put it on charge before stripping off and climbing under the covers.

*  
Apparently Levi couldn't just forward him the class schedule. The alpha had printed it out, including the course outline and some of his own notes and pointers he'd added to the pages. The two were pouring over them when Jean arrived home and Eren cursed himself. He knew Jean didn't want Levi in the place, but there the alpha was  
"Hi Jean, Levi was just going through the course outline with me. How was work?"  
"Shit like usual. I was going to head straight to bed, unless you need anything?"  
Eren shook his head  
"It's fine. You look dead on your feet"  
Jean gave a wave as he disappeared and Levi watched the alphas door close  
"He doesn't like me does he?"  
"He just worries, especially after you gave me your mark so suddenly"  
Levi nodded  
"Yeah... that was pretty shitty of me... I just couldn't help myself... a bit like not being able to help myself in the bathroom stall... I don't know what it is, but when I'm with you, I swear I turn into a babbling idiot"  
Eren blushed at the mention of the bathroom and his penis gave a half twitch. Without the alcohol he stared to panic slightly   
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah... sorry... where were we?"  
Levi took the hint and began to explain what each item meant again.

Eren found himself enjoying listening to the man's smooth voice, and found himself learning quite a fair bit. It was clear Levi knew the subject matter quite well and Eren wanted to ask him why he'd chosen to teach such a field, but every time he built up the nerve Levi would move onto another topic and he couldn't quite get the words out. The alpha stayed until he was sure Eren has a good grasp on the concepts discussed and Eren found himself saddened when Levi finally stated it was time for him to head off. 

It was almost like Jean had been waiting for Levi to leave. The alpha came out the moment Eren closed the door and the omega tried to push down his feelings of guilt   
"Levi's gone now..."  
Jean nodded and moved to sit down on the sofa, before grabbing the course sheets that Levi had been explaining to him. Eren moved almost nervously to sit next to the alpha and waited for Jean to say something. He watched Jean's face carefully, but the alphas frown stayed out as he skimmed the paper  
"Are you sure this is what you want to do? It looks really boring"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"The lecturers actually a friend of Levi's, and he wasn't that hard to talk to... besides Levi explained things really well and I feel like I've already got a good grip even though I'm not actually a student yet"  
Jean placed the papers back down and let out a sigh, Eren's stomach dropped, knowing what was coming next and rushed to apologise  
"I'm sorry, I know you don't want him here... but we really were just talking about the course"  
"Eren, the only reason I don't want him here is because I don't want you to get hurt. When it comes to him you seem to lose all rationality"  
Eren frowned  
"He... he's not that bad. He didn't have to help me but he still did"  
Jean's hum was full of disapproval and Eren didn't know what to say. There were a few very painful minutes of silence before Jean continued   
"Look. I know you have his mark and all, but I still worry and care about you. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret later"

Jean may have meant well, but the words hurt. The alpha didn't seem to trust him at all and Eren found himself pushing up from the sofa  
"Thanks"  
His tone was full of hurt. Jean had told him that he could see how much Levi cared for him and that they were clearly made for each other. Even if he didn't want to be with Levi at the very moment in time, and even if Levi left his emotions and body all confused, it was up to him to decide how to proceed. He stalked into his room and closed the door slightly harder than necessary before climbing into bed and burying himself under the blankets. 

Jean didn't bother knocking before entering, instead the alpha crawled straight under the blankets with him and Eren found himself pulled into a hug. He didn't want to be hugged, he wanted to be alone and the smell of the alpha only seemed to make him even more confused  
"I didn't mean to be a dick"  
"I know"  
"And I really do only want what's best for you"  
"I know"  
"Eren, I just worry about you"  
Again Eren replied   
"I know"  
And Jean let out a sigh  
"If you know, then why do you keep doing things that only hurt you in the long run? What am I supposed to say the next time Levi hurts you?"  
"You don't have to say anything"  
"But I do. I'm the one who's been there for you... I'm the one who's trying to help you... what's he done for you? He fucked you in the bathroom you were raped in and he took advantage of your heat to force his bond onto you. You can surely see where I'm coming from"  
Eren wriggled out of Jean's hold  
"Jean, please just get out. Levi really was just helping me today, and I don't want to hear this from you"  
Jean's eyes narrowed   
"Fine. But don't come crying to me when he hurts you"  
The alpha slid from the bed, crossing the room and slamming the door behind him. Eren winced as the door closed. Nice fucking going.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I even still writing this... it took a complete left turn and I bet you've all gotten sick of it...

The next few days were suffocatingly tense. Jean seemed to be doing everything he could to avoid him and Eren felt like he shouldn't even be in the alphas home. He'd packed up all his things and had been trying desperately to find somewhere to go, but without a job no one was keen to give him a lease.

Monday was harder than he'd expected. Despite knowing Erwin... kind of... and despite having a good grasp on the course, all the what ifs had had him tossing and turning all night and by the morning he'd made himself physically sick with worry. Given how far Sina was from Jean's, he'd to catch a bus and nearly threw up on the driver as he fumbled for the right change.

Walking onto campus, he kept his head low and he tugged at the sleeves of his long sleeve shirt. He'd cut to try and help calm down, but as always, the effects were fleeting and now he just had a dull ache in both wrists. His body only seemed to grow more leaden with each step and by the time he made if to the classroom he was practically dead on his feet. He managed to give Erwin a small smile when the alpha arrived, the man shuffled through the bookcase next to the rooms blackboard and drew out a very battered copy of something, before crossing the room and sitting on his desk  
"Here, we're continuing on with Inferno today"  
The book slipped from Eren's hold as he went to take it from Erwin and the alpha frowned  
"Are you feeling alright? You're as white as a ghost"  
Eren nodded quickly  
"Just nervous..."  
Erwin seemed skeptical, but stood and picked the book up anyway, before placing it on the desk  
"If you feel sick or it all gets too much, feel free to take a nap or just walk out. I'm not going to be mad, especially when I already want to send you home so you can go back to bed"  
Eren nodded, he felt like a fucking fool for not being a stronger person. His fingers scratched at the cut marks on his right forearm and the feeling of the blood on his fingers had his stomach rolling. He swallowed down the nausea and wiped his fingers on his jeans before opening the batter volume. He didn't understand why people felt the need to deface a book that was supposed to be used by other students. Some pages were torn, some drawn over completely and some were dotted with mysterious stains.

A siren rang out to mark the start of class, and Eren flicked his gaze up to find there was only 8 or 9 others in the room. Erwin still proceeded like it was normal and the next hour and a half seemed to pass in no time. The omega found a lot of things that Levi had said were identical to what Erwin was saying now and felt a tiny bit of warmth spread through his chest. Jean might be right, but it did seem that Levi cared in his own way.

Once class had finished, Eren waited unsure if he should just leave. He took his time skimming the book until Erwin came over to him  
"That wasn't so bad now was it?"  
"No... it was really good"  
The alpha let out a loud  
"I think you're the first person to ever say that. Were you able to keep up alright?"  
"Yeah, Levi went through the course guide with me and made sure I understood it all... it was kind of funny hearing you say much the same things he did"  
Erwin nodded  
"I'm not surprised. You can borrow that tonight if you want, and bring it back for tomorrow"  
"Thank you"  
Eren slipped the book into his bag and went to stand. The world span and he would have fallen if Erwin hadn't caught his arm  
"Shit. Here, sit back down"  
The omega allowed himself to be gently guided back into the chair and took a few deep breaths. Well he tried to, he knew this sensation all too well and desperately tried to swallow down the vomit that seemed intent on coming up  
"Hold on"  
Erwin left his side and returned just in time to thrust the rooms metal bin under his mouth as Eren lost the battle and vomited. His whole body shook and his face burned with embarrassment. Erwin waited a few minutes before asking if he was feeling alright  
"Sorry..."  
"It's fine. You couldn't help it. Do you have someone picking you up or did you drive?"  
Eren shook his head  
"No, I caught the bus"  
Erwin nodded  
"Unfortunately I can't give you a lift home, but I can call someone if you need?"  
"Its fine. I'll be fine..."  
"Are you sure?"  
Eren nodded and began to gather his things again  
"Yeah... I'm really sorry for causing you trouble"  
"Trust me, this is nothing. Take your time, I've got a meeting but just let yourself out when your ready"  
Eren mumbled a small thank you and Erwin moved back towards the front of the class. The omega closed his eyes and heard the door open and then close. He really had no idea how he was going to make it back home, he didn't want to wind up throwing up on the bus and Jean was out of the question. He waited a few more minutes before slowly standing, his legs felt weak but he still forced himself from the room.

He'd barely made it to the door before the world started swaying again and was forced to take a few deep breaths before trying to continue on. He made it outside and headed to the shade of the nearest tree, sinking down and placing his head against his knees as he tried to calm himself down, he'd done this to himself, so he had no excuse for sooking over it. When his phone started to ring, he winced at the loudness of the tone, answering it so he didn't have to listen to it's stupidly happy and loud tone. He placed the device to his ear  
"Hey, how was class? Erwin wasn't mean to you was he?"  
Levi sounded slightly worried and Eren could only mumble out the alphas name  
"L-Levi..."  
"What's wrong? Did something happen?"  
Levi had flicked to full concern mode  
"I... don't feel very good"  
"Where are you? Are you at Sina?"  
"Mhmm"  
Eren frowned as the phone slipped from his hand. He wanted to pick it up, but he just couldn't move. His body felt too heavy and every part of him ached. He wondered if he had a fever, but thinking hurt to much and he closed his eyes and leant his head back against the tree.

*  
Somewhere someone was calling his name. He tried to concentrate, but he was just too tired  
"Eren! Come on, open your eyes for me"  
The omega let out a small groan  
"That's it, now just open your eyes for me"  
Levi had no idea how hard Eren was trying too, but his body was screaming at him to fall back to sleep and he let out another small groan  
"Ok, lets get you out of here"

Being lifted made the throbbing in his body worse. He whimpered as the alpha held him close, he already felt hot as it was, but Levi's hold was stifling, he wriggled lethargically in Levi's hold and the alpha hushed him softly.

Waking up in Levi's hold was entirely unexpected, he had no idea where he was or how long he'd slept for, but it was the first time a long time he'd woken to actually feel somewhat refreshed. Levi had his face against the omegas neck and small shivers danced through his body with each warm sleepy puff of breath the alpha let out. He watched Levi's face as the alpha slept on, Levi had ridiculously long eyelashes and his skin was so soft that it seemed almost inhuman. Eren held his breath as Levi shifted and grey eyes flickered open, a small smile gracing the edges of the alphas lips  
"Enjoying yourself?"  
Eren bit down on his lip, now Levi was awake he wasn't sure what to do or say  
"Are you feeling better? You've been out of since yesterday"  
The omega frowned  
"I remember being really sleepy"  
"And scaring the shit out of me. I called to see how class went and you were completely out of it. You dropped the phone mid conversation"  
Eren shook his head  
"Sorry, I can't remember"  
"It's alright. I took the liberty of bringing back to my place, and fixed up your arms"  
Eren bit harder on his lip and Levi moved his hand to his face  
"Don't do that. You don't need to be scared. I'm not mad, concerned but not mad"  
"Sorry... I should probably go home"  
"Or you could let me cook you something to eat. I already called Erwin yesterday and said you probably wouldn't be in today. He said you were sick yesterday"

Eren let out a groan as the memory came back  
"I got myself all worked up, that's why I couldn't sleep..."  
"That sounds about right. I'm surprised Jean let you out like that"  
Eren frowned at the alphas name  
"We aren't talking"  
Levi finally pushed himself up and Eren missed his warmth immediately  
"Is it because I was there the other day?"  
"Yeah... he worries too much and he doesn't trust me with you"  
"I can't say I blame him... my track record hasn't been that great"  
Eren slowly pushed himself up, wincing at the twinge in both wrists  
"It feels like he doesn't trust me... we haven't talked since then and it's just so tense at home..."  
Levi nodded  
"How about we eat some breakfast and then I'll take you home and you can talk to Jean properly. I don't like seeing you so upset so early in the morning"

Eren blushed when he stripped back the blankets and realised Levi had also cleaned up the cuts on his inner thighs, the alpha caught him staring and Levi crawled back onto the bed  
"Eren, I know you've suffered, but I wish you wouldn't punish yourself like this... I used to be the same, I used to do stupid thinking to feel something, but it scares me so much that you'll take it too far. I really wish you'd rely on me more"  
Eren shook his head  
"You... you know I can't..."  
"I know you think you can't. But no matter how hard you push me away, I'm staying"  
Eren shook his head again  
"Can we just go?"  
"I'm not letting you out without you having something to eat. You look a lot better but I'm worried your anemic from how much you cut. So let me feed you"  
Levi climbed back from the bed, once again, Eren found himself staring at Levi's arse and thighs before blushing. He couldn't deny Levi was gorgeous and completely out of his league. The alpha threw his pair of pants to him  
"I washed them yesterday when it became clear you weren't waking up anytime soon"  
Eren nodded and scrambled to pull them on, once again wincing from the pain in his arms.

Levi made omelettes for breakfast, it was clear the alpha knew his way around the kitchen. It smelt amazing and Eren's stomach rumbled in response. Levi tactfully said nothing as he placed the plate in front of the teen  
"Coffee, tea or juice"  
Eren felt awkward as fuck and shook his head  
"Juice it is"  
Breakfast was silent and Eren enjoyed as much of the omelette as he could. He finished most of it and Levi seemed pleased  
"If you lived here I'd make you breakfast every morning"  
When Eren didn't reply Levi didn't pursue the conversation further. The alpha put their dishes into wash and Eren found himself wishing he could stay a little longer, but knew the alpha had to have neglected his own life to take care of him. Levi found Eren's school bag for him and then lead the teen towards the front door. The alpha pulled him in for a kiss and Eren couldn't help but feel this was the most perfect morning he'd had in years.

*  
Jean was sleeping on the sofa when Eren snuck in. Empty beer bottles laid scattered around the alpha and Eren felt sick at the sight. He dropped his bag and began to clean up, blaming himself for the fact Jean had gotten so drunk. Everything he seemed to do seemed to be wrong in some way, and someone always seemed to get hurt even when he didn't mean it. He really couldn't stay here... he couldn't let Jean waste his time on him anymore.

He carried the empty bottles into the kitchen and winced at the sound as they landed in the bin. Behind him he heard a very sleepy  
"Eren?"  
And jumped guiltily  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you"  
The alpha walked towards him and Eren tried to take a step back, but the counter prevented his escape. He tensed as Jean threw his arms around him  
"I was so worried... where were you?"  
"With Levi"  
Jean tensed and his hold tightened  
"Jean, you're hurting me"  
"I can't believe you! I warned you about him..."  
"Please don't"  
"Please don't what? You didn't even text or call!"  
"That's because I was sick. I passed out and Levi looked after me"  
Jean released him from the hug, before grabbing him by the shoulders  
"He didn't do anything to you did he?"  
"No... he made me breakfast and then drove me back..."  
"Are you sure? You said you passed out"

Eren's perfect morning was shattered. Jean had well and truly seen to that and he couldn't help the tears that formed  
"He didn't... why can't you just be supportive? He's already apologised over and over, and I don't think he ever meant to hurt me"  
"You can't be sure... I mean... you were abused right!? How do you know that's not affecting what you..."  
Jean's sentence was cut off by Eren slapping him across the face  
"Just stop it! You don't know anything about me! I'm just a charity case you took in! Levi knows! And no matter how many times I've pushed him away he still comes back!"  
"That's because you have his mark!"  
Jean's eyes were cold and his grip painful. Eren whimpered but Jean didn't seem to care  
"Why do you keep doing this!"  
"Because I fucking care about you!"  
"Well stop it! No one fucking asked you to! I was fine! I was surviving! And then you came along and threw everything into chaos! I don't know how to act! I don't know how to have friends, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't treat me like you do!"  
Jean gaped  
"You really don't understand at all do you"  
The alpha leant in and forced a kiss to Eren's lips as Eren tried to push his away, the omega could feel the cuts on his arms opening, but kept trying to push Jean off, instead the alpha stepped forward, rutting up against him and Eren let out a sob. With his mouth opened, Jean slipped his tongue into Eren's mouth and Eren whimpered, he wanted to bite down, but Jean had done so much... he didn't want this... but he owed the alpha so much. Jean released his shoulders and Eren tried to run, finally breaking the forced kiss  
"Eren, don't you understand how much I care for you"  
"If you cared you'd never do this"  
The alpha froze and Eren finally was able to put some distance between them  
"I know I can't pay you back for everything you've done... but I can't be here with you like this. I'm sorry"  
Eren ran over to the door, grabbing his bag from beside it. He yanked it open and kept running. Tears streamed down his face. He'd never thought Jean would go so far. The alpha had admitted to loving him before... but Jean had Marco...


	15. Chapter 15

Eren had no idea what he was supposed to do or where he was supposed to go. People stared as he walked the streets with tears rolling down his face. This is what trusting people got you. Fucking hurt.

He walked until he couldn't walk anymore and found himself eventually sitting in a damp disgusting alley as he cried his eyes out. Why'd it all have to come to this. He winced as he pulled his shirt sleeves up, blood had seeped through and the red was in stark contrast to how white the bandages were. He'd ruined Levi's hard work... Levi would be mad... he had no idea how the alpha could seem so loving, especially to something like him. He didn't deserve any kind of love, after all he hadn't been able to save his mother and his father had beaten the fact he couldn't save her into him day after day for years until the man had gone missing. He unwrapped his wrists and stared at the blood, small trails ran through the smeared mess and he sobbed harder. In his pocket his phone kept ringing and he wanted to throw the stupid thing against the wall. Eren stayed there curled up in a ball of misery until he couldn't cry and longer. Pulling his phone out he wiped at his eyes, 15 missed calls from Jean. He groaned in disgust, he couldn't bare the idea of talking to the man. He needed help, he couldn't continue on like this anymore. With no one else and out of choices, he called Levi. The call rang out and Eren let out a cracked sob. Levi had said he'd always answer... the alpha had lied. He looked down at the device as the screen lit up with Levi's name. His thumb hovered before finally answering   
"Hey you! Miss me already?"  
Eren sniffled into the phone  
"Can you come get me..."  
The line went silent for a moment and Eren wondered if Levi was mad  
"Where are you?"  
"I don't know..."  
He could practically see Levi frowning   
"You aren't at home?"  
"N-no... I can't go back..."  
"Ok... can you see any street signs? Or any landmarks?"  
Eren sniffled and wiped his eyes again, he looked across the road and squinted to make the words out  
"I'm... I'm across from the a place called Survey Cafe..."  
"Ok, I'll be right there"  
Eren ended the call and smacked his head back against the rough brick over and over, he was so stupid. He shouldn't have fought Jean, if he'd just given in... 

Eren was still curled up in a ball when Levi arrived, the alpha pulled him up and Eren dissolved against him. His body wouldn't stop shaking and yet Levi held him close  
"Can you walk?"  
Eren nodded against him and the alpha loosened his hold, before briefly letting him go and picking up Eren's bag, but soon again his arm was around Eren's waist as he supported him to the car. Eren felt like he needed to explain, but he struggled to catch his breath   
"It's alright, I'm here and I'm taking you back to our house"  
The word "our" brought a small choked sob from his lips   
"I... I don't want to feel like this anymore"  
Levi nodded   
"It's alright"  
The alpha buckled his seatbelt for him and placed Eren's bag in the footwell before closing the door. Levi didn't pry on the way to "their" house. The idea of having a home to come home to was scary. The idea of trying to let Levi in, and let the man break down even more of his carefully constructed walls was terrifying and by the time they arrived at Levi's he was so upset and confused that he was just numb.

Levi guided him inside, keeping his arm firmly around the teens waist as he guided him through the house and into a stupidly white and pristine bathroom. It looked like it'd never been used. The alpha sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and Eren stayed still as Levi pushed his shirt sleeves up gently  
"I really think I should have taken you to a hospital, there are bleeding pretty badly"  
Eren shook his head, he'd heard Levi's words, but was too numb to do much in the way of protest  
"It's alright, I know you don't trust doctors. It might hurt a bit, that alley was filthy. Do you want to shower first? It might be easier and that way you don't have to worry about wrapping them later"  
Eren nodded and Levi moved from his line of sight, the sound of running water filled his ears and the alpha reappeared   
"Do you want me to help?"  
He shook his head and Levi sighed  
"Alright. Go ahead and shower, I'll wait outside..."  
The omega reached out and grabbed Levi's arm without really knowing why  
"Do you want me to stay?"  
Eren felt himself nodding   
"Ok. Let's get you out of these clothes and cleaned up"

Eren barely felt the warmth of the water against his body. He washed himself mechanically, paying little attention and wasn't even sure if he was properly clean when he stepped out. Levi promptly wrapped him in a thick black towel and guided him back down to sit on the edge of the bath, before using another towel to dry his hair and face  
"What happened to your shoulders?"  
Eren shrugged and Levi went back to gently drying him down, before placing his arms in his lap and turning them so the cuts were clearly visible.

Levi worked carefully, Eren could see the man wiping the cuts down, but barely felt it. It seemed to take forever before the alpha had finished both his arms  
"We need to change the ones on your legs, I didn't even think to tell you to take them off before you showered"  
Eren spread his legs, beyond caring that Levi could see everything. Nothing really seemed to matter and he wondered if he should care about that fact. Levi pulled the dressings off carefully  
"These ones had bled, but for the most part they look alright"  
The teen said nothing and Levi carefully redressed his legs. Jean would be furious if he could see Levi like this. The thought had him crying silent tears, even though he didn't realise. Once Levi was done, the alpha moved to pull Eren against him  
"I promise that things will get better and I'll do everything I can to make sure they do"  
Eren nodded against the man, Levi's warmth finally beginning to melt the icy hold on his body.

 

*  
Laying in Levi's bed, Eren was laying with his head on the man's chest. They hadn't spoken since laying down, and Eren was still shaking slightly. Levi was rubbing circles on his back, seemingly content to just hold him. Why couldn't Jean just be this nice? Eren felt no sense of arousal from Levi, just worry and something else he was afraid to call love. If he'd only allowed himself to be that tiny bit selfish than he wouldn't have had to fight with Jean and he wouldn't have lost two friends in the process. The idea had him sniffling and Levi finally broke the silence   
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
Eren sniffled slightly louder and shook his head  
"I don't want to make you mad"  
Levi pressed a kiss to the top of his head  
"You won't make me mad"  
"You don't know that"  
"I know a lot of things, and I know I couldn't be mad at you"  
Eren gripped Levi's shirt tighter  
"You don't even know me"  
"I know enough. I know that you always think you've done something wrong, and that you overthink everything and would rather be hurt than hurt others. I know that you're beautiful, even when you cry and I know that I want to spend every moment I can with you"

Levi's kind words had him shaking harder  
"I don't understand how you can be so nice"  
"I'm only nice to you"  
Eren raised his hand to wipe at his eyes  
"I had a fight with Jean"  
"About me?"  
"Yes and no... he was mad I was with you... and convinced you'd done something to me"  
The alpha let out a "Tch" of disgust and Eren nodded  
"He... he says he loves me... and forced me to kiss him... he... he wanted more... but I couldn't... I can't go back... I can't ruin his life anymore than I have..."  
Levi tensed with Eren's last sentence  
"Eren. You've done nothing wrong. You are your own person and Jean is his own person, you are not responsible for his life"  
"But he..."  
"But nothing and I'm not letting you go back there"  
"All my stuff..."  
"Stuff is just stuff. We can buy you new things and you said something before about his omega coming back?"  
"Marco... he'll be home next week"  
"When Marco comes back we can go back and pick your stuff up"  
Eren nodded, relieved he wouldn't have to see Jean alone, but his whole body was on edge from the anger coming from Levi. He closed his eyes against and tried to push the feelings of discomfort aside and Levi's hand slid across to hug him tighter  
"We'll work this out together"  
"Thank you"  
Levi pressed another kiss to the top of his head and Eren let himself drift off in the man's arms.

It only seemed like seconds before he was awake screaming. Levi was trying to grab hold of him, but Eren was too scared. He wasn't used to having someone soothe him so soon after a nightmare, even Jean rarely did so anymore. He heaved huge breaths in and Levi's hands some how came to take his face firmly   
"Eren. Look at me"  
Eren shook his head, but in Levi's hold he couldn't help but we forced to stare at the alpha  
"Deep breaths. In and out. In and out... that's it..."  
Eren was still shaking and his heart racing as he regained control of his breathing   
"That was some wake up kid. Wanna tell me about it?"  
The pleading look in Levi's eyes had him spilling the words from his mouth  
"It... it started... as a memory..."  
Levi nodded quickly   
"About?"  
"Wh-when mum died... but... but then... it changed to Jean... he.. he was holding me down... and..."  
Eren sucked in a breath, Levi would understand what he meant   
"we were next to her body and she turned her head to look at me and and she said this was all my fault"  
The second half the paragraph came out in one long sentence. He wasn't even sure Levi understood him, but the alpha released his face and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and hushing him gently   
"It's alright, it was just a dream"  
Eren shook his head  
"When... when mum was murdered... it was just me and her... dad was off at work... she tried to protect me..."  
Levi let out a low "fuck"  
"They stabbed her over and over... before letting turning on me... one of them kicked the shit out of me and I'm sure they thought I was dead... they left me laying in the kitchen and I kept thinking if I could make it to mum she'd be alright... I... I can still feel how warm her blood was and sometimes I see it on my hands even when it's not there..."  
Levi nuzzled against Eren's neck and Eren kept his face buried against Levi's shoulder, his chest heaving again as he tried to explain  
"Dad found us like that... but it'd already been a few days by then... mum was dead before she even hit the floor... I kept trying to wake her, but her eyes just kept staring past me"  
Eren felt his stomach roll and shoved Levi away, he barely made it off the bed before falling to his knees and vomiting. Levi came up behind him and rubbed his back as he hacked and choked, his stomach kept tensing and he couldn't stop himself from vomiting again. He whimpered as he slumped against Levi and the alpha lifted him easily, placing him on the edge of the bed. Levi opened the bedside table and Eren was confused when the alpha pulled out a packet of wet wipes, but soon Levi had wiped his face and hands down  
"I am so sorry you had to go threw that and that you had to relive it... but thank you for telling me"  
Despite the fact Eren felt gross, Levi kissed him on the forehead   
"I love you. Why don't you lay back down and I'll clean this up"  
Eren nodded and crawled back into bed. Despite being smaller than him, Levi's track pants still slid down slightly as he moved and he hastily crawled under the covers. With the events of everything, he just couldn't stay awake, but his heart was still racing as his eyes slid closed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just made my first ever attempt at lemon curd... ended up with a few tiny flecks of white.
> 
> Also finished school for the next 3ish weeks... I had a scholarship interview tooooo... it was all good until I opened my mouth and then it was a trainwreck

Levi insisted on buying him new clothes and Eren felt guilty over how much the man spent. The alpha seemed to be hellbent on making sure he had everything he could possibly need, including his own toothbrush in the bathroom. The alpha also insisted on driving him to Sina and picking him up after class, Erwin always seemed to have praise for Eren, though the omega was certain he didn't deserve it or know what the alpha was even talking about half the time. The days until Marco returned seemed to fly by.

Standing at the front door, Eren was half hidden behind Levi. The alpha had refused to let him go alone, even though Eren had tried to summon up all his courage to do so. As Levi knocked, Eren's heart sank and he jumped when the door finally opened  
"Eren!"  
Looking up, he saw that Marco seemed genuinely happy to see him and he hoped that meant Jean wasn't home, given Levi didn't know who Marco was, Eren made the introduction   
"Marco, this is Levi. Levi, this is Marco"  
The two men shook hands and Marco ushered them in  
"I feel like I missed so much! I was so angry that Jean hadn't told me you'd moved out"  
Eren nodded, unsure what to say  
"That's why we are here. The move was kind of unplanned and we were hoping to grab his things"  
Marco nodded   
"Your stuffs still in the bedroom where you left it. I'm so happy your alpha seems so nice!"  
Eren frowned slightly and Marco laughed  
"It's obvious from looking at you two. I hope he's as nice as he seems"  
Eren nodded slowly, feeling extremely self conscious  
"He has his moments"  
Marco laughed again  
"I'll grab the box"  
The omega left and Eren looked around. He found his laptop smeared with pizza grease and he didn't even want to know what and Levi growled  
"I'm going to fucking kill him"  
"Kill who?"  
Levi looked to Marco  
"Jean of course! I suppose he isn't here"  
"No, he had some things to take care of at Underground"  
Levi growled again and Eren grabbed at his arm  
"Please... let's just go"  
Marco looked so confused that it hurt  
"I'm sorry Marco. Thank you for everything..."  
"It's fine Eren... but is everything ok?"  
Levi opened his mouth and Eren nodded  
"Yeah... it's just Levi and Jean don't really see eye to eye... I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was moving, I had wanted to find a place of my own, but this sort of happened..."  
"It's fine. But if you ever want to chat or hang out, please message me. I know we didn't live together very long, but I still like to think we're friends"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"Me to"  
Levi moved to grab the box and Marco pulled Eren in for a hug. It was a little awkward as Eren didn't want to drop his laptop, but he was grateful the omega didn't seem to mad.

Levi carried his things down to the car, the alpha frowned at the box the whole time  
"Are you sure this is all?"  
"No... there was more... but I mainly wanted my laptop... though I'll need to buy a new charger for it"  
"I don't see why we couldn't tell Marco the truth"  
"I didn't want to hurt him. He's such a nice person and he deserves to be happy"  
"There you go again, being too nice for my own good. At least let me sock him one if we ever see him again"  
Given how unlikely that seemed, Eren gave a small nod and Levi grinned like he'd won the round.  
The alpha placed the box in the back of his car and then took Eren's laptop from him   
"I might have a charger that'll fit this at home"  
Eren nodded and climbed into the car, he pulled his phone out and deleted Jean and Marco's numbers, it was better this way. 

*  
Levi took the liberty of cleaning his laptop for him, Eren had shut himself away in the alphas bedroom after arriving home and when Levi brought the device in, he'd thought the alpha was going to tell him it was dead. Instead Levi climbed across the bed and opened the device  
"It's alive!"  
Levi smiled and Eren scrambled to sit up  
"I found my old charger out for you and it seemed to have worked. I'm going to take a shower but why don't you double check everything is working right"  
Eren grabbed Levi by the face and pressed a kiss to the shocked alphas lips  
"You have no idea what this means"  
"Oh, thanks to that kiss I'm pretty sure I do"

Eren quickly logged on and went straight to the file he'd hidden away. He opened it to find everything still there and clicked on the first photo, not quite believing it was. His mothers bright smile filled the scream and his eyes filled with tears of relief. He really owed Levi for this. He was still flicking through the same few photos when the alpha returned and Eren patted the bed next to him  
"I wanna show you something"  
Levi didn't question him, he just climbed up next to the omega and looked down at the laptop  
"Is that your mum? You look so much like her"  
"Yeah... her name was Carla. I've only got a couple of photos..."  
Levi nodded  
"I've got none of my mum, but she looked a lot like me, but thinner... and female"  
Eren slid the laptop from his lap and wrapped his arms around the alpha, at least he had photos...  
"It's fine kid. She died when I was really young, I can barely remember her"  
Eren shook his head, the hug was also a little selfish and he buried his face against Levi's chest and Levi wrapped his arms around him   
"Can I ask why you've never had copies printed?"  
"I had the originals... but... dad tore them up... after that it was safer to not"  
"He's an arsehole"  
Eren nodded against the man, it was nice to hear someone voicing there dislike of the man, everyone seemed to always be on his father's side  
"We can get copies made, so you can have both. Something like that... I think it's important to have both"  
"It's alright"  
Eren didn't want to talk about it anymore, instead content to just lay against Levi. It was stupid how nice this felt and how natural it was starting to feel being with Levi.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some domestic fluff

Eren woke up feeling lousy, his stomach rolled and he rushed to the bathroom, before collapsing down next to the toilet and throwing up weakly. His dreams hadn't been that great and Levi hadn't been in bed beside him like normal. He wondered if the alpha had tired sleeping next to something like him. He curled further around the toilet, hacking pitifully. It seemed rather cruel that he was throwing up the food that Levi had gone to the effort of making. The alpha always made sure he at least had breakfast or lunch and dinner each night, even on the days the alphas work meant Eren would be dining alone.

There was a small knock on the bathroom door  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded, slightly embarrassed to have been caught by the alpha  
"Nightmares?"  
Again Eren nodded and Levi crossed to his side  
"Does this mean you won't be wanting breakfast?"  
"Sorry"  
"It's alright. Do you feel up to going to class today?"

Eren nodded quickly and Levi moved to help him up, the alpha pressed a quick kiss to his temple   
"Take a shower and I'll put your breakfast in the fridge"  
Levi left and Eren too a few deep breaths, his stomach already rolling again. At least now he knew why Levi hadn't been there when he woken up.

The shower did nothing to make him feel better and he didn't want to skip class as they were moving from Inferno for the last 2 weeks. His stomach ached as he dried himself down and tried to dress and when Levi came in the alpha promptly sat him down on the bed  
"I know you want to go to class, but you really don't look well"  
"But..."  
"Eren, one day isn't going to hurt and if you're that worried I'll call Erwin and ask him if you missed anything"  
Even though Eren knew Levi was right, he still didn't like having to admit he really wasn't feeling great. It felt too much like admitting he was weak  
"And I can't come pick you up today if you get sick either, after call I'm stuck in a shitty staff meeting and then have another class after that..."  
With little choice Eren nodded and Levi pulled him in for a quick hug  
"Thank you, I'll call you as soon as I can to check in. Do you want me to leave a bucket by the bed"  
Not wanting to mess up Levi's floor again Eren nodded sadly.

Levi insisted on leaving a bottle of water on the bedside table, and placed Eren's phone next to it   
"If anything happens, call me"  
"Okay"  
Eren felt like he must look so pathetic to the alpha, he'd changed out of his jeans, but left his shirt on. Part of him still worried that Levi would snap one day and admit he found the scars across his back and shoulders disgusting. He buried his face against his pillow, trying not to cry while Levi was still home  
"Eren, I know you're disappointed and upset, but try and get some rest"  
"Okay"  
"And one more thing..."  
Levi's silence made Eren uneasy and he peaked over the pillow to look to Levi   
"I love you brat"  
Eren quickly buried his face back against the pillow and Levi let out a soft laugh   
"You really are adorable"  
The alpha pressed a kiss to the top of his head before leaving"

It wasn't the first time Eren had been left alone, but it seemed without Levi's presence all his dreams were determined to be nightmares and he'd woken up screaming before scrambling for the bucket. He was so over the nightmares. The recent ones had left him reaching for Levi every time he'd woken up as more often than not they'd been of Levi dying or being tortured by his father. The one he'd just woken from was Levi being stabbed to death instead of his mother and he desperately wanted to text the alpha and make sure he was alright. He forced himself no to, though his gaze kept flicking to his phone. The room stank of vomit and sweat and he shivered miserably. Levi had broken his walls and now it felt like he couldn't even remember how he lasted so long alone.

It was a little after 3pm when Levi called, Eren waiter for it to ring a couple of times so he wouldn't seem so needy. The relief of hearing the alphas voice had him tearing up and he cursed himself for being a stupid fool. He assured Levi he was still in bed resting and could hear the alpha sigh in relief. They chatted for a barely a few minutes before Levi had to go again and Eren curled back up still feeling wretched.

Despite the day of rest, he was still feeling just as sick the next day. Levi had made him chicken soup, but he'd thrown that up barely half an hour later and cried in guilt. The alpha had stayed with him, before carrying him back to bed and settling down with Eren curled up against him.

By day 3 Levi was beginning to get worried and Eren was too. Not that he'd tell the alpha that. He hadn't kept anything down and knew he was dehydrated. Levi had brought him electrolyte powder, but it hasn't seemed to help it all and his head throbbed every time he opened his eyes. It was humiliating to have Levi see him like this, though he knew the alpha had seen him even worse. Eren made a silent vow to play it all down if he was sick the next day, so Levi wouldn't worry about being at work so much. He forced himself to keep sipping water, even after he'd throw it all back up and Levi told him that if he hadn't improved by the next day, he had no choice but to take him to hospital. Given his fear and the stress of being sick, he promptly went into meltdown mode and cried himself to sleep.

*  
Eren hated the smell. The stupid roof panels and bright fluorescent lights. He hated the dull chatter that seemed to drive needles into his brain with every word and he hated the stupid nurse with her perky persona. He was not happy at all. The only thing that made being in hospital microscopically better was that Levi was holding the hand that didn't currently have a saline IV running into it. He hadn't wanted to take the stupid pill for his headache and he hadn't wanted to take the anti-nausea pill either, but Levi had triple checked that neither would make him drowsy, he didn't even have to tell Levi why he was terrified. The alpha seemed remember everything he said.

The nurse had promised he could go once the bag had drained, but it seemed to be taking forever and he knew Levi was supposed to be at work by 8:30. He had no idea what the time was, and the sun had only just been rising when the alpha had bundled him up and carried him out to the car. He was sure that any moment Levi would announce he'd have to leave and Eren would be left behind to be forgotten. He chewed on his lip until he tasted blood and Levi let out a sigh  
"It's alright, the bags nearly empty and I'm not going anywhere"  
Out of guilt he continued to bite on his lip and Levi squeezed his hand harder  
"Eren, you're bleeding. So please stop biting on your lip"  
It was hard to force himself not to. The pain felt good. He'd only cut a few times since living with Levi. The alpha never told him off, instead he'd clean the wounds and then hold him tight in bed, if Levi went to work today, like he was supposed to, then Eren would be able to cut a little and vent some of the disgust he felt at himself. He kept that thought firmly in his mind as he laid there and waited another small eternity for the nurse to return  
"All done, now, I promise these will be the best crackers will be the best thing you've ever tasted"  
Eren felt a light weight placed in his lap, but he was concentrating on the cannula sliding from his hand and the nurse promptly put a small circle bandaid over the site. He never understood why they bothered, the bandaid didn't even half an hour most of the time. He hated realised, but the small circle highlighted how bruised the spot was and he eyed it in fear  
"Now you eat those crackers and I'll be back with your papers"  
Eren pulled his hand to his chest and freed his other hand of Levi's hold so he could cover it, his whole body was shaking and he tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Levi was here. He wasn't alone and they weren't coming to hurt him  
"Eren? Are you alright?"  
He forced himself to nod, but jumped when he heard the woman's sneakers squeaking as she returned  
"Mr Yeager, you really need to eat. Your body needs the calories"  
Eren shook his head and the woman sighed  
"I've got a script here for anti-nausea pills. There's 10 tablets in the box, take one in the morning and one in the afternoon if you aren't any better in a few hours. Your his alpha right? Make sure he eats and keeps his fluids up"  
With his eyes closed Eren assumed Levi had nodded   
"I need you to sign this for me and you're free to take him"  
He heard the scritch of the pen against the paper and Levi helped him up  
"Fuck!"  
Eren jumped at Levi's tone, he alpha sounded furious and he flinched when Levi put his hand on his bruised hand  
"Sorry. I just can't believe I didn't see how badly bruised your hands come up"  
Eren felt guilty for bruising, even if it wasn't his fault. He just wanted to go home, but Levi wasn't moving, he mumbled his words out   
"Can we go now?"  
"Shit. Yeah, of course"  
Finally they began to move towards the exist, he kept his gaze low, to him everyone in a white coat reminded him of his father and he was crying by the time they got out the building. He let out a small cry of surprise when Levi lifted him up and buried his face against the alphas neck  
"It's alright. We're going home now, no ones going to hurt you"

*  
Levi insisted on carrying him inside and Eren was still shaking in fear. The alpha settled him down in bed and then climbed up next to him  
"I wish I didn't have to go. Maybe I should just call in sick?"  
Eren shook his head  
"No... I... it's alright... I just want to sleep"  
"But I want to stay here and take care of you"  
"You should go to work... I'll be alright. I'm sorry for being such a burden"  
"Eren, you aren't a burden and you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for"  
The teen couldn't help but snort  
"All I do is fucking cry! Or wake up screaming or throw my guts up! I don't know how you can even stand to look at me! I can't even give you sex without being drunk or in heat and my body is so fucking disgusting..."  
Eren dissolved into sobs, trying to turn away from Levi, but the alpha wouldn't let him   
"And what about the fact you go to school! Or that you actually tell me what's wrong and you've even told me a little about your past. You have been so brave about letting someone in, and an alpha at that! You have made so much progress and you've tried so hard and I am so proud of you for it. You aren't a burden. You are you, and I don't care if you're not up for sex, I like the small kisses and touches and that I can wake up next to you every morning. Every time you do something, even if it's snuggling closer to me when you're sleeping, it makes me stupidly happy. I love you and I'm not leaving you"

Eren sobbed harder at the alphas words. Why. Why was Levi so loving? And how could he be so confident with his words? He clutched the alpha desperately until Levi's phone began to ring and he forced himself away  
"You... should... get... that..."  
His words were interrupted by sniffles as he tried to get them out. Levi went to object  
"I... I think I need to be alone for a bit"  
He didn't want to be, but he didn't want to hold the alpha back  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah..."  
Levi was clearly disbelieving, but pressed a kiss to his forehead   
"Alright. I'll call whoever it was back, but just for you"  
The alpha winked and Eren closed his eyes. His face felt gross and the crying hadn't helped his headache in the slightest. He felt Levi moved away and nearly whined at the loss.

He was nearly asleep when the alpha returned and climbed onto the bed  
"It's time for me to go to work. It's not too late for me to get someone to cover today"  
Eren shook his head sleepily   
"I'll be alright... who called?"  
"Oh, my friend Hanji. Apparently she wants to go out tonight, some celebration over her husbands promotion. I told her we couldn't"  
Eren frowned  
"We?"  
"Yeah. She's been dying to meet you"  
Eren let out an "oh" that was actually more of a yawn  
"You should go..."  
"It's fine. But I do need to go to work..."  
Levi moved the pillow and pressed a kiss to Eren's lips  
"Call me if you need me, and I'll pick your script up on the way back. I'll be home about 2"  
Eren nodded slowly, he was just too tired to keep talking.

*  
By the time Levi came back, he was beginning to feel sick again. The alpha practically rushed into the bedroom and climbed into bed next to him  
"How are you feeling?"  
"Gross"  
Levi sighed  
"I was really hoping you'd be feeling better. I'll get you a drink and a tablet"  
Eren nodded, he was curled into a ball with his hands against his tender stomach. He didn't ever want to move again and wondered why he couldn't just become one with the bed. Levi returned a few minutes later and Eren felt himself being guided up, and then a glass being pressed against his lips  
"I can do this myself"  
"I know. But I want to look after you. Now take a sip and then your pill"  
Eren obeyed and it wasn't long before he was laying against Levi   
"Did you call your friend?"  
"Who? Hanji?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Why? I told her I was going"  
"I want you to..."  
"But your sick"  
"And you've been taking care of me so well that you've barely done anything for yourself other than work... I can't... I need you to be selfish and keep doing things for yourself... otherwise I can't take it..."  
"I am being selfish, I want to look after you"  
"And I need you to look after you and do things for yourself... I already feel so guilty for taking up so much of your time... so please go out and have a good time"  
Levi hugged him tightly   
"I thought we talked about all this earlier, but fuck... I can't say no when you put it like that. Though you should probably know that Hanji and Moblit don't know the word "restraint", well Hanji doesn't. Moblit keeps her in line the best he can, but he's so smitten by her that he ends up being dragged along for the ride"  
Eren smiled slightly, it must be nice to love and be loved like that  
"I'll just sleep... or read or something if I can't sleep"  
"And you'll call me if you need me right?"  
Eren nodded  
"Good. We've still got a few hours before I need to attempt to get ready. Do you want to take a nap with me?"  
Eren nodded again and he felt Levi toeing his shoes off, before the blankets shifted around them and alpha guided his head so his face rested against Levi's neck.

Levi's phone woke them at 6 and the alpha cursed as he slowly detangled to find the noisy device   
"It's Hanji"  
Eren gave a nod and Levi answered. The woman's loud bubbly voice flowed through and he was relieved when Levi said he was coming, but Eren wasn't. Hanji let out a wail and Eren felt a prang of sympathy for the alpha. He didn't know how to handle like that, so it was probably for the best he was sick. Whatever Hanji was saying was cut off when Levi ended the call  
"Shitty glasses... I was enjoying my nap"  
Eren was left to assume that "shitty glasses" meant Hanji. For a man so well educated in English, Levi used the word "shit" a lot  
"You up for trying to eat?"  
Given he hadn't eaten, he supposed he really should try  
"Maybe... but not much"  
"That's alright, you can keep me company while I cook"  
Usually Eren tried to stay clear while Levi cooked so he wouldn't annoy the man or get in his way. Levi slid from the bed and waited for him, taking his hand as they walked towards the kitchen   
"Take a seat"  
Levi pressed a kiss to his cheek before Eren moved to take a seat at the breakfast bar. He didn't exactly feel stable sitting on the stool, but Levi wanted him to be there  
"Is there anything you want in particular?"  
"No... just nothing heavy"'  
Levi moved to the fridge and opened it  
"I can do pancakes or omelettes or fried rice? I want to make sure it's something you like"  
"I've liked everything you've cooked for me"  
Eren blushed bright red as he realised he'd said the words out loud, Levi half turned to look at him, grinning happily   
"That's the best compliment I've ever had. How about omelettes? With ham, tomato and green capsicum?"  
"That sounds good"  
"Then it's decided. Do you want toast as well?"  
"I don't think I can eat that much"  
Levi nodded and began to pull the things he needed from the fridge  
"How about juice?"  
Without waiting for an answer, Levi moved to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of juice. Eren watched as he half filled two glasses and then topped them cold water  
"Sometimes it can be a bit syrupy tasting. The water helps"  
The omega was cautious as he took a sip, as usual Levi was right. He held the cool glass with both hands as the alpha went to making them breakfast for dinner. Levi's moves were so graceful as he sliced everything carefully and almost danced through the kitchen to a song only the alpha could hear and 15 minutes later they were both slicing into the thick omelettes. 

Levi guided the conversation, he seemed intent on assuring him that tonight was just them celebrating Moblit's promotion and that he may wind up drunk. Eren nodded, trying not to let it bother him. He knew Levi wouldn't hurt him, but the last time Levi had been drunk... he quickly stuffed more omelette in his mouth so he wouldn't have to think about how good it felt to have Levi inside of him. He swallowed and promptly choked, coughing as he reached to his drink and drained it  
"You alright?"  
Eren nodded  
"Sorry"  
"It's alright. It's my fault, I probably scared you. I'll sleep on the sofa when I get home"  
"It's fine..."  
He was sure Levi wouldn't get that drunk, not to the point the alpha would lose all control  
"I don't want to scare you or upset you"  
Eren shook his head  
"It's fine... what time are you meeting them?"  
"8. They both work nights usually so they're used to be staying up until the us normal folk wake up, that's part of the problem"  
Eren didn't know if he was supposed to laugh or nod, so he did nothing. They finished in silence and Eren was relieved he didn't want to throw it right back up.

With Levi in the bathroom getting ready, Eren grabbed his laptop and climbed into bed, he scrolled through his newsfeed on Facebook, but it was just filled with Jean's crap, so he closed the tab and sighed. He felt like watching something, but didn't know what. He was still trying to decide when Levi walked in, the alpha had his towel loosely around his waist and Eren swallowed hard. Combined with his earlier thoughts, he felt a small blush dust his cheeks. Fuck Levi was perfect.

The alpha walked through to the walk-in-robe and Eren only felt like he could breathe again when the alpha disappeared inside. He looked down to his laptop and sighed deeply  
"What's wrong?"  
He jumped at Levi's question   
"I don't know what I want to watch"  
"I can't help you there, I'm more of a reader"  
Eren's fingers hovered over the keys and he settled for funny. Opting for Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, leaving the movie to buffer while he checked his emails. He saw an email from Sina and frowned, clicking on it and skimming the text   
"Levi. Did you already enrol me?"  
"No"  
"Well they emailed me to congratulate me on my enrolment"  
"Maybe it was Erwin"  
"Yeah... maybe..."  
He had the sneaking suspicion Levi had in fact enrolled him, and as sweet as it was, he felt bad over the course costs. The whole job thing hadn't panned out in the slightest and Levi never let him pay or contribute to anything. His bank account was the healthiest it'd been in a long time, hovering at the $1000 mark, though that was only because he'd gotten almost all his bond back. He started to tug on his lip with his teeth again, he hadn't cut while Levi was gone earlier and how he felt guilty at the idea of cutting while Levi was out having fun. He didn't want to ruin the alphas night... but he was itching to cut...

When Levi finally reemerged, Eren forgot how to breathe. The alpha had styled his hair back and was decked in black, and oh god... he was just edible  
"Like what you see?"  
Eren nodded, unable to grasp the English language as all the blood he had, had rushed south in appreciation   
"If it's left you speechless then I need to change. I was never one to hook up, and I don't want anyone thinking they have a chance when they don't"  
Levi quickly disappeared and Eren was still trying to comprehend. It should be illegal to be that sexy. When the alpha returned, he'd changed his pants, his shirt still clung, but he was now wearing jeans. He still looked amazing, but in a totally different way  
"Better?"  
Yes... because now people wouldn't be drooling over the alpha. No... because he was still half hard and in shock. He forced himself to nod and Levi "carefully" climbed onto the bed and kissed his deeply  
"Sorry, you just looked like you needed that"  
He really didn't. It was weird how he'd stayed so close to Levi for so long and not really given sex much thought, but all it took was one awkward breakdown and an outfit to have him kind of wanting to touch Levi a little more than the small touches they'd indulged in. Outside a horn blared and Levi hung his head  
"She's early"  
The alpha looked back up and moved to claim his mouth again, the kiss was hungry and Eren whined as Levi broke it  
"I love you, and don't forget to call me if you need anything or even if you don't. Hell I'll probably end up texting you all night"  
"No, go have fun. I'll be fine, I've eaten and I'm going to shower"  
Levi nodded and groaned as he climbed off the bed, he cast Eren a look when he reached the door  
"I'll be fine. Go have fun"  
Levi nodded and disappeared, Eren heard the alphas name screamed and the front door closed. With Levi gone, he moved the laptop from his lap and climbed from the bed. He shivered as he felt slick begin to soak into his underwear.

Stripping down, Eren moved into the shower. If Levi came home drunk then the alpha might want to have sex... it wasn't like he'd never masturbated before when he was pent up, but when he closed his eyes, all could see was Levi. He ran his hands across his skin, trying to figure out what he liked and what he could handle. He wanted to make Levi happy and he wanted to be able enjoy Levi's touch. One hand moved to lightly jerk his erection, while the other continued to slide across his stomach and thighs, before finally sliding back and down against his slickened opening. The moment his fingers touch the ring of muscle he started to panic, he let out a small cry, but forced himself to continue on. Tears rolled down his face as he released his now half hard penis. Levi said he didn't mind, but Eren felt like a failure of an omega and was determined to get used to the sensation as he forced his fingers in deeper. He tried to image it was Levi touching him, but it didn't work. He pulled his fingers out as he sobbed, feeling so fucking stupid. He rushed from the shower and slipped, falling hard on the tiles with a whine. Why couldn't he do anything right? He pushed himself up and grabbed his towel and then stumbled over to the vanity to slide his blade from its hiding place. He limped into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed. He forced himself to dry off before abandoning the towel and moving to his side. He sobbed hard as he placed the first cut on the top of his leg. A second and third joined, but the forth was barely a line as he screamed and threw the blade across the room. It wasn't fair.

 

*  
Eren was woken to a pounding on the door and heart began to race. Levi has his keys, the alpha could have just let himself in. Cautiously he limped through the house, red and blue lights flicked through the doors glass panes. The same loud knocking came again and Eren trembled as he opened the door, his eyes widening as they came to Levi. Levi's lip and eyebrow were split and his left eye badly bruised, still he tried to smile  
"Hey..."  
Levi thanked the officer next to him and moved past Eren, closing the door as he did  
"What a fucking night"  
The alpha rubbed his face, hissing as he did  
"What happened?"  
"I need a shower, then we'll talk"  
Levi walked away from him and Eren wondered what hell could have happened, he wanted to follow the alpha, but Levi didn't seem to want him to.

The teen had retreated to the safety of the sofa. He pulled the thin throw rug over himself, not sure what to say when he saw Levi. It was clear the alpha had gotten into a fight, but Levi hadn't seemed the type to just get into a random fight. 

"What are you doing out here?"  
Levi flopped down next to him and Eren shifted away  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"You're the one who got into a fight"  
"Yeah... about that..."  
Eren hoped Levi wasn't going to say what he thought was coming  
"Hanji wanted to go to Underground and Jean was working"  
Eren let out a groan   
"Yeah. Jean cornered me in the bathroom, he started screaming all this shit and then tried to take a swing at me"  
"Seriously?"  
"Yeah. I might have broken his nose"  
Eren's eyes widened  
"You did what?"  
"I... the shit he was saying. I couldn't stop myself"  
"Levi! That's not alright! What if you'd been hurt and what do you mean you broke his nose!"  
"He swung first. That and the shit he was screaming, he honestly sounded out of his mind. I had only just got him pinned down when some other alphas came into the bathroom, they didn't realise what was going on and pulled off Jean, he came up swinging"  
Levi gestured to his lip and Eren didn't know what to say. He'd caused this... and while it was nice that Levi had felt the need to stand up to Jean for him, the fact the alpha had broken Jean's nose had him on edge. If Levi could hurt Jean... he tried to push down the thought as Levi went to reach for his hand  
"I know I fucked up, but I don't regret it"  
Eren moved his hand away and Levi looked hurt for a moment  
"Look, if you're that scared you can sleep in the bedroom and I'll sleep in the guest room"  
Eren swallowed, trying to find the words, instead he shook his head and Levi drew his brow  
"Eren, you're scared. I can see it and I can smell it. I don't want to make you even more upset, especially when you've been so sick"  
He finally found his words and softly mumbled  
"I don't feel like sleeping. You take the bed..."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah... goodnight Levi"  
Despite how scared he was, Levi still pressed a kiss to the teens temple  
"We'll talk about this properly later... and if you do decided you want to go bed, come sleep in ours"  
Eren didn't reply, and Levi left. With the alpha gone, the omega stretched out on the sofa. He didn't know what he was supposed to do now or what to say. He wondered what Jean was going to tell Marco and if Marco would hate him... he began to panic at the idea of the fellow omega having a go at him over text or Jean having a go at him and Levi online. Jean knew what had happened that night and the scars and he'd held him when he'd cried... the alpha could easily put all of it online... he could accuse Levi of taking advantage of him, the bathroom encounter may have been because he wasn't exactly sober... and he hadn't really been in right mind with the marking... but Levi was sorry for that and he knew that and he didn't hold it against the alpha, but Jean did. He worked himself up to the point his chest was burning from the effort to try and breathe. He hadn't had a panic attack like this in months, not where grey spots were dancing across his vision and he couldn't calm at all. 

Eren woke to find himself laying on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, he winced as he pushed himself up. Sleeping on the cold floor definitely hadn't done anything to help and he whimper as he stood and stumbled towards the bathroom. 

*  
The morning came after a sleepless night, he couldn't find the courage to face Levi. He heard Levi's alarm going off and knew he'd see the man soon, but without knowing what to say or how to look, he buried himself under the throw rug and placed a cushion over his head. It didn't thwart Levi at all, he heard the bedroom door open and the footsteps as the alpha approached, and then the cushion was lifted and Levi peered down at him  
"Did you get some sleep?"  
Eren shook his head and Levi sighed   
"Let's get you into bed and then we'll talk properly"  
The omega wasn't given a chance to object, Levi rolled him gently and then lifted him, the alpha felt so nice and warm, nothing at all like the floor or sofa. 

Levi laid him on the alphas usual side and Eren immediately snuggled into the warmth, Levi covered him with the thick blankets and sat next to him  
"Better?"  
Eren hummed and Levi's hand came to rest on his head   
"Your freezing, you should have come back to bed"  
Eren shook his head   
"Last night really rattled you didn't it?"  
"Yeah..."  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know we were going there and I did my best to avoid Jean, I didn't even know he'd seen me until the bathroom"  
"You got hit because of me"  
"I got hit because of Jean. You didn't make him do it"  
"But..."  
"But nothing. You aren't to blame"  
Eren nodded against the pillow, he was still shaking slightly from the cold and curled up tighter in an attempt to get warm  
"I'll get you another tablet and something to drink"  
"Water"  
"Water it is"

Eren's stomach rolled as he sipped at the water, Levi stroked his hair gently   
"Levi. What did Jean say?"  
The alpha shook his head  
"It doesn't matter now. But he won't be saying it again, not unless he wants his arse kicked again"  
Eren shook his head  
"I need to know... this all makes no sense"  
"Eren"  
"Please Levi?"  
"He was just screaming about how I stole you away and how I'm keeping you practically prisoner and then he started talking about how good it felt having sex with you and how you clung to him and..."  
Eren was shaking harder, Jean had been an arse, but he still didn't think the alpha had deserved being hit  
"And?"  
"And then he started yelling how'd I was no better than those alphas that had raped you before"  
Eren buried his face against his pillow. Now he could understand why Levi had snapped  
"I'm sorry, but had made me furious, talking about it like that and that's when he went crazy..."  
"Does it hurt?"  
The pillow muffled his words, but Levi obviously understood   
"Nah, I've had worse. Now you know all about my night. What about yours?"  
Eren shook his head, Levi would see the cuts soon enough. The weight on the bed shifted, nearly upending the bottle of water propped up near his chest. Eren forced his cold hands to move and placed the lid back on the bottle carefully  
"Nothing happened"  
"That's good, why don't we spend the day in bed, we can watch anything you'd like"  
The weight shifted again and Levi slid under the blankets and pulled the pillow from his arms. The alphas eye looked really painful, but his lip wasn't so bad. Levi leant in and pressed a kiss to his lips  
"I love you kid"

Given he didn't watch Hitchhikers the previous night, they curled up and watched it together. Given his head was in Levi's lap, he couldn't tell if the alpha was enjoying the movie or not, the alpha probably prefer the books. When the movie ended Levi pressed a kiss to his temple  
"It wasn't bad"  
Eren nodded against him, he loved the movie for its cheesiness, so he was relieved Levi liked it  
"Do you think you can eat now?"  
"Maybe just something small"  
"Toasted sandwiches?"  
"Can we have cheese and tomato?"  
"Sure. You going to come watch me cook?"  
Eren nodded and Levi moved the laptop away, before lifting Eren up, blankets and all  
"Put me down"  
Levi nodded  
"I might have been a bit ambitious trying to carry all those blankets"  
The alpha proceeded to pull the top ones off and wrapped Eren up, before one lifting him again and carrying him out to sit him on the kitchen bench  
"You're still warm right?"  
Eren nodded and Levi went to making food. The smell had him wrinkling his nose   
"I think I'll wait in bed"  
Hopping off the counter, Levi placed his hand to Eren's forehead  
"You do feel a little warm"  
The alpha pressed a kiss to his cheek and Eren retreated to the bedroom. He remade the bed before diving in, managing to fall asleep before Levi returned.


	18. Chapter 18

Given he was still feeling gross the following week, Levi insisted on booking a doctors appointment. They were currently sitting in a small clinic and Eren was barely keeping it together. The room was silent other than the receptionist tapping away on his computer and if Eren had been alone he would have bolted by now. Instead Levi sat beside him, the alpha was buried in some book he was thinking of adding to curriculum. Even Eren's curiosity over the novel couldn't outweigh the fear he felt  
"Eren Yeager"  
Eren jumped and Levi stood before he did, reaching out his hand and pulling the teen up. Eren immediately gripped Levi's arm and walked half hidden behind Levi as they followed the man through the hall and into the examination room.

"So which one of you is Eren"  
"I... am"  
The fear made his words soft and the man nodded  
"Take a seat and let's get started"  
The man didn't seem to mind that Levi did the talking, explaining Eren had been sick for nearly 10 days now. He also explained their trip to the hospital and that Eren had been under a lot of stress. The man wanted to know immediately what that was supposed to mean and Levi looked to Eren for permission. The omega nodded and Levi explained what had happened in the few months they'd known each other. The man hummed and started asking if Eren was suicidal or if he self harmed. Levi answered again and the doctor didn't seem too pleased, which made Eren even more nervous.

"And what about your parents?"  
Eren hadn't expected the question and his body tensed  
"They... aren't in the picture"  
The doctor frowned at him and Eren felt tears forming  
"His mother died and his dad took off"  
The man noted it down  
"Let's start by taking your blood pressure and then we'll get you on the scales"  
Eren felt like he was a specimen as the man took his bp, which was apparently high, weighed him, apparently he was underweight, and he was 173cms tall.

The man insisted on blood tests and Eren nearly fainted at the thought. He gave him a referral form and then asked for a urine sample. The ground refused to open up and swallow him, despite how much he wanted it to and he felt like a fool as he stumbled from the room and into the bathroom. Returning a few minutes later. He sat heavily as the man pulled out a strip of some kind of indicator  
"You're no pregnant right?"  
"They gave him a contraceptive shot after the incident"  
The man nodded, but Eren didn't like the look on his face. The doctor dipped the strip in and Eren stared down at his lap  
"I couldn't help but notice your last name, you aren't related to Grisha Yeager are you?"  
Eren felt like the chair had been kicked out under him. He pitched forward and Levi caught him with one arm  
"Eren!"  
Eren whimpered and Levi pulled him up and into his lap  
"Are you alright Eren?"  
Eren swallowed down the bile burning at his throat. This man knew his father. He couldn't trust him. He needed to get out of here  
"I suppose Yeager isn't that uncommon for a surname"  
The doctor looked at the test, Eren's eyes flicked to him, before he scrunched them close  
"It seems your white blood cells are elevated, so I'll write you a prescription for more anti-nausea tablets and antibiotics, also pick up some hydralyte from the chemist and increase your meal intake"  
Eren felt like a small child being talked do to. When Levi patted his leg, Eren knew they were finally free to go and he practically ran from the room. He was already at the car before he realised and sank down on the sidewalk. Why couldn't he get away from the man?

Levi let him into the car a few minutes later, Eren yanked the door opened and slammed it behind him, feeling like he could breathe again, the driver's door opened and he jumped  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Your dad right?"  
"I..."  
"It's alright, we don't have to talk about it. We'll pick up your medication and head home"

Levi still had work that afternoon, and Eren had to force himself not to cling to alpha once they got home. He was jumping at shadows, convinced Grisha was just out of eye sight. When Levi went to give him his medication, Eren smacked it from the alphas hand before panicking over what he'd done. When Levi went to comfort him, Eren bolted, he shut himself away in the walk-in-robe, trying to be as quiet as possible. The door slid open and Eren whimpered, he literally couldn't back up further  
"Eren?"  
"Stay away!"  
"Eren it's alright"  
"Stay away from me!"  
"Eren its Levi, can you hear me?"

Eren knew it was Levi, he could smell the alpha, but he couldn't process. He was just too scared. When the alphas hand touched his arm, he heard himself screaming  
"Eren"  
The alpha pulled him against his chest and all he could smell was Levi  
"It's alright, he's not here"  
Eren shook his head as he sobbed and Levi nuzzled his neck  
"You're safe. I'm here"  
Levi held him until he was completely spent, the alpha lifted him awkwardly and carried him to bed, before grabbing a handful of tissues and cleaning his face down  
"You rest here, I'll get you your medication and you needed to have something to eat with the antibiotics"  
"I-I don't want them..."  
"You kind of have to have them if you want to get better"  
Eren shook his head, but Levi looked at him pleadingly  
"He knows my dad..."  
"You think he's trying to drug you?"  
Eren nodded and Levi sighed  
"I've had these antibiotics before, and the anti-nausea pills are the same as what you've been taking. I'm not going to let anything happen"  
"You can't say that! You don't know him!"  
"No I don't! But I know you! Look, I'm supposed to be at work soon, so come with me. You can hide in my office, or even under the desk if it makes you feel better"  
Eren shook his head and he looked back to the walk-in-robe  
"You want to stay in there?"  
When he didn't reply Levi stood, the alpha grabbed their pillows and Eren watched the man  
"Hop up"  
Obeying, it wasn't long before Levi stripped the blankets off the bed and beckoned him over to the walk-in-robe  
"If you're going to stay in there, I want you to be comfy"  
The teen had no words for how much he appreciated that Levi understood he couldn't control his fear, instead he forced himself to wrap his arms around Levi  
"Thank you"  
"You're welcome brat. Now get settled and I'll be right back"

Getting settled wasn't easy, Eren was still jumpy and scared, even with the safety of three walls close enough for him to know no one was going to attack him from behind. Levi came back with his tablets and half a cheese sandwich. He took the pills unhappily and the sandwich felt like lead in his stomach. Levi moved the plate aside and crawled up next to him, giving him a kiss on the forehead  
"Are you sure you'll be alright?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Ok. I have to go now, try and get some sleep"  
Eren nodded, his body was exhausted, but he already knew he was going to have a nightmare  
"I've got my keys, so you don't have to get up, even if someone knocks or something"  
"Okay"  
"I love you Eren"  
Levi kissed him gently and climbed off the pile of bedding, he paused at to door  
"Do you want me to slide it closed?"  
"Yes please"  
"Ok. Be safe brat"

Alone in the dark, Eren tried to get comfortable. It was like all the times he'd tried to hide from his father in the past and expected the door to fly open at any minute. He pulled the blankets tighter, desperately trying to breathe in as much of Levi's scent as possible. The alpha truly was the only good thing that had ever happened...

*  
Waking up, Eren frowned. The door to the walk-in-robe was open and there was a lingering smell that set his nerves on edge. He cautiously crawled to the doorway and peaked out, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. If Levi was home, wouldn't the alpha had awoken him? Or maybe Levi had decided it was best he sleep... standing up cautiously, Eren slipped through the gap and into the bedroom, the bed was just as bare as he remembered, and he turned slowly, carefully double checking nothing was out of place. The air in the room felt ridiculously cold and Eren didn't know if he was imagining it or not. With his heart hammering in his chest, he moved from the bedroom, stepping as quietly as he could. The search showed Levi wasn't home and he shook hard with fear. Unless the door had opened magically, someone had been there. Rushing back to the bedroom, he grabbed his phone off the bedside table and his fingers shook as he unlocked the screen. The camera roll was open and Eren's eyes widened as he realised he was staring at a photo of himself sleeping. He had to get out of there. He ran for the front door and screamed in frustration as he fumbled with the lock, it he was sobbing by the time the latch finally turned and he managed to get the door open.

He didn't know where he was going, he just ran. Desperately trying to put distance between himself and Levi's house. His safe place hadn't been safe. Levi had lied to him. He couldn't stop the trail of thought... that Levi was in on it all and had chosen to take him to that doctor knowing the man knew his father. Rounding a corner, he smacked hard into someone, falling backwards pain flared up his ankle and through his hands  
"Oi! Watch where you're fucking going freak!"  
He pushed himself up and began to limp as fast as he could away. They were right. He was a freak. A stupid disgusting, dirty freak that no one could ever love. Levi had lied. All of it had to be a lie. No one would or could ever want him.

By the time he collapsed, he had no idea where he was or how much time had elapsed. He couldn't move and he couldn't see for the tears that wouldn't stop. He could feel his phone still in his hand, but the small cuts told him it was broken. That was probably for the best. It wasn't like anyone cared enough to call... or that he had anyone who would. He used to have friends, but now they all hated him and probably didn't even remember he existed  
"What do we have here! Look at this kid! Balling his eyes out! What's the matter little man? Lost your daddy? Don't worry, we'll help you find him"  
Eren tried to push himself up, but a sharp kick to his stomach stopped that. He had no idea who they were, only that the repeated blows felt ridiculously good beneath all the pain. He deserved this  
"What the fucks wrong with him? He's not even trying to fight back"  
"I don't know man, check his pockets"  
He whimpered as hands began to pat his abused body down  
"Nah, he's got nothing and his phones smashed. What a let down"  
Whoever it was gave one final kick before laughing as they walked away. Yeah. He deserved this.


	19. Chapter 19

Something warm was across his arms, he blinked slowly as the work came into line and whimpered at the aching in his head. It took his a few moments to remember what had happened and looked down at his arms letting out a shrill scream. He scrunched his eyes closed, panting hard and waiting a few moments to open them again. The blood was gone from his arms, but still covered his left hand and he realised it was from his broken phone. He looked at the device sadly. No one would him that someone had been in the house without proof.

He forced his throbbing body to move, the action had him vomiting before he knew what happened and he wiped the back of his mouth weakly. The fact there was blood in it was probably not a good thing. But what did it matter anymore? Everything was a lie. He crawled to his feet and staggered, trying to reach for anything that would prevent him from falling. His hands landed on a dumpster and he took a deep breath. Nothing mattered any more and nothing ever would. It was better to return to Levi and let the alpha do as he pleased. One day if he was lucky, Levi might even kill him... gritting his teeth, he wrapped his left arm around his waist and began to stagger the towards the direction opposite of the way he'd been facing when he'd woken up.

*  
People stared as he limped past, he heard them whisper and was sure they were laughing. Why wouldn't they? He was a joke? He hadn't gotten better, he hadn't gotten over what had happened like he should have by now. All he did was cling to Levi, yet deny the man any love in return. He jumped when there sound of police sirens rang out a single time and then a rough voice called out to him. He knew they were trying to talk to him, but if he stopped he was afraid he'd fall down  
"Sir!"  
A had grabbed his arm and Eren hissed as he was spun around  
"Excuse me sir. Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded, he was staring at a pair of very shiny black boots  
"You don't look alright. Why don't you let us give you a lift to hospital?"  
Eren shook his head, tripping as he tried to back away, but the officer prevented his fall  
"Whoa. I'm not going to hurt you sir. So let's get you some help"  
"Home... I just want to go home"  
The officer was silent for a moment   
"Where do you live?"  
Eren gave the man Levi's address   
"That's a fair hike, especially in your condition. How about you let us give you a ride?"  
Eren nodded, he had nothing to lose anyway. The officer guided him over to a sedan and into the back. The man's partner tried to get him to tell them what happened, but it wasn't like Eren could. He had no idea where it happened or who did it, by the time they pulled up, he was barely conscious   
"Sir, we're here"  
Eren went to try the door, but it wouldn't open, a few seconds later the officer opened it for him  
"Is someone waiting for you?"  
The omega nodded and began to stiffly stumble towards the front door.

He hadn't even reached the door before Levi was running at him  
"Eren! Oh my god what happened!?"  
Eren shook his head, collapsing against the alpha   
"I'm fine... just really sleepy"  
He was out like a light, cradled protectively in Levi's arms.

He knew he was dreaming. He could see himself sleeping and was watching as his father snuck in. He watched as the man pulled back the blankets and tried to will himself away. He watched himself try and fight, but his father's hands were firmly around his neck, and as he looked to himself he woke up with a gasp  
"Eren!"  
He realised he was crying and covered in sweat, but above all everything hurt  
"Eren, are you alright?"  
The omega looked to Levi. The man's face etched with worry, he nodded and laid back down, he rolled onto his side, biting his lip so the whimper in his throat wouldn't fall from his lips. He buried his face deeply into the pillow, shutting out the alpha  
"Eren?"  
He didn't reply and Levi slid up behind him  
"What happened brat? I came home and the door was open and then having the police bring you back... and someone's beat the fuck out of you... god..."  
"I'm fine"  
His words were devoid of emotion and Levi held him tighter   
"You aren't fine. I know, I showered you and cleaned up your hand..."  
"Why?"  
"What do you mean why?"  
Eren shrugged and Levi nuzzled against his back   
"Talk to me?"  
Eren kept his mouth closed and felt Levi move back, the alpha rolled him onto his back and Eren looked away  
"Why won't you talk to me? Did I do something"  
Yet again Eren didn't answer and Levi looked his face into his hands, forcing him to look at him  
"What?"  
His voice was flat and Levi kissed his lips  
"I love you and I want to help you"  
The omega let out a laugh  
"Then let me die"

Something in Levi snapped, the alpha pushed his lips against Eren's desperately trying to kiss him  
"I love you. I'm not letting you die"  
"Then I have nothing to say"

 

*  
When it happened, Eren wasn't as surprised as he thought he would be. He hadn't talked to Levi in days, the alpha had even taken to sleeping in the guest room. Every morning Levi would come to the bedroom to dress for work, the place Eren's tablets on the bedside table and a bottle of water, with usually an apple. He'd say good morning, tell him that he loved him and the say goodbye after he'd dressed, Eren would always pretend to sleep through the alpha's visits and then sneak out to wash the tablets down the sink after the door had closed.

This morning was just like the one before. Levi had left and Eren had snuck out, only this time he wasn't alone in the house  
"Hello Eren"  
Eren tensed, he'd been waiting for this, Levi must really have been sick of him  
"Dad"  
He turned in the direction of his father's voice. The man looked laughably worried  
"What do you want?"  
Grisha crossed the gap and Eren was too numb to move, when his father pulled him to his chest, Eren couldn't even struggle away  
"I've been so worried about!"  
Eren snorted, apparently he could still think and speak  
"I doubt it"  
His father pushed him back and stared into his eyes  
"What do you want?"  
"I've come to take you back of course..."  
"Back where?"  
Grisha frowned   
"Don't you remember?"  
"I remember the way you beat and raped me"  
The alpha looked down   
"So you still think that. Eren, you aren't well, you escaped from the hospital again and I've come to take you back"  
Eren shook his head  
"No. You left me and I finally made a life for my self"  
"I'll admit I wasn't the best father, but I always cared about you in my own way. Look, let's get you back to the hospital and we'll talk"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm not leaving Levi"  
What was he saying? Levi wasn't even talking to him  
"Ah yes, Levi Ackerman I believe? The owner of this property. You do know he's been overseas for the last two months right. I don't know what you thinks been happening, but he's in your head"

He knew his father was trying to mess with him. Levi was real. He knew the alpha was real. But...  
"Come along Eren"  
His father gripped his arm and started dragging him towards the door  
"No! I'm staying with Levi!"  
"Eren! The Levi in your head isn't real! But I am! You need help!"  
"No! You just want to hurt me again! I'm not letting you!"  
The alpha sighed heavily  
"I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this"  
Eren's eyes widened as his father's hand disappeared into his long coats pocket and pulled out a syringe  
"No... no... let me go..."  
"No can do. This is for your own good Eren"  
Eren shook his head, he tried to claw his father's grip off his arm, his heart was racing and that numb feeling was now long gone. He'd been so stupid. He felt the pinch of the needle and whimpered  
"There we go, we'll get you the help you need"  
"L-Levi..."

He felt like a rag doll as his father lifted him easily, he knew this drug too well, the alphas favourite. He was wide awake and thinking, but couldn't move at all. His eyes were wide and glassy, he desperately want one of Levi's neighbours to come and save him, to call out, to stop his father. Buy it didn't happen and Eren was placed in the back of a plain black sedan. He slumped sideways and Grisha lifted his legs in easily  
"It's alright Eren, it'll all be alright"


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter.  
> You can hate me... I don't mind. I got him hair cut today and feel too fabulous!
> 
> https://dammitadolfnomorecake.tumblr.com/post/162390232804

Every day had blurred into the previous and he couldn't even tell when the next day came. He had no idea how long he'd been there, but it'd been long enough for his stomach to begin to swell. Grisha had talked like he knew all along, and Eren wondered if that doctor had contacted his father. Every day Grisha would come to talk to him, he'd read to him or tell him about things happening outside, but given his drugged state, all he could do was listen to the man. 

Even if Levi didn't exist, Jean seemed to. His father would update him on what the alpha was up to, and Eren was disgusted to know the man had been watching him for so long. Not everything Grisha said made sense, but at the end of the day, he'd always make sure to remind Eren that Levi wasn't real. But if Levi wasn't real then who's baby was he carrying... he didn't even know how far along he was... or when it could have happened, the only times that came to mind was the bathroom and his miniheat... but when Jean had fucked him, the alpha said he'd used a condom... it was terrifying to be trapped with all there thoughts. What kind of omega didn't know who the father of their child was.

Grisha seemed to love the fact he was pregnant, he couldn't move or object when his father would run his hands over the swell, something Eren hadn't even been able to do, due to the fact not only was he drugged, he was also restrained to the bed. He'd talk about how happy Carla would be to meet her grandchild, and to Eren if felt like the man had lost his grip on reality even more.

The real highlight was when Grisha decided he needed a visitor. He heard the alpha talking in the hall, explaining to someone he couldn't see, that Eren had been in and out of a mental institute since the age of 12, and how sorry he was for anything Eren had done. He'd never imagine it would be Jean who'd walk through the door. The alpha looked confused by the sight of him and Grisha placed his arm over Jean's shoulders, guiding him to the chair beside the bed  
"He's awake, he can hear what you're saying, but gets violent if he isn't restrained"  
Jean's eyes widened further and Eren could tell the alpha wanted to run  
"You can hold his hand"  
Jean gave a nod and Eren felt the alphas hand take his. After no contact, other than to his stomach, the sensation of someone holding his hand was weird and somewhat gross  
"What the hell happened to you? Marco said you came and got your things and then you never messaged him, he'd been worried about you!"

Eren wanted to wince at the alphas words, but nothing would happen if he tried, instead he looked at the alphas face, trying to see if there was any trace Jean had had his nose broken. He tried to remember the alphas face, but drew a blank and silently screamed  
"Are you sure he can hear me?"  
"Yeah, it's probably scary for you, but he's getting the best care possible"  
Jean nodded, the alpha stood and leant in, his lips against Eren's ear  
"Levi's looking for you, but I don't think I feel like telling him where you are"  
The alpha pressed a kiss to Eren's temple and Eren shivered in disgust  
"I have to go now Eren, but I'll try and bring Marco next time"  
Jean looked to Grisha   
"That should be fine, but make sure you call and confirm before you come in, I'll show you out"

The fact that Levi hadn't been in his head was beyond relieving, he didn't have the words, not that he could say them anyway. Grisha couldn't take this away from him, and the alpha didn't even know what Jean had whispered in his ear. He wondered if his father had told the alpha that he was pregnant... he really wished he'd had. Jean would be fucking furious, like Eren was furious at the alpha for not helping him. His father returned and moved to sit where Jean was  
"See, we all care about you, we all want you to get better. But don't worry, your mother and I will take care of our grandchildren like they were our own"  
Grandchildren? Plural? As in he was carrying plural? Or Grisha intended on basically breeding him while he couldn't escape...

*  
Time seemed to move impossibly slower after Jean's visit and all Eren could think about was Levi. Grisha came and went, he gushed over Eren hitting 12 weeks like a normal caring father would and Eren wondered what Levi would think of all of this... they hadn't even had sex since that day and now he was carrying the alphas child... did Levi even want children... what if he gave birth and then found out the child wasn't Levi's... would the alpha stay if that was the case? Would Levi still say he loved him?

Grisha decided that given he was now safely into his second trimester, that Eren was no longer getting enough vitamins and minerals through his feeding tube. The omega didn't realise what was happening at first, but bit by but he found himself slowly able to move a little more each day. Grisha stopping when the dose got to the point Eren could move, but not fight back. 

Jean returned, this time with Marco. The omega seemed shocked, while Jean seemed happy, with Jean sitting in the only seat, Marco sat on the edge of Eren's bed, only for Grisha to lose his cool and snap it him to get off, his father might have been apologetic the next instance, but it was clear that Marco was a little shaken by the man's anger. Jean pulled Marco into his lap and brushed the omegas hair back, showing off the mating mark on Marco's neck. He didn't know what the alpha expected of him, but he wasn't jealous in the slightest  
"How have you been?"  
Eren tried to move his tongue to answer, but the movement felt so foreign and the look his father gave him said "don't even try"  
"He can't talk, they have to keep him doped up because he's crazy!"  
Marco frowned, clearly not sure  
"Oh... I don't know what to say?"  
Grisha piped up  
"Eren's always had a delicate mental state, prone to hallucinations even as a boy, I mean, you try the best you can... but sometimes that's not enough. I hope you don't think I'm too terrible of a father, I just don't want Eren trying to abort his baby again..."  
Marco's eyes widen and Eren looked towards his stomach. Now the omega was going to think him crazy too, Jean cleared his throat  
"Eren's parents have already decided they're going to take the child as Eren isn't well enough to care for it"  
Marco's eyes spoke volumes to Eren. He prayed this meant that the omega would get him help. Jean started to prattle on about work, but Marco's hand found his way to his. It was a heroic effort on Eren's behalf and he didn't even know if Marco would understand as he began to try and write with his finger on the teens hand without his father noticing. He shook hard from the effort and only for to spell "H-E-L" as Marco squeezed his hand hard. Jean was still talking when Grisha told the pair visiting time was over and Marco climbed from Jean's lap  
"I hope you get better soon"  
The omega moved away and Jean once again came to whisper in his ear   
"You really think Levi's going to want a whore like you. I bet you don't even know who the father is"  
He pressed a kiss to the same place as last time and walked over to take Marco's hand  
"What was that about?"  
"Oh, you know, just telling him I hope he gets better soon"  
Grisha usher the two out and Eren closed his eyes. Surely Marco would help... or maybe the omega had actually only come to laugh at him... he didn't want to think it, but after the shit with Jean and Levi... and if Marco was Jean's omega as the mark suggested... he wanted to scream.

 

*  
If Eren had to hazard a guess, he'd say it was about a week later when his father came in with a wheelchair. Eren knew instantly this wasn't going to be good  
"I've arranged your transfer, I'll be taking you somewhere much safer"  
Safer? What was there to be afraid of? The scariest thing in the whole place was his father, and that was proved again when the man moved over and administer a sedative. He felt himself grow tired and Grisha stroked his hair. 

Waking up, he was in a huge bed, covered with think blankets and he could actually fucking move. His body was week from weeks of laying in the bed. When his father had sponge bathed him, the alpha had also stretched his legs and arms, but moving them on his own was so much harder than he remembered. He dragged himself across the bed, before going to stand and nearly falling, once hand came to his stomach instantly and he swallowed down the fear. As long as the baby existed he could prove that Levi wasn't just in his head... he couldn't prove to the alpha someone had been in there house after his phone had broken, but this he could.

He moved to the window, pushing the curtain back. The world outside was sunny and bright, people walked past the house like it was normal. Eren's fingers slid around the moulding, trying to find a latch, but there wasn't one and he frowned. He move towards the door carefully, his legs shaking in effort to support him and if he hadn't had his hands against the wall, he would have fallen.

The door to the bedroom opened easily, and Eren shook with effort as he made his way along the hallway. He'd never been in this house before, but something was so familiar. The staircase before him seemed to stretch forever and he kept one hand on his stomach as he moved down, having to stop once he hit the bottom of it.

The bottom floor smelt like pancakes and Eren wasn't sure if he was going to faint from the happiness of real food, or throw up from the smell of real food. He stumbled to the front door and tried to find the handle, his fingers found nothing remotely door know like, but a pinpad was mounted next to the door and he groaned. He was trapped  
"Eren?!"  
The teen jumped at the sound of the unfamiliar voice and he looked back to see a woman he didn't know looking at him with concern  
"Come away from the door sweetheart, I just made breakfast"  
The woman came to his side and pulled him into a hug  
"We were so worried about you honey"  
Eren was confused. He had no fucking clue who this woman was or was supposed to be, and as she guided him from the door he tried to push away  
"Who are you?"  
The woman sighed  
"Honey, do you really not remember me? Grisha said it was bad this time... but I didn't think you'd forget me"  
The woman took a firmer hold on his arm  
"Come on, let's get you sitting down. All this stress is bad for the baby"

He was lead into a bright kitchen, the yellow and white tones were ridiculous and he was seated at distressed white wooden table  
"Let me get your breakfast"  
Eren's eyes never let her as she picked up a plate of pancakes and a glass of juices, carrying them back with a smile on her face. She placed them down and he frowned at them  
"What's wrong honey? Don't you like pancakes anymore?"  
"I'm not about to eat something some stranger, who's keeping me locked up, is trying to feed me"  
The woman looked genuinely hurt   
"Eren, don't you remember your own mother?"  
Pushing his chair back, he stood too suddenly and the world swirled around him as his knees gave out, the woman caught him and pushed him back into the chair  
"You're... you're not my mother"  
"Yes I am honey"  
Eren shook his head   
"No! She's dead! I know she's dead!"  
"Not this again... Eren, I'm fine honey, see"  
The woman indicated to her self and Eren continued to shake his head, his heart was pounding so hard it filled his ears, he tried to suck breaths in, but he was so confused and upset, she seemed to believe her own lies  
"Eren, come on honey, deep breaths for me"  
Eren shook his head, he couldn't fucking breathe. The woman held him by the shoulders so his face was against his her stomach   
"Deep breaths honey"  
Eren shook, her touch was doing nothing to help, he was so lightheaded and couldn't help but slump against her unconscious.

*  
Grisha treated the woman like she really was his mother, he smiled and kissed and called her Carla and Eren was revolted. He spent all the time I could alone in the room they'd designated his. He'd pace back and forth as well as he could, trying to regain strength after weeks of being stuck in that hospital bed. He needed out. Even if Marco had told Levi about the hospital he'd been held at, he wasn't there anymore so how was the alpha supposed to find him?

He'd tried the windows he could, he'd tried pounding on them, he'd tried smashing them, but he didn't even make a scratch. Grisha had obviously been planning this for a while. The alpha hadn't laid a finger on him yet, but that didn't mean Eren didn't expect it every time the alpha walked in. His fake mother brought breakfast up every morning with a smile on her face, she'd stroke his hair and ask how he was feeling, and then watch him as he forced himself to eat. He called her "mum", trying to build up enough trust to get her to let him out, of Grisha could fuck with him, he could fuck with this fantasy world the alpha had created.

The opportunity came barely four weeks after his he'd initially woken up in hell. Fake-Carla was rushing that morning, she'd barely spent any time with him and he knew something was up. When she left, he slipped from the bed and stalked out after her, the woman disappeared into the room she shared with his father and Eren slipped downstairs, desperately trying to find somewhere to hide where she wouldn't notice him until it was too late. He slipped up against the wall that separated the stairs from the living room and tensed as he heard her coming down the stairs. She paused to check her handbag and Eren held his breath, sure that should would turn around at any moment. She walked to the keypad and punched in the code, there was a slight click as the door unlocked, Fake-Carla opened it easily and Eren surged forward, shoving her hard out the door and stumbling out after her. He took off before she could grab him, grateful his stomach was still relatively small. 

He made it a couple of blocks before he rounded the corner and saw a park ahead, running straight out through traffic to get there, and ran towards the cafe towards the middle. He had no idea what to say, and everyone was staring at him, which he supposed was due to the stupid pyjamas he was stuck in. The man behind the counter eyed him like he was crazy and Eren sucked in breaths as he staggered over to the counter  
"Sir! Are you alright?"  
Eren shook his head and leant heavily against the counter  
"Do you need help? Do you need me to call the police?"  
He shook his head frantically, he really must look shit if the man's first thought was the police   
"Do... do you have a phone I can use?"  
The man frowned  
"There's a payphone on the other side of the park"  
Eren let out a whimper and his hand came to his stomach, he knew he was being cruel to the man, but if playing the pregnancy card got him a phone call...  
"Sir?"  
"It... it's my baby... I need to call my alpha..."  
The man's eyes widened and the woman customer to his right, snaked an arm around his waist and guided him to sit at the nearest table   
"Do you know his number honey?"  
Why did everyone have to call him honey? He never wanted to hear the at word again  
"N... no... my phone broke... and..."  
He hissed again and the woman fished her own phone out  
"What's his name?"  
Eren wasn't sure if Levi would even talk to him. Jean was out of the question and so was Marco. The only other person he'd had extended contact with was Erwin   
"E-Erwin Smith... he works at Sina... in the literature department..."  
"Let's see if we can find him on google"

The woman must have had some success, she held her phone up to his face  
"Does this seem familiar"  
Eren shook his head, taking a few deep breaths  
"I... I don't know... what am I going to do... what if..."  
"Don't even think about that. What's your name?"  
"Eren... I'm Eren..."  
"Well Eren, I'm Mina. I'm going to call Erwin now"  
Eren nodded and from somewhere a glass of water was pushed into his hands, he raised it and took a cautious sip. He only realised then that he was actually shaking and Nina reached out with her free hand to take the glass. He nodded in thanks and placed both hands on his stomach. Now he'd stopped and was starting to calm somewhat, his baby really wasn't happy.

When Mina started talking, his eyes snapped to the woman, she seemed confused for a second, explaining Erwin's omega was at the cafe, Erwin was obviously confused as well  
"Tell him it's Eren"  
Mina nodded and repeated what Eren had said and then the conversation seemed to take a drastic shift, her face filled with relief and she hung up a few seconds later  
"He's on his way, are you feeling any better?"  
Eren shook his head and Mina looked away  
"There's comfier chairs over here, let's get you settled"  
Nodding his head, he let the woman guide him across the small cafe and to a booth seat he didn't even notice before. He slipped into the corner and pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to hide his presence   
"Is that better?"  
"Yes... thank you"  
Mina smiled  
"It's fine, you looked so scared, I couldn't not help. I'll stay with you until Erwin gets here"  
Eren nodded, hopefully her presence would hide his  
"So um... how did you meet Erwin?"  
Eren realised the woman was trying to distract him and let her guide the conversation  
"A friend from college introduced us... he teaches Historical English... well it's more a comparison between English texts and worldwide texts of the 16th to 19th centuries"  
Mina's eyes widened  
"Wow. He sounds really smart!"  
"He is... I wasn't sure about him to begin with, but he's a good guy"  
"And is he handsome?"  
The mental image of Erwin's eyebrows came to mind and he smiled a little  
"I suppose. He's tall and blonde, well built... but his eyebrows..."  
Mina looked at him with curiosity   
"I really wish he'd do something about them. It looks like two fat caterpillars have taken up residence"  
Mina laughed lightly   
"I'm sure they can't be that bad"  
"Wait until you see them"  
The woman's friendliness helped to ease him back into the world. For what felt like an eternity he'd only Grisha and Fake-Carla. He released how starved he'd been for real interaction. 

Erwin rushed into the cafe and Eren found he couldn't call out to the man, Mina looked to him  
"Is that him?"  
Eren nodded and the woman called Erwin's name. The alpha's eyes widened as they landed on him and Mina leant in  
"I can see what you mean now. You really should wax them while he sleeps. It was nice to meet you Eren, I hope your baby is just fine"  
"You to and thank you"  
He wondered if "you to" was the right thing to say and Mina moved to Erwin, obviously quickly explaining what had happened, before giving him a wave an walking off. Eren pushed himself up and Erwin rushed to grab him  
"You have no idea how worried we've been. Let's get you out of here"  
Eren nodded as he tried to slide out the through the gap between the tables. He stumbled and Erwin caught him, lifting him easily as Eren tried not to be so embarrassed. It wasn't like they didn't all think him crazy anyway.

The alpha strode from the building easily, and Eren kept his face covered by his hands   
"I've got to put you down for a second, I need to get my car keys"  
The alpha carefully stood him up, Eren's pyjama shirt caught and the alpha caught a glimpse of the baby bump  
"So you really are pregnant"  
Eren nodded, wondering if Erwin was going to leave him there because he was. The alpha unlocked the car and opened the door for him, Eren climbed in before the man could change his mind and tears finally filled his eyes. He was safe now. His whole body shook as he began to sob. He heard the door open and close and Erwin pulled him close  
"It's alright, you don't need to cry. Levi's not mad, he's been going crazy with worry though"  
Eren sniffled against Erwin  
"I didn't mean to hurt him... I... he took me... Levi's not safe at home..."  
Erwin pushed him back  
"What do you mean he's not safe?"  
"Dad knows where he lives... please... please make sure he's safe!"  
The idea that Grisha might go for the alpha left him terrified. He hadn't even thought about that fact, he'd been more concerned with getting back to Levi. He looked to Erwin pleadingly and the alpha nodded, pulling his phone out. Eren felt like he couldn't breathe. He listened to the phone ring on speak phone, but then a very annoyed "What!" came through. Eren let out a sob of relief  
"Levi. I can't explain, but where are you?"  
"At work. Where the fuck else would I be?"  
"Stay there. It's important and it's about Eren. I can't explain, but whatever you do, don't leave"  
"What about Eren!"  
"Levi. Promise me you won't leave"  
"Erwin, if you fucking know something"  
"I do! That's why I'm coming to see you in person"  
"Fine. I'll be in my office"  
Eren mouthed to Erwin "lock the door"  
"Levi, keep the door locked until I get there"  
The call ended and Erwin looked to Eren   
"Are you sure this is necessary"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"My dad... he's crazy... he would hurt Levi and feel nothing"  
Erwin nodded and put his seatbelt on, waiting for Eren to do the same  
"You try and get some rest, its about an hours drive from here to the college"  
For Eren it was almost laughable how close they'd been in the grand scheme of things.


	21. Chapter 21

Eren couldn't stop the tears of relief and cried the whole car ride, completely exhausted by the time Erwin finally slowed and then parked. The alpha helped him with his seatbelt, before undoing his own and climbing from the car. He opened Eren's door and lifted him out like it was the most natural thing to do. This time Eren snaked his arms around Erwin's neck and hid his face against the alphas chest   
"Thank you"  
"Don't thank me yet. You haven't explained anything and if it wasn't for how much you mean to Levi, I would have left you at that coffee shop"  
Eren nodded, unsurprised at the alpha's words. Their silent time together obviously had the man trying to guess what had happened and Eren wasn't sure he wanted to know what story Erwin had constructed in his head.

With Erwin's long stride, they made it across the grass and into the English department easily, Erwin seemed to know where he was going, so Eren kept his mouth shut, afraid if he opened it, he'd wind up throwing up from nerves. He was so very close to Levi now and had no idea how the alpha would react to seeing him. He let out a small whine of distress without meaning too and Erwin ignored it. When they reached Levi's door, Erwin looked down at him and Eren carefully released his hold, and knocked lightly. He closed his eyes, half expecting Levi start yelling as the door opened. Instead Levi let out a very broken half sob  
"Eren"  
The alpha took his face in his hands, nuzzling against him as Eren tried to hug him back, it wasn't exactly easy given Erwin was holding him. Levi peppered kisses to Eren's lips and Eren couldn't get enough. Levi was alive and safe and that was all that mattered. Erwin cleared his throat   
"Sorry to interrupt, but someone owes us some answers, you might have forgiven him already, but I haven't"  
Levi nodded against Eren's face   
"Here, I'll take him"  
Eren felt himself being passed to the shorter alpha and wrapped his arms tighter around Levi. He wasn't about to blow this chance. Not now he had him back.

Levi carried him over to the sofa and lowered himself so Eren stayed on his lap  
"I... where have you been?"  
Eren nuzzled into Levi's neck  
"It's a long story"  
Erwin snapped form beyond his vision  
"We've got all fucking afternoon"  
And Eren heard Levi growl   
"It's alright. I hurt you... I'm so sorry"  
"It's fine. All that matters is you're here now"  
"Levi. He's pregnant"  
Levi tensed beneath him and Eren didn't know what to say  
"Is that why you ran away? Because you found out you were pregnant?"  
The omega winced at Levi's cold words   
"I... I didn't run away... is the door locked?"  
"What do you mean is the door locked? Eren, just tell me what happened"  
"Not until I know your safe"  
Eren felt Levi look up and heard Erwin move, it took less than a second it seemed for the man to cross to the door and announce the door was locked. 

With the door locked, Eren sighed   
"I didn't run away"  
"Then what the hell happened?"  
"Dad found me"  
Levi tensed further and Eren gagged on the angry sent pouring off the man   
"So his dad found him? How is that a bad thing?"  
"They have a history"  
"Levi..."  
"Just drop it. Eren, what do you mean? You should have been safe"  
"Do you remember that day... when I'd been so scared you set all the blankets up in the walk-in-robe?"  
"I remember and I remember you running away"  
He deserved the subtle dig  
"I. I woke up and the door was open and it smelt really weird... and I didn't know if you'd been home or something... so I checked the house... but I was alone"  
Even though he wasn't looking at Levi, he could picture the man's frown  
"So I grabbed my phone to call you. But when I unlocked, it took me straight to a photo of me sleeping in there while you were home and I panicked... I was so scared he was waiting for me... and I ran"  
Levi nodded  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"You saw what happened to my phone. You know I've had hallucinations before. I didn't think you'd believe me without the photos and I didn't want to scare you"  
"So that's why you wanted to die? Because you thought he was back?"  
Eren nodded and sniffled, Levi's feee hand came up and wiped at his eyes   
"I wish you'd told me brat... I-I thought you'd killed yourself"  
Levi buried his face in Eren's hair and Eren could feel the man's tears   
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was such a bad omega. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry Levi"  
Levi pressed a hard kiss to the top of Eren's head  
"I understand"

"Well I don't. What the fuck are you two talking about and that doesn't explain why Eren's pregnant or where he's been for the last 2 and a half months"  
"I wasn't sick before I left..."  
"Morning sickness... I didn't even think of that"  
"I didn't either... that shot was supposed to last 6 months and..."  
Levi knew the and without him saying it  
"Can I?"  
Eren nodded and Levi repositioned himself so that he could lay his hands on Eren's stomach  
"I can't believe this"  
The alpha sounded shocked, but not mad, though Eren needed to hear it  
"You aren't mad? I mean... I don't know who the father is..."  
Levi shook his head   
"I'm the father. No matter what"  
More tears slid down Eren's face and Levi nuzzled his neck as the alphas hands moved gently across the swell   
"Levi! Stop being so irrational! Yes Eren is back, but why? Why now!?"

Eren let out a shaky breath  
"Dad... I didn't take those meds... I'd wait until you'd left to wash them down the sink and that day, dad was waiting. I thought you'd finally got sick of me... that you realised it just wasn't worth it. The door was supposed to be locked, but there he was. He-he told me you weren't real, that you were in my head and that we'd never met. I tried to fight him, but he drugged me"  
Levi snarled and Eren whimpered  
"Shit. I'm sorry, but I'm going to fucking skin your father alive"  
"Levi!"  
Erwin's voice came as a warning and Levi buried his head against Eren's neck  
"He took me to some kind of hospital... and kept me drugged... that some one as before. I was awake but couldn't move and he told me over and over you weren't real and how he'd been so worried and how pretty much the only thing that had been real was staying with Jean... he'd been watching me this whole time... he kept saying mum was alive and how happy she was that I was pregnant and how they were going to raise the baby together and it all rolled into one... I was so fucking scared, but even then there was nothing I could do"  
"He didn't?"  
"No... sponge baths and stretching my arms and legs was all"  
Levi still growled  
"Jean... he somehow got Jean to come and visit. He told Jean how I was fucking crazy and I'd been this way since I was a kid, making up all these fantasies. He knew where I was. He knew you were looking for me, but told me he didn't feel like telling you..."  
Levi snarled loudly and his fingertips dug into Eren's stomach until the omega was whimpering front he pressure  
"Levi... please it hurts"  
The alpha snapped out of it immediately, he slid Eren's pyjama shirt back down and wrapped his arms around the omegas stomach  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you"  
Eren nodded, he knew Levi was hurting as bad as he was, probably even more. 

"Dad started to wean me off the meds, he was so fucking happy when I hit 12 weeks. I don't know how he knew how far along I was, but I wouldn't be surprised if he drugged me to sleep longer just so he could do tests. I can't say how long it was but Jean came back, this time with Marco"  
Levi nodded  
"I though Marco was your friend?"  
"Obviously not. He seemed to concerned and I tried to write help on his hand, he seemed to get it. But Jean had given him his mark..."  
"I know you don't like violence, but I really wish I'd done more than break his nose"  
Eren nodded  
"I kind of do too. He told me that you couldn't love me, not like this"  
Levi pressed a kiss to Eren's neck   
"I will always love you, everyday no matter what"  
Eren ignored Levi's words. He had to get this all out, everything had left him so exhausted that he was barely awake and Levi was so warm and real that he couldn't help but feel safe with him  
"I thought Marco must have contacted you, because he moved me. He drugged me from the hospital and when I woke up I was in this house. All the windows wouldn't open and the door had a pin pad and there was this woman there. She kept saying she was my mum, over and over, like she truly thought she was. It was so fucking scary, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. So I had to wait. I played her son, and I'd walk in the room they told me was mine. I had to built my strength back up. I had to be ready and then today, she was rushing around, so I snuck downstairs and when she opened the door. I... I shoved her out and ran"  
Eren let out a loud sob, and Levi moved him back so the teen was in his lap with his legs over Levi's left one. The alpha took his face in his hands   
"I am so fucking proud of you. You did what had to and you came back to me"  
Eren sniffled and Levi leant in to kiss him deeply. The omega melted into kiss, before pulling back and yawning   
"S'rry"  
"No. It's alright, you need to get some sleep"  
Eren nodded and closed his eyes, letting Levi hold him close, despite how desperately tired he was, his brain was having trouble switching off   
"Levi, What the fuck? That doesn't even sound possible"  
Eren tensed, he could feel himself, but Levi hushed him  
"If you knew the things we do, you'd know that his father is mentally unstable. The man took off and now it turns out he was stalking Eren all this time"  
"Then why didn't he come sooner?"  
"I don't know. But I can't take him home. I need to find somewhere safe, just the two of us"  
"You can't be serious"  
"Erwin. I get that you don't know what's going on and I you have no idea how grateful I am that you brought Eren to me. But right now, I need to take him from here and find somewhere safe"  
Erwin let out a long sigh  
"I fucking give up. Do as you please, but don't come to me when everything goes south"

Eren's chest tightened, he couldn't blame Erwin at all. It sounded like the plot of a bad book, only they were the leading characters. He didn't want Erwin hating Levi, not now and not over this. He forced himself to mumble the words out  
"Tell him..."  
Levi let out a small sigh  
"Are you sure?"  
Eren gave a nod  
"Erwin, wait. We haven't told you everything. There are some things you don't know about Eren's past"


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must stop writing other stories while working on current ones

Eren had fallen asleep on Levi's lap, and the alpha gently shook him awake. Erwin was now sitting at Levi's desk and Eren swallowed, before trying to find his voice   
"Did you tell him?"  
Levi nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead   
"Yeah, well some of it"  
Eren nodded and continued to stare at Erwin   
"What do we do now?"  
Erwin cleared his throat  
"We should talk to the police"  
Eren shook his head quickly and Erwin's eyes narrowed   
"Dads a doctor remember, all my files will say I'm crazy and that this is all in my head"  
"But you have us"  
"And you haven't witnessed anything!"  
For two ridiculously educated men, nether alpha seemed to be getting it and Eren sighed deeply  
"Look, I don't want to fight, I just want this all to be over..."  
Levi nodded and kissed him on the forehead again  
"Okay, so what do we do?"  
"We can't go home. Dad knows where you live"  
"Then we'll go to a hotel for now"  
"You couldn't both stay with me for now, at least until you can figure out what to do next"  
Eren shook his head  
"That just puts you in danger"  
Erwin raised an eyebrow   
"Maybe we should Eren, you need rest and food"  
"And I need you to be safe. Anyone could have seen Erwin picking me up!"  
"That's true..."  
"So we need to be smart about this!"

Despite Eren's protests, Levi decided that staying with Erwin temporarily would be for the best and Eren felt like they didn't understand the gravity of the situation. His dad would be furious, and he was scared of just what that would mean and the lengths his father would go to, to get him back. Besides given Grisha had been watching him for so long, it was entirely possible that the man already knew where Erwin lived, but both alpha's didn't seem to care.

Leaving Levi's office, Eren was held tightly in Levi's arms. Erwin had gathered the man's things and locked the office behind them, now walking ahead of them like some kind of bodyguard as they moved to the man's car. Levi only placed him down when they reached the car, Eren climbed into the back and Levi hurried in after him, pulling him back against him. The omega soon fell asleep against the alpha... his alpha... he had Levi back again and he wasn't going to let anyone ever take him away.

The alpha shook him gently awake when they arrived at Erwin's, Eren blinked sleepily at Levi, reminding himself that the man was indeed real and clung to Levi as the exited the car and started towards the front door. Erwin let them in and lead them upstairs to the spare room and for the first time since their reunion, they were left alone.

*  
Levi's fingers shook as he unbuttoned Eren's flimsy pyjama shirt and the omega shivered under the alphas gaze. It seemed that Levi was checking for any signs of abuse and Eren shook his head  
"He didn't hurt me"  
"I know that's what you said... but I've been so scared"  
Trying to offer Levi a small smile didn't seem to help  
"I promise he didn't..."  
Levi's hands still wandered across this body and the alpha leant in to kiss him hungrily, Eren moaned into the kiss, it felt so good to be touched by the man after so many weeks without him. Levi pulled back from the kiss and rested his forehead against Eren's shoulder  
"I love you and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you"  
Eren shook his head  
"You did everything right, even when I was being so stupid, you were always there... I've had a lot of time to think about everything..."  
Levi nodded against him, before moving up and kissing him again  
"I was so sure you hated me"  
"No... you're the only good thing that has ever happened to me"  
Pulling back, Levi's grey eyes stared into his  
"I tried so hard to find you, but when nothing came up I was convinced that was because you didn't want to be found"  
The alpha sounded so sad and guilty that Eren took the initiative, leaning in and pushing his lips firmly to Levi's, the alpha moaned into the kiss and the man's hands began to slide up and down his chest and stomach  
"Levi..."  
The alpha nodded and gently nudged Eren back so Levi was straddling his lap  
"You are so beautiful..."  
The omega shook his head quickly and Levi slid from his lap  
"We should sleep"  
Eren was confused, he wanted the alpha to touch him more and knew Levi felt it too...  
"Can... can we shower first?"  
The alpha nodded and helped him back up  
"I'll show you where the bathroom is"

Taking his hand, Levi led Eren down the hall and to a room on the left  
"Take your time"  
When the alpha turned to leave, Eren grabbed his arm  
"Stay..."  
Levi drew his brow together  
"I don't think that's a good idea"  
Eren pulled Levi into the room, wrapping his arms around the alpha  
"Please. I'm scared this will be another dream"  
Levi sighed as he nodded and moved from Eren's hold to close the door. Eren stripped from his pyjama pants and felt Levi's eyes taking in his naked form  
"Can you help me shower?"  
It didn't seem like Levi was going to move otherwise and Eren had thought so very long and hard about what being with Levi meant. He wanted to give himself over to the alpha completely and have Levi kiss the pain away. He didn't know how he'd respond when things got physical, but he knew he wanted to try. He stepped closer to Levi and tugged on the alphas shirt, his gaze dropped to his feet   
"Please..."  
"How can I say no when you look like that, go start the shower"  
Eren nodded and moved over to the shower, it was an overhead model and Eren hoped the pressure would be adequate for the both of them, or it was going to be slightly awkward and cold.

The omega turned the taps until the water ran the hot side of warm, the spray seemed to reach the walls of the shower and he stepped into the warmth. The house he'd been held in had lousy pressure and each shower he'd had required having the door open. He swallowed when he turned to see Levi standing naked before him, the alpha hesitated before stepping in, but once he had, Eren drew him in close  
"Thank you"  
"What for?"  
"For listening to me. For always being there for me. For putting up with me... take your pick"  
Levi shook his head  
"You have nothing to thank me for, I couldn't even save you"  
"Can... can we not? I don't want to think about it... not now"  
Levi nodded and wrapped his arms around Eren's waist, Eren nuzzled against Levi's face until the man finally looked up at him properly  
"I couldn't say it before. But I love you Levi..."  
Levi's lips smashed hard against his and Eren found himself pushed against the wall as the alpha devoured his mouth, Eren whined and moaned as he tried to deepen the kiss. He wanted Levi to understand and feel what he felt for the alpha. When the kiss broke, both panted for air and Levi pulled back to stare up at him  
"Are you sure?"  
"I don't know... but I want to try..."  
Levi nodded and sank to his knees, and Eren's eyes rolled back as the alpha moved to take his half hard erection into his mouth  
"Shit Levi..."  
He felt himself slicking hard as Levi began to suck and his fingers threaded into Levi's hair, moaning as the alpha began to slide his lips around him. The smell of Levi's arousal had him mewing for more and when Levi pulled back Eren groaned  
"Turn around for me?"  
Eren nodded and Levi moved back so he could move. He tensed when Levi's fingers rubbed against his slick opening, and whined when the alpha slid his finger inside to start opening him  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded quickly, his heart was racing and he wanted to tell Levi to stop, but he wanted... needed to feel the alpha. To feel the connection between them. He winced as a second finger slid in and groaned when Levi accidentally brushed his sweet spot inside. The alpha quickly stabbed back against the same spot and Eren let out another groan  
"Levi..."  
Given how wet and eager he was, the alpha obeyed, sliding his fingers free and his hands grabbed Eren's hips, pulling him back slightly from the wall  
"If you need to stop?"  
Eren shook his head and felt Levi move to line himself up, he sucked in a breath as the alpha slowly slid inside and moaned from the sensation of being so filled by the man he loved  
"Eren... you're so prefect!"  
Eren couldn't reply, he was biting down on his bottom lip too hard, not sure what to say or do, but Levi took control, waiting for him to adjust before slowly sliding out and pushing in harder. Levi gradually built his rhythm and Eren mewed as he clung to the wall, he'd already been close when Levi slid in and wasn't going to last much longer. As if reading his thoughts, Levi's hand slid down and began to jerk him gently and he let out a cry as he came across the man's hand. He felt Levi go to pull out and whined  
"Don't stop..."  
The alpha slammed hard again him and Eren swore he saw stars, it seemed his orgasm had triggered something in his mate and Levi bit down hard on his shoulder as he fucked him harder. When Levi's knot flared and triggered Eren's second orgasm, the teens knees gave out, and Levi held him up by his hips, while peppering kisses against his shoulders  
"So beautiful and so perfect. I love you Eren"  
"I love you to Levi"  
Both mates panted against the shower wall until Levi's knot finally deflated and the alpha slid free  
"Let's get you showered and dried"  
Eren nodded sleepily and Levi carefully cleaned him. It was terribly sweet the way the man kissed his stomach and butterflies erupted inside the teen. He truly did love this man.

Unable to walk from bathroom, Levi carried him back to the bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed  
"Do you think you can eat?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm sorry I'm sleepy"  
Levi smiled  
"It's fine, lets sleep and then think about food"  
The alpha helped him under the covers and slid in after him, pulling him against his chest and Eren was acutely aware they were both very naked, but Levi's warmth felt amazing. He nuzzled against the alphas chest  
"I really missed you"  
"I missed you too brat"  
Eren sniffled slightly, not sure why tears had rushed to his eyes  
"This is real right?"  
"Yeah. This is real and I'll be here when you wake up"  
Eren nodded and his fingers gripped against Levi. He let himself fall asleep in the alphas hold.

*  
Levi was still there when he awoke, the alpha was quietly watching him sleep and Eren gave him a small shy smile  
"Hey you"  
"Hey..."  
"Did you sleep alright?"  
Eren nodded, he hadn't woken up screaming and couldn't even remember his dream  
"How long was I asleep?"  
"Not sure, a couple of hours. I woke up not that long ago"  
Levi gently rolled Eren back and moved between the omegas legs, Eren wasn't sure what Levi wanted. But the alpha moved to hug him tightly with his head against Eren's stomach  
"I was scared this was a dream to. That is gone crazy and finally lost it"  
Eren didn't know how to respond, instead raising his hand, he placed it carefully on Levi's head  
"I think it's going to take us both a little while to readjust"  
Levi nodded and curled up tighter a top Eren's stomach  
"I can't believe you're pregnant... I never really knew if I wanted kids, but... I want this one and I want you. Promise you won't leave me again"  
"I promise, but only if you promise not to keep blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong"  
Levi didn't reply and Eren gently stroked the man's hair. Levi uncurled and slid up, gently kissing Eren   
"We should get up"  
Eren shook his head  
"Can we just stay like this a little longer?"  
"Anything you want"  
Light kisses and touches soon turned serious and Eren found himself rocking his hips up against Levi and alpha seemed just as as hungry. He didn't pause to ask permission, instead pushing in suddenly and they both moaned in unison. Levi didn't hold back and Eren was grateful, he needed to feel Levi's knot and every thrust had his whole body shaking and singing. He toes began to curl and Levi growled as his knot popped, both cumming hard and Levi collapsed down against him, his whole frame shook as Eren felt the man pulsing hard inside him, they both wound up falling asleep still tangled together like that and both regretted it when they awoke later.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I fixed it... sorry for all the mini heart attacks

Although Levi had taken time off work, and the alpha was by his side the whole time, Eren found himself growing more and more anxious as he waited for his father to make his move. Every morning when Erwin left, Eren wondered if the man would be coming home and if he did, what state he'd be in. The omega was growing scared of the same walls, the same routine, and standing still. He wanted to leave, but Levi insisted they were safe, at least for now and Eren could only pray his alpha was right.

Levi hummed as he flopped down on the sofa next to Eren and Eren sighed, he knew Levi was bored. Apparently he'd read everything in Erwin's personal library and after that afternoon of intimacy, they hadn't had sex again and Eren wasn't sure what to make of it all. He was half tempted to pull Levi against him as they sat there, but he was thinking too much of his father and that didn't put him in "the mood", in any way, shape or form. Levi hummed again and Eren sighed  
"I'm sorry you're bored"  
The alpha frowned as he turned to face the omega  
"I'm not bored, I just don't know what to do. Erwin got mad because I cleaned his kitchen, so now I'm not allowed to clean at all"  
Eren sighed again  
"Only you, could be upset over being told you can't clean"  
Levi swatted his arm softly   
"Without anything to do, I can't stop thinking about that piece of shit father of yours. I wish I knew how to track him down"  
Eren shook his head  
"No, you know we can't make the first move"  
"I know you said we can't, but fuck. I'm not made for this sitting still shit. Not when you both could be in danger"

Levi had become a lot more confident with referring to Eren as both, the alpha loved to lay his head against his stomach and Eren wondered if Levi know what those touches meant to him. The omega gave a third sigh and pushed himself from the sofa  
"Come on, lets go nap. There's nothing else we can do"  
Levi nodded, though clearly still brooding as he did, and when Eren reached out, the alpha took his hand and let the teen pull him up. Levi held his hand tight as he lead him up to the guest room and helped him from his shirt, before pulling the blankets back for him. It was all so sweet and with the fear of Grisha's next move, Eren's anxieties were beginning to return. It was far too sweet and caring for him to deserve, but he didn't say anything, he wanted to enjoy what time they had before the bubble popped.

Laying in Levi's arms, Eren nuzzled the alphas neck, he yawned lightly and Levi tightened his hold around him  
"Should I be worried you love this bed more than me?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm just really tired... but at least I'm not throwing my guts up all the time"  
Levi nodded  
"You have no idea how worried I was over all of that"  
Eren had a fair idea, given this wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation, he let out another yawn  
"Sorry"  
"It's alright. I love you brat"  
Eren nodded and closed his eyes, he breathed in Levi's scent and felt himself relaxing further. 

*  
Eren woke panicking, Levi wasn't in bed with him and his heart was racing, he had no idea what had awoken him, only that he was suddenly terrified. Pulling the blanket around him, Eren stumbled from the room  
"Levi!"  
Hearing no response Eren checked the bathroom and found it empty. He stumbled from the room and winced as pain flared across his stomach   
"Shhhh bubba..."  
He wrapped the blanket around himself tighter and began to move downstairs. He frowned at the open door, and wondered if he was still dreaming. His throat had tightened and his mouth was dry, still, he stumbled through the house, desperately looking for Levi. Walking into the kitchen, he thought his heart had stopped. Levi was laying on the floor bleeding and Eren staggered back. The alpha was ashen and the blood pool seemed to take up half the floor. He staggered back further, until he fell backwards and hit the the floor hard. He let out a small cry, too shocked and scared to move. He closed his eyes, trying to remember how to breathe, but when he closed his eyes, Levi became his mother and he let out a scream as he clutched at his head. He screamed and screamed, but the sound seemed so far away.

"Eren!"  
Eren jumped, completely confused by the warm wet thing touching his face. His eyes widened as he realised Levi had dragged himself from the kitchen  
"Levi... you..."  
"I know... Eren, you need to calm an ambulance. Can you do that for me?"  
Eren nodded, and Levi pressed a bloody phone into his hand, he frowned at the device, trying to remember how to use one  
"You can do this brat"  
Eren nodded, taking a deep breath while oblivious to the tears running down his face. He began to panic when the realised that he didn't know Erwin's address and held the phone to Levi's ear, the alpha hissed the words out and gave him a nod. Eren didn't know what it was supposed to mean, but put the phone down with shaking hands  
"You did good. My fingers were too wet to get it to work"  
Levi coughed and it was like he was moving in slow motion as he slumped sideways and Eren grabbed him  
"Levi!"  
The alpha didn't reply and Eren shook Levi hard  
"Levi!"  
"No, no, no, no! Come on Levi!"  
Eren shook the alpha, but Levi didn't respond and he ignored the pain that was beginning to fill his senses, he didn't have time to worry about himself. Levi needed help. He'd failed his mother, but he could still help Levi.

His fingers shook as the undid the alphas shirt, blood had stained the white fabric a vivid red and Eren tried to find the source of the bleed. His fingers slipped and he whimpered as his pants grew wetter. He was so sure Levi was about to die. Sliding his fingers up, he finally found the wound site, it was just below Levi's shoulder blade on the left hand side and Eren balled the alphas shirt over it as he pushed down  
"Levi... please don't leave me... I don't want to be alone... not anymore"

It seemed to take forever for sirens to register in his hazy brain, and when the paramedics finally entered, everything seemed to happen so fast. He was moved back from Levi, by some short woman who kept trying to get his attention, but he couldn't focus. She tried to make him stand, but he couldn't and she seemed as confused as he was over everything happening. Someone came in and once again they tried to move him further away, this time both of them pulled him up, but his knees wouldn't hold him and the pair exchanged looks. He didn't like it.

 

*  
"Eren!"  
Eren's eyes flew open and he shot ip, taking in a desperate gulping breath. Beneath him was soaked and his darted around the room frantically  
"Eren! Look at me!"  
Levi's hands came to cup his face firmly. The teens eyes widened and and he let out a hard sob and grabbed the alpha desperately   
"Shhh... I'm here... it was just a dream"  
Eren shook his head, hissing at the pain in his stomach   
"Come on Eren, deep breaths"  
Eren sobbed whole heartedly against Levi while the alpha rubbed his back gently and hushed him. It seemed forever before he could remember how to breathe. He shook as he finally tried to detangle from Levi, but the alpha just continued to hold him  
"I... I need to shower..."  
Levi nodded  
"Alright, lets get you up"

Eren wrapped his legs around Levi's waist as the alpha carried him from the bedroom, the man didn't even seem to care that he was covered in piss as the alpha supported him by the arse. Levi sat him down on the counter, before moving to to start the shower and Eren clutched at his stomach whimpering  
"Eren? What's wrong? It is the baby?"  
Eren sniffled  
"I'm cramping..."  
Levi's eyes widened  
"Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll get you help"  
Eren nodded, he let Levi help him down and strip off his ruined pants, before the alpha stripped himself. Eren's eyes widened and he lunged at his alpha, the man's skin was soft and smooth  
"I... I was so sure it was real"  
"It was just a dream"  
Levi supported Eren to the shower and the omega slumped against him   
"Here, I've got you"  
Levi washed him down carefully while Eren tried his best to calm down, he was just so exhausted and their child wouldn't stop moving  
"Here, put your hands against the wall so I can do your back properly"  
Eren let Levi place his hands against the wall and the omega whined as Levi began to massage him down  
"Better?"  
Eren nodded, his heart was still racing, but Levi's touch was helping. They stayed under the water until it began to cool and the alpha helped him back to their room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Levi knelt between his legs and placed his head against the swell of Eren's stomach   
"Does is still hurt?"  
Eren nodded slowly, biting down on his bottom lip as he did  
"I know you hate hospitals, but we can't ignore this"  
Eren nodded, he'd already been thinking the same thing. Levi grabbed the clothes Erwin had brought for him, and then the towel, taking his time to dry Eren down gently before helping him dress  
"I'll call a taxi when we get downstairs"  
Eren nodded as he kept his gaze on his stomach as Levi dressed.

When a horn blared from outside Eren jumped, he'd been chewing on his lip the whole time they'd been sitting on the sofa and he looked to Levi   
"It's alright, I'm here"  
The teen nodded slowly and Levi helped him from the sofa, the man's arm firmly around Eren's sore waist. When the alpha opened the door, Eren's eyes widened and he tried to back away. He hadn't realised before, but the house Grisha had held him in was straight across the road. He let out a whine and stumbled  
"What is it?"  
Eren shook his head, unable to find the words. If he told right now, it was entirely possible the alpha would flip and Eren needed to get away from Erwin's as soon as possible  
"We need to go"  
Levi nodded and began to lead him from the house, Eren could feel the tension in the alpha and every step had him quaking in fear. By the time they reached the taxi, the pain in his stomach was nearly unbearable. He whimpered as he slid into the backseat, and Levi slid in quickly before pulling the teen into his lap, the alpha practically shouted at the taxi driver to take them to the nearest hospital and Eren kept his face buried against Levi's neck. He was so fucking scared something was wrong. It felt wrong. Their child wasn't happy at all and he knew it was his fault.


	24. Chapter 24

The pain was so bad that Eren couldn't walk, Levi was clearly panicking and it did nothing to ease Eren's own fears. The alpha carried him from the taxi and into the crowded Emergency Room, before yelling for help. Eren whined as a nurse rushed over to them and Levi started explaining what was wrong. The woman lead them straight through and Eren was placed gently down on an empty bed  
"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to wait in the waiting room while we examine him"  
Levi snarled and the woman shrank back  
"Please... please let him stay"  
His words sounded distant as he huffed them out, the smell of the antiseptic had replaced Levi's comforting smell and he struggled not to throw up as the woman tried to get him to lay down  
"Please..."  
Tears were streaming down the omegas face and Levi was holding his hand so tightly  
"I need to get the doctor on duty..."  
The woman practically ran from the couple and Eren tried to curl into a ball  
"Shhh... you need to keep trying to take deep breaths for me"  
Eren nodded, it wasn't like he wasn't already trying, but he was just too scared and his senses had gone into overdrive. He kept waiting for his father to show up and for Levi to be dragged away.

When the doctor finally showed up, Eren kept his eyes firmly closed, the man wasn't his father, but he still had the same vibe and he couldn't stand to look at the man. Levi explained that Eren had had a nightmare and his past history of abuse. The man hummed but it was in clear uncertainty   
"Eren, I'm going to give you a mild sedative, it will help you calm down enough so we can find out what's going on with your baby"  
Eren shook his head furiously  
"Eren, I'm not leaving, he's not going to restrain you, I promise I'll be right here"  
Despite his clear refusal, the omega still felt a prick and Levi hushed him through it. It took a few minutes before the drugs began to take effect and he found he could breathe just a little bit easier.

As promised, Levi didn't leave, even when the doctor seemed to be poking and prodding him for no good reason. His brain had thrown logic out the window. He knew each touch didn't come from his father, but that was how it felt and he was so exhausted as he struggled to stay awake, repeating to himself over and over he couldn't fall asleep. The tests seemed to drag on, before finally he was allowed to curl back up and Levi moved to sit by his side, the alphas hand rested on Eren's stomach and when Levi began to talk, he knew the alpha wasn't talking to him  
"What happened? Is the baby alright?"  
"Eren went into premature labour, but we've administered drugs to stop it, we still need to keep an eye on him, so we'll be admitting him over night"  
Eren let out a choked sniffle   
"So the baby will be alright?"  
"With the help of the sedatives, the foetus had settled, but I'm more concerned with Eren's health. His blood pressure is through the roof and we'll need to monitor it closely"  
If he wasn't feeling so miserably, he would have laughed at the man's words. Of course his blood pressure was sky high... the man excused himself and Levi slid up the bed, laying out so that they were face to face. The man's slender fingers traced over his cheeks as the alpha wiped away his tears  
"It's going to be alright, you're both going to be alright"  
Eren nodded, he wanted to believe the alpha and he sniffled again  
"I'm sorry... I was so scared"  
"I know, that must have been one hell of a nightmare"  
"Dad... dad had shot you and I couldn't... I kept seeing mum and I couldn't move to help you..."  
Levi hushed him and nuzzled against his face  
"It's alright, I'm here and that arsehole hasn't shot me"  
"It was so real"  
Levi pressed kisses to Eren's cheek  
"I know"  
The combination of drugs and everything else, soon robbed him of consciousness and he fell asleep while Levi was still nuzzling his face.

 

*  
The pain had lessened when he awoke, Levi was still firmly plastered against him and Eren groaned gently as he tried to sit  
"Eren?"  
Levi's grey eyes blinked away the sleep and Eren tried to smile through his fear  
"It's alright, I just need to use the bathroom"  
"Let me help you"  
A dusting of red swept across Eren's face and Levi pinched the bridge of his nose  
"I meant to the bathroom"  
Eren nodded and the alpha helped detangle him from the sheets and the heart rate monitor. The machine beeped its protest, but Levi shook his head  
"Just go to the toilet"

When Eren returned an angry looking nurse was standing and muttering something to herself and Eren hesitantly moved back to the bed and Levi helped him back up   
"How are you feeling Mr Yeager?"  
Eren bit his lip and nodded   
"I'm afraid I don't speak nod"  
"Better, I'm still a little sore, but nothing like it was"  
The woman huffed and Levi moved to pull his omega close  
"When can I take him home?"  
"I don't know, I expect the doctor will be around within the next few hours"  
The cranky woman insisted he needed to be reconnected, and Eren eyed everything in disgust, if it wasn't for their baby, he definitely would have done a runner. With Levi mentioning home, Eren realised he hadn't told Levi what her realised and the alpha grabbed his arm  
"What is it?"  
The teen shook his head and cast a glance to the nurse and Levi remained on edge until the woman left  
"You need to call Erwin, he's not safe"  
Levi frowned  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"I realised something and I feel so stupid, but I never looked outside while we were at Erwin's... Levi, the house across the road from him is where dad kept me... he knows I've been there and now I'm not... there's nothing stopping him from going after Erwin for helping me"  
Levi's face paled and he fumbled his phone out, the alpha whispered "pick up", over and over, as the phone rang, until Erwin's voice came through and they both let out deep breaths of relief. Levi quickly explained that Eren was in hospital, detangling himself temporarily and jogging over to check the room number, almost yelling at the man that he needed to get there right now. Eren worried that Levi had taken it too far and that Erwin would think that something was really really wrong, but the alpha soon hung up and the omega said nothing. 

Erwin came running in, sweat rolling down his face and was obviously panicked  
"What's wrong!"  
Eren looked at Levi and Levi bit his lip as if not feeling guilty at all  
"Eren, are you alright?"  
"Yeah... I am now..."  
"Then what was with phone call!"  
"Eren remembered something important and he was worried for your safety"  
"Worried about me? He's the one in hospital"  
"Stress induced labour, but he and the baby are fine now. Do you know your neighbours across the road from you?"  
Erwin frowned, he crossed to sit in the visitors chair and looked at both of them  
"No, not really, they moved in a few months ago. I see the woman sometimes, but not her husband since they moved in"  
Levi nodded and Eren curled closer to the man  
"That... I didn't realise because I never looked outside, but that house. That was where Grisha held me..."  
Erwin's eyes went wide and then his face went grim  
"Are you serious?"  
"He's certain"  
Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose  
"Alright, how long until Eren's discharged?"  
"We don't know yet"  
The alpha pushed himself up  
"I'll find the doctor, and then we need to find somewhere else to lay low"

The doctor insisted on another ultrasound before Eren could be discharged, the omega was also given a prescription for sedatives and told to make a doctors appointment for a follow up. Eren nodded mechanically, his hands holding the only ultrasound print out they had to date. This was their child  
"Earth to Eren?"  
The omega jumped and looked up to see Erwin staring down at him  
"Sorry, what was that?"  
"Erwin was suggesting maybe you'd like to change out of this shitty gown before we leave"  
Eren nodded quickly and carefully handed the photo to Erwin, so Levi could help him from the bed  
"Pants first"  
Levi nodded and set about helping dress Eren, the omega didn't even seem to realise his back was to Erwin as he stripped off the flimsy gown and Levi watched his friends eyes narrow in disgust, he gave the slightest shake of his head, but Erwin didn't look away. The alpha forced himself to focus on helping Eren into the black long sleeve shirt he'd been wearing the day before and gave the teen a small kiss once done  
"Ok, let's get a hotel room for now and then we'll plan our next move"  
Eren nodded and Levi wrapped his arms around him  
"Maybe we should just go home... there's a good chance Grisha will make his next move if we go"  
Eren shook his head  
"I can't go back there"  
Erwin sighed  
"I understand what you must be thinking, but I honestly feel this is the best course of action"  
"And what happens when he comes in and shoots Levi... I can't go through that again"  
Eren took a deep breath, his heart was starting to race and he didn't want to give them an excuse to keep him in this place any longer  
"No ones shot Levi..."  
"Erwin, I'm not risking it by taking him back to your place. Eren needs some place safe, where he can rest and know Grisha isn't just across the road, probably spying on our every move"  
"And that's why I think it's best we go home"  
"I'm sorry, but I can't and you shouldn't either"  
Levi released Eren and turned to face Erwin   
"Erwin, I really do think that we shouldn't head back there, not right now at least"  
The blonde alpha didn't look amused, but seemed to be prepared to listen to Levi over him. Making sure that all the forms were taken care of, the three left the hospital.


	25. Chapter 25

Levi paid for the hotel room, it was spilt so that there was a king bed in one room and a double in another. The alpha immediately guided Eren through to the king sized bed and the omega let out a sigh as he sat heavily down on the edge of it  
"I'm so sorry..."  
Eren's words hung in the silent room and the omega moved his hands to his stomach before continuing   
"I... I prayed he was gone... that I'd never see him again and now I've dragged you into this mess and it's not fair. I understand if you want to leave me behind. It'd probably safer for you and Erwin if you did"  
Tears began to form at the thought of trying to do everything alone, but he needed to give Levi an out. He couldn't blame the man if he took it, Grisha was terrifying and now they were hiding away in some hotel room like they were the ones who did something wrong. The bed dipped beside him and Levi pulled the omegas head to his chest  
"I'm not leaving. I love you and I'm going to stay with you, so don't think for a moment I'm not"  
"But you're in danger"  
"And so are you, and our child"  
"I'm used to it, you aren't"  
The alpha hushed him   
"Eren, you need to stay calm remember"  
"I know... I'm just so tired and scared and frustrated. I don't understand any of what he's doing or why"  
"The man's crazy, that's all there is to it"  
Eren nodded sadly and Levi kissed the top of his head  
"You should get some sleep, Erwin's going to pick up your prescription, is there anything else you want while he's out?"  
Eren shook his head  
"He doesn't need to pick the pills up. I don't want to take them"  
"I know you don't, but right now you're so stressed out over everything and we nearly lost the baby over it. Please, for me at least"  
Levi's words stung, but he felt himself nodding  
"Maybe you should go with him? To make sure he doesn't do anything stupid"  
Levi snorted   
"Erwin's not about to do anything crazy"  
"He doesn't believe me Levi and I'm worried that will get him hurt"  
"If I go with him, who's going protect you?"  
"You said I was safe right? I could take a shower..."  
"Without me?"  
Levi's tone was full of fake outrage and Eren smiled slightly  
"Yeah... I don't know why you like my body so much, it's hideous"  
"Hey! No, don't say that. I love you, all of you. Scars and all and Erwin will be fine on his own"  
Eren knew he wasn't going to win, and nodded slightly   
"Ok... I'm going to go to sleep"  
"What about that shower?"  
Eren shook his head and Levi pushed him back gently  
"I love you brat"  
"I love you to, Levi"  
The alpha helped him stand and strip before pulling the blankets up and Eren crawled in. The sheets smelt like bleach and he wondered if he should be worried, and without Levi next to him, the space felt massive. He heard Levi leave to go talk to Erwin and shifted so he was closer to the middle of the bed. He didn't want to take up all the space and leave Levi none, and though his stomach really wasn't that big, he felt massive. Burning his face against he pillow he concentrated on just breathing, one hand came to rub small circles on his stomach. It was crazy how in love he was with the life inside him and he hadn't even met them yet. The technician had said it was a boy, Eren hadn't wanted to know, but he didn't tell Levi that. As it was he was rubbish when it came to women, and highly doubted he could ever understand the female mind, so it was probably better it was a boy.

Levi returned a few minutes later and sat on the bed beside him, the man's fingers carded through his hair  
"I got the photo back off of Erwin"  
The small print was placed on the pillow beside his head and Eren nodded   
"Thank you"  
"It's all good. Erwin was talking about grabbing food while he was out, he wants to know what you will and won't eat"  
"I'm not really hungry"  
"I knew you'd say that, but this room has a refrigerator, so we can keep the left overs"  
"Maybe Chinese? But nothing too spicy"  
"Chinese sounds great. I'll pass the order on"  
The alpha disappeared from the bed again and then came back a few seconds later  
"Erwin's gone, and the chains on the door. No ones going to get in, so I propose taking a nap and showering if we have time"  
Eren rolled over and watched Levi strip down and then climb into bed, his hand felt for the photo behind him and once Levi was settled he curled against the man's chest  
"A boy..."  
"Yeah... I can't wait to meet him, I hope he looks just like you"  
Eren frowned   
"No... you... you're so much better looking than I am"  
Levi snorted  
"I'm short and cranky with narrow eyes"  
"I like your eyes, they really are an amazing shade of grey"  
"Your green ones are so much more amazing"  
Eren shook his head in denial. His eyes still on the print   
"I was scared. I thought I'd lost you... and then him... I was so used to being alone, but now it scares me so much"  
"That's because you had to grow up way too fast and you had to be strong for far too long. But now it's alright, you have me"  
Eren nodded and let Levi take the photo from his hold, he closed his eyes and listened to the man's steady heart beat. His mind wouldn't turn off, so he didn't get to fall asleep, but Levi did and he listened to the man's soft snores. Everything about Levi was so perfect. Now he'd let Levi in, he knew he couldn't love anyone the way he loved the alpha and wondered how he could love their child as much as he did, when Levi had all his heart.

Eren didn't know how much time had passed before there was a knock on the door and Levi yawned beneath him  
"That's probably Erwin"  
Eren nodded and slipped back so the alpha could climb from beneath the sheets   
"Do you want to come and eat?"  
Eren shook his head, but Levi still grabbed his hand and pulled him gently  
"You can share with me"  
Before he really knew what had happened, Levi had him wrapped tightly in a sheet and sitting on the sofa, while the man went and checked the door  
"It's Erwin"  
Eren heard the chain slide and the click of the handle as the door opened  
"No dramas?"  
"Not unless you count idiots who can't park"  
Levi laughed lightly and Eren heard the door close, it took Erwin a couple of seconds to cross to the L shapes sofa Eren was currently sitting on and the alpha placed two brown paper bags down on the table   
"I got a bit of a mix and its recommended the tablets be taken with food"  
Levi crossed back to Eren, sitting next to him before pulling him up so he was sitting in the man's lap. Erwin only rolled his eyes and pulled out the first white paper box, he said nothing as he passed it and a plastic fork over to Levi and Levi grinned at the man  
"You remembered?"  
"Of course I did. Eren is there anything you prefer?"  
The omega shook his head and Erwin passed him a box of food. Placing the first one down, Levi opened the second  
"Curried vegetables and rice or barbecue pork, vegetables and noodles"  
His stomach didn't like idea of either  
"Maybe just some cauliflower or broccoli..."  
Levi nodded and closed the box Erwin had passed him  
"You can eat mine"

Sitting in Levi's lap and having the alpha feed him was kind of nice. Levi wasn't a louder eater and Eren was thankful for it. Erwin had brought Eren a juice and beer for him and Levi. The smell of the beer nearly has him throwing up the few florets he'd eaten and once he'd downed the tablets, at Levi's request, he awkwardly excused himself to bed.

*  
The following morning found him waking as Levi's phone went off for what seemed like the millionth time. Even though it was on vibrate, the whole bedside table seemed to rattle and the teen wanted to throw the stupid thing across the room. He nuzzled against Levi's chest pulled his pillow over his head in an attempt to muffle the noise.

Whoever it was, they were persistent and Eren hated them. He was still exhausted and his head was throbbing, he didn't understand how one tiny device could have him so damn upset and felt like a fool. When it finally became too much, he slid from Levi's hold and padded through the hotel room to the bathroom. The lights of the room were blinding, and he flicked them back off with a sigh. He had no idea what time it was, but he was certain it was too early. Eren showered slowly, the hot water only made his headache worse and by the time he dragged himself out, he wanted to curl up and die. He grabbed the closest towel and wrapped it around himself as he walked back to bed. Levi was still snoring away and Eren grabbed the man's phone. He held the button until the prompt came up and turned it off, before drying down quickly and climbing back into bed.

Levi woke him a few hours later, the alpha was already dressed and Eren could hear Erwin beyond the bedroom door  
"W's wrong?"  
"The cops have been calling all morning, I must have turned my phone off. Apparently "someone" broke in and they want me to meet them at the house so we can do a walk through"  
Eren's eyes widened, and his head throbbed extra hard with the action  
"My laptop..."  
Levi nodded  
"I know, that's the first thing I thought of. Let's get dressed and head over, Grisha would be crazy to attempt anything while the police are there"  
Eren nodded and crawled to the edge of the bed, he frowned at the floor   
"What's wrong?"  
"I can't remember where you put my clothes"  
"Well, you left your underwear in the bathroom, but your shirt and pants are just here"  
The teen nodded, slightly embarrassed, and Levi came around the bed to help him dress   
"We can grab some more of our clothes while we're there..."  
"I don't know if anything there will fit me now. I'm so fucking fat"  
His lip shook and he closed his eyes  
"You aren't fat, you're pregnant. And I think it's sexy..."  
Eren shook his head   
"I don't want to fight, can you just help me dress?"  
The teen kept his eyes closed as Levi dressed him and groaned as the alpha helped him up  
"Are you alright? You look a bit pale"  
"Headache"  
"Maybe you should stay here then?"  
"No"  
Eren's reply was firm and he winced at the loudness of his voice, Levi laughed awkwardly   
"No mistaking that one"

 

*  
Erwin was silent as he drove to Levi's and Eren tried to nap in the back of the man's car, but the drive seemed over before it began and he was soon being supported by Levi as they made their way to the front door  
"I'm Levi Ackerman, this is my omega Eren, he lives here too"  
The officer nodded  
"Do you happen to have identification?"  
Levi had to release Eren for a moment while he grabbed his wallet out, and Eren swayed without the support   
"Is he alright?"  
"Yeah, just a bit to take in, especially straight after waking up"  
The officer allowed them inside and Levi guided Eren to sit on the sofa   
"Erwin, can you keep an eye on him for me?"  
The teen didn't hear Erwin reply, but assumed the man had nodded because the sofa dipped and he slipped slightly towards the centre. 

Eren's laptop and broken phone had been taken, as had Levi's laptop and tablet. Nothing else has been touched, but the front door had been left open, which to Eren screamed his father wanted them there. The police asked for item descriptions and makes, models and how old the devices were. Levi was given the usual speal about how this kind of robbery was usually kids, and the alpha nodded, before looking to Eren and Eren shook his head quickly. He had nothing he wanted to say, Grisha had robbed him of the photos of his mother and he was struggling to remain calm. The alpha explained that they'd been away on a holiday, and came back when they got the news, and the police were sympathetic. They allowed Levi to pack some clothing and the alpha left his house keys with the police. 

Levi's car was still at the college and Eren insisted they needed to pick it up. Although it made no sense to the omega, Erwin announced he'd drive Levi's car and Levi drove Erwin's back to the hotel. The blonde alpha climbed from the car not looking impressed, but didn't say anything and Eren wondered if that was because Erwin wasn't alone with Levi. 

Upon arriving back at the hotel room, Levi opened the door and the alpha paused, before bending down and picking something up off the floor. Eren's name was neatly placed in the centre of the white envelope and the omega took it from Levi with shaking hands  
"Eren? Its Grisha isn't it?"  
The teen nodded and his knees gave out, Erwin caught him easily and Levi moved so they could enter before him, before firmly closing the door and making sure it was locked properly. Erwin carried Eren over and sat him down on the sofa, going to tug the envelope from the teens hands and Eren gripped it tighter   
"What is it?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I don't think I want to know"  
"Then let me take it"  
Erwin stared hard into his eyes and Eren shook his head  
"No. This is addressed to me"  
"And you're in no state to be opening it"  
Levi moved between Eren and Erwin   
"It's his letter, let him decide"  
Erwin looked annoyed and released his hold  
"That could be anything"  
"I think we all know that. Eren, you can open it when you're ready"  
Eren nodded, secretly relieved that Levi stepped in, Erwin was nothing like he'd thought the man to be. The teen eyed the envelope and could feel Erwin staring at him. He pushed himself up and walked through to the bathroom, closing both alphas out. He moved to counter and his fingers shook as he tore the envelope open and a photo came free. It was of him laying in bed with Levi at hospital and he couldn't stop himself from vomiting in the sink next to him. Grisha had been there. He clutched the print as his knees gave out and his fingers gripped the top of the counter in an attempt to stay upright. Grisha always knew and he couldn't understand how. The man could come at any time and take him away, but he hadn't... He jumped when the bathroom door opened and Levi rushed to his side   
"Eren!"  
Eren shook his head and Levi pulled him against him  
"Let's get you into bed and then we'll talk"  
Eren shook as Levi lifted him, carrying him through to their room. 

"What's going on?"  
Erwin's voice caused him to flinch away and Levi brushed the hair back from the teens face  
"Can you get me a glass of water please"  
Levi didn't even look back to Erwin, his eyes just stared into Eren's and Eren could see how afraid the alpha was  
"I... here..."  
Eren's hands shook as he offered Levi the photo and Levi's eyes went wide  
"What the fuck?"  
Eren nodded   
"What did I miss?"  
The smell of the alphas anger had Eren shifting back away from Levi, and he nearly dropped the glass of water when Erwin passed it to him. He drank it down, ignoring the taste and Erwin took the glass back  
"Levi. What happened"  
Levi snarled and shoved the photo at Erwin's chest  
"I am not letting this continue any fucking longer"  
Erwin looked at the print. It seemed to take the man a minute and then his own features darkened  
"Eren. Stay here. Don't open the door for anyone and keep the chain across"  
The teen was left a shaking mess as Levi strode from the room and Erwin followed after. He tried to find the words to tell them to stay, but the fear had left his throat right and his chest was heaving as it was. He heard the door slam being the men and scrambled from the bed on shaky legs, he slid the chain across and moved a dining chair up under he handle, like he'd seen in movies. He's fucked up so badly and his baby was growing more and more active. The teen stumbled back into the bedroom and crawled under the sheets, pulling the pillow Levi had used up to his face. They'd be alright. They had to be alright.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this like 4 times and I still fucking hate it. I'm sorry! I'm a terrible person

Eren rolled over for the upteenth time, he couldn't get comfortable and it'd seemed like years since Levi and Erwin had left. Rolling over again, he pushed himself up with a sigh, this sleep thing wasn't happening, and he padded from the bedroom and into the bathroom, he didn't particularly feel like showering, but he needed to do something to ease the anxiety.

Sleeping into the shower, Eren moaned as the hot water began to cascade down his naked form, he didn't bother moving, instead he just stood and tried to relax. Levi would be fine. Erwin was with him and Erwin had seemed sure he'd be able to handle anything Grisha threw at him. Why hadn't he stopped them? He was still in the shower when a knock came across the door and he jumped, nearly slipping in the process. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around himself and padded over to the front door  
"Eren?!"  
That was Levi, that meant they were back. Eren slid the chair free and unchained the door, he took a breath as he turned the lock over and opened the door. The smell of smoke filling his nose immediately   
"What the hell did you guys do!"  
Eren stepped back and let the two alphas in before locking the door again. Erwin didn't look impressed at all  
"I'm going to take a shower"  
The man strode from the room and Levi took Eren's hand, leading him through to the bedroom   
"You should put some clothes on"  
Eren blushed only just realising he'd answered the door in his towel  
"My clothes are in the bathroom"  
Levi nodded and sank down on the edge of the bed with a weary sigh, before patting his lap and Eren moved to sit in the alphas lap  
"Levi, why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you have to say"  
"Because you probably won't"  
Wrinkling his nose, Eren slid from Levi's lap  
"Sorry, the smoke..."  
"Yeah. I kind of set the house on fire"  
Eren's eyes widened and Levi nodded  
"The place was sealed up tight and no one answered when we knocked. Erwin wanted to call the police, but I told him I was going to double check the back door..."  
"That doesn't explain why you felt the need to set the place on fire!"  
Eren's voice rose sharply and he knew he was bordering on hysterics, his head was spinning with the thought that the normally level headed alpha could do such a thing   
"When I saw the gas bottles... and I couldn't stop thinking they'd held you there, so fucking close to Erwin's... I don't know, it was like my blood was boiling. Erwin made me try to put it out, but it was too late..."  
Eren shook his head, Levi was obviously about to continue and he needed a moment to process. He rose from beside the man and began to pace  
"Eren?"  
"Just give me a minute"  
Eren swore that Levi must have mentally counted to 60, because the alpha said his name again a few moments later  
"Eren"  
"You set a house on fire"  
"I set Grisha's fantasy land on fire"  
"But. What if our stuff was in there? What if your things were in there?"  
"Then when the police check whatever's left, they're going to know something much bigger is going on. At least now Grisha knows I'm deadly serious and I'm not about to let him fuck with us both further"  
"But still, arson is a crime"  
"And so is everything he's done to you. He deserved this and so much more"  
"What if someone saw you?"  
"Well Erwin's house is across the street, it'd be weirder if they didn't"  
Levi reached out and grabbed his arm as Eren span around   
"Look. I know you're upset and worried, but I don't regret it. I don't feel great about doing it, but it's done. You need to sit back down and rest, I don't want you ending up in hospital again"  
Eren sighed, Levi was right, and he didn't protest as the alpha pulled him back into his lap  
"You really do smell"  
"I know. It's fucking disgusting, but you smell pretty good"  
The alpha pressed a kiss to Eren's shoulder and Eren sighed  
"I'm trying to be mad at you here"  
"I know"  
"You aren't helping"  
"I know that too"

There was a small cough from the doorway  
"The showers free"  
Seeing Erwin in a fluffy white robe was just weird. Eren hurried to slide from Levi's lap  
"Go take a shower"  
Levi gave a nod and stood  
"Alright, we'll continue this when I come back"  
Erwin sighed deeply and shook his head as he walked away and Eren moved to climb into bed, slipping the towel off once he was under the covers and immediately wishing he'd dried off before doing so. He grabbed the discarded towel and folded it over, before laying it on the pillow. It wasn't a great deal better, but at least the pillow wouldn't get as wet.

Levi came back in a white robe that he was practically swimming in. Eren bit his lip, trying not to laugh at the look of announce on the man's face  
"Shitty robes"  
The alpha closed the door and walked over to the bed, before stripping it off and climbing into bed next to the teen and Eren moved to lay against him  
"You shouldn't have set the house on fire"  
Levi nodded   
"I'm sorry for upsetting you"  
Eren shook his head  
"It's not your fault, I'm more angry with myself for not being that angry with you"  
The alpha rolled so they were laying face to face and leant in to gently kiss the teen  
"I love you"  
Eren nodded as Levi stole a second kiss, and soon Eren was moaning into the man's mouth as Levi rolled him back and straddled his lap, when Levi broke the kiss, he moved to kiss Eren's stomach lightly  
"And I love this one too"  
Eren blushed slightly as Levi resumed to plant kisses on his swollen stomach  
"Levi, stop"  
His emotions were a mess, but his body was responding to Levi's touch and he knew the alpha could feel him growing hard  
"Why should I stop?"  
Eren whined as Levi rocked in his lap  
"Because I'm still trying to be mad at you"  
"And you can be mad all you like, but first I want to touch you"

Eren kept his eyes closed as Levi moved from his lap and then spread his legs, it was crazy just how much he was feeling it, and he swore every touch felt like it was filled with love. This man loved him so much he was prepared to burn a fucking house down. Such thoughts would have continued, but when Levi's mouth sank down around his erection, all his thoughts scattered and he moaned loudly. Levi continued to lick and suck until Eren's legs were shaking and he could feel how close he was   
"L-Levi"  
He felt the man nod and he came hard enough to see stars. Levi didn't pull back until Eren was completely spent and the omega shivered as the man's lips left his body   
"Still mad?"  
"Yes"  
Levi snorted  
"I guess I'll have to make you feel even better"  
There was something really weird about hearing those kinds of words from the alphas lips, but it wasn't a complete turn off and Levi slid back from between his legs, before rolling the teen on his side and sliding up behind him  
"L-Le..."  
"Trust me"

Levi's hand roamed across his back and then groped and massaged the teens arse, causing Eren to mew in need and Levi rutted up against him   
"Are you alright?"  
"Stop asking"  
Levi's teeth gently grazed over his shoulder and the alpha slid one hand done, before lifting and supporting the omega right leg and sliding in. It didn't take long before lewd noises filled the confined space and Levi slammed into the omega mercilessly, causing Eren to groan and shiver with every thrust, he was already so close to orgasming again and Levi was hitting his sweet spot so perfectly. When the alphas knot began to swell Eren screamed Levi's name, the second orgasm ripped through him and he was sure he passed out for a few seconds  
"Still mad?"  
Eren shook his head, his body felt so drained and all he could do was lay there panting as Levi licked and kisses his shoulder blades  
"I love you Eren"  
Eren hummed in reply, words felt like too much effort. He winced as their child kicked him firmly in the ribs and once Levi had lowered his leg, the omega guided the man's hand to his stomach   
"Someone's active"  
"Takes after his father"  
Levi nodded and curled up tighter around Eren   
"I don't know about you, but I need a nap"  
Eren nodded as he yawned  
"Yeah, a nap sounds good"

Eren winced when he woke up, he realised he'd fallen asleep with the alpha still inside him and the man was half hard. The teen didn't quite know what to do. Part of him was terrified as he couldn't see Levi, although he knew it was the alpha behind him. Trying to be careful, Eren slid forward and winced as Levi's grip on him tightened  
"Levi?"  
"Mhmmm"  
The alpha snuggled close and pushed deeper inside the omega and Eren moaned  
"Wake up"  
Eren tried to crawl from Levi's hold as the alpha finally started to stir. But Levi let out a small "oh" and began to rock his hips, halting Eren's escape  
"Levi... not like this"  
Levi seemed to be awake enough to pay attention and Eren felt the alpha shift behind him, and he was piled up and into the man's lap. Eren's eyes widened as Levi sank deeper inside him and he moaned as the man mouthed at his neck   
"This is some wake up"  
Eren nodded and Levi began to move, the alphas hand came to cup his left breast, while the right moved to hold his hip. Eren was completely at the alphas mercy and Levi drove into him desperately, only lasting a few minutes before his knot flared, triggering Eren's orgasm  
"No more..."  
Levi snorted behind him and guided him back so they were sitting, rather than kneeling   
"This wasn't my fault"  
"You fell asleep still in me"  
Eren's face was red as he rushed to get the words out and Levi pressed a kiss to the bonding mark on the back of his neck  
"I love this, this shows everyone you're mine"  
Eren nodded tiredly  
"I've been wanting to ask you for a while now, but it never really came up. Eren, how would you feel about giving me your mark?"  
The omegas eyes widened  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. I want the world to know I'm yours"  
Unexpected tears filled Eren's eyes and he found himself nodding, and Levi shifted him slightly so the alpha could kiss him  
"I love you, no matter what. As long as we're together, everything will be just fine"

 

*  
It'd been 3 days since the alphas had burnt down Grisha's house and they hadn't heard from the man. Erwin seemed to think it was enough to have scared Grisha off, but Eren wasn't so sure. His anxieties had come back in full force and he'd even found himself trying to cut at his legs with the blunt plastic knife from the Chinese takeaway bag. When it hadn't worked, he'd ended up snapping the stupid thing and finally with a sharp edge, he'd draw a cut along his hip. Levi had come into the bathroom and caught him in the act and Eren had dissolved into the man's hold. He'd been doing so much better...

Levi stayed with him until he'd calmed, and lifted him easily, carrying him into the living area before looking at the wound  
"It's not too deep, but it'll probably be annoying until it heals"  
Eren nodded   
"I'm sorry..."  
"It's alright, I'm just relieved it's the only one"  
The omega nodded as it was the only one that had actually given him that high   
"Eren, wanna tell me why?"  
"Dad... I'm scared of how he's going to retaliate. It's not like him to wait so long. He knows we're here. It's like he's waiting us out and it's driving me crazy"  
"Then what do you want to do?"  
Levi and Eren both jumped as Erwin's voice rang out. Eren blushed at the fact he was naked from the waist down and Levi grabbed the couch cushion and placed it in his lap  
"I don't know. But I don't feel safe. There's no where we can go that he won't find us, so I don't know what to do..."  
"Eren, surely he would have done something by now?"  
The teen shook his head  
"He watched me for months, he waited until I was pregnant before he made his move..."  
"Surely that had nothing to do with it"  
"He didn't know I was an omega. I didn't present until I met Levi"  
Erwin frowned   
"People don't present at 19"  
"They... they said it was from emotional trauma..."  
Eren hung his head, the old feeling of being a freak had decided it felt he need to join in with his other anxieties   
"So, we'll go away?"  
Erwin sighed  
"I'm not leaving Trost"  
"But it's not safe"  
Erwin clearly wasn't backing down   
"I doubt he'll do anything, I think he's just so far into your head, you're jumping at shadows and overreacting"  
Eren winced and Levi growled  
"Are you serious?!"  
"Levi, what proof do we have that Grisha did any of all of this?"  
Eren began to shake, this is exactly why he'd never gone to the police. Erwin was Levi's best friend and even he didn't believe him  
"Are you fucking serious? You have seen the scars on his back! I told you his past! Isn't Eren's words good enough!"  
"Levi, look at this logically!"  
"Get out! If you think you know best, then get out!"  
"Levi..."  
"No Eren! I'm not going to leave your safety to Erwin when he obviously doesn't give two fucks! Thank you for everything you've done, but leave"  
Eren curled up on the sofa as he listened to Erwin begin gathering his things  
"Levi, I just don't think..."  
"No, you don't think. Goodbye Erwin"  
Levi turned back to Eren and gathered the shaking omega in his arms  
"I'm sorry..."  
"No, it's fine. He just needs some space... and so do we. Let's get dressed and go"  
Levi lifted him from the sofa as the door opened and closed. He buried his face against Levi's neck and Levi carried him into the bedroom  
"Are your pants in the bathroom?"  
Eren nodded and Levi left him to retrieve them. He was so tired of the same clothes and he honestly couldn't blame Erwin for losing it. Being cooped up was doing none of them any good... except for the fact they'd been safer together. When Levi returned, he helped Eren into his pants and shoes, before taking his hand  
"Alright, we can go anywhere. Where do you want to go?"  
"I don't care. As long as I'm with you... but... can we get clothes?"  
Levi laughed lightly  
"We can get whatever you want. Have you ever seen the ocean?"  
Eren shook his head  
"When I was a kid, I had a friend who dreamed of seeing the ocean, but..."  
"Alright, its only a couple of hours drive, we'll see if we can get a room near the beach"  
Eren sniffled and Levi squeezed his hand harder  
"You and me brat"


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff!

Levi insisted they both shower before heading out to dinner. The hotel they were staying at had its own restaurant, but the alpha seemed to have something in mind and Eren desperately wanted to pretend they'd left everything behind them. He allowed Levi to sweep him off his feet and into the shower, which wasn't as nearly as romantic as the alpha had seemed to hope. The pressure was horrible and the heat fluctuated, but Eren found the small smile from earlier still remained on his lips.

Levi took his time to carefully dry Eren and Eren practically melted as the alpha massaged his lower back, sitting for so long in the car had left him so uncomfortable and he found himself crying from the relief, which lead to Levi hushing and reassuring him, even though the alpha clearly had no idea what was wrong. It was slightly mortifying to admit his hormones had his emotions all over the place, but Levi had given him a gentle smile and told him it was alright and that he was perfect just the way he was. This lead to a fresh bout of tears and the sun had long since set by the time they finally left their room.

Walking was painful, but Eren held Levi's hand tight, the alpha hadn't said where they were going, but the man kept looking at his phone and Eren's gaze was towards the ocean, even though the inky darkness of the night had robbed him of the sight. Levi finally seemed to have memorised where they were headed and the alpha slid his phone into his jacket and Eren's gaze shifted to the man's face, watching him as they walked.

The restaurant was bright lit and airy, the French doors on all sides were open and half of had been built out over the water. The cursive white neon read "Paradise", and Eren followed Levi up the steps, half a step behind the man  
"Let's investigate inside first and then we can eat outside? Or do you want to investigate outside and eat inside?"  
The air was cold, but the walk had left him overheated  
"Inside out...?"  
Levi smiled  
"I thought you'd say that"  
The alpha kept a firm hold on his hand and he lead them into the brightly lit inside. The interior was shades of blue and white without being tacky and the wooden floor polished beautifully. They moved over to the bar together and Levi snagged a menu from the rack. The alpha pulled him closer and wrapped his arm around Eren's waist, as if telling everyone in the room that the teen was his.

"Welcome to Paradise! What can I get for you?"  
Eren jumped and looked at the short strawberry blonde  
"We're still deciding, so we'll need a couple more minutes"  
The woman's smile didn't falter and Eren looked down at the menu   
"I'm not really sure what I can and can't eat"  
"Well it all looks really good, and it's not like we can't share"  
Eren nodded and reread the menu   
"I think I'll go for fish and salad"  
"Alright, and I think I'll go for the lobster and prawn tortellini"  
The woman grabbed a note pad and wrote down their orders as well as grabbing a number for their table  
"Will you be dining inside or outside?"  
"Outside"  
The woman noted that down  
"And drinks?"  
Levi flipped the menu to the last page and Eren read through it  
"Can I have a lemon juice please"  
The woman nodded  
"And you sir?"  
Levi looked to Eren   
"If you want to drink, I don't mind"  
"Then I'll have a glass of white, whatever you think is best"  
Eren watched as the woman practically swooned from Levi's words, he hated the surge of jealousy he felt and he shifted awkwardly, while his gaze came to stare down at the menu. In the background he heard the woman ringing up their bill and Levi had to release him to get his wallet out.

"Eren?"  
The omega jumped and realised his drink was sitting in front of him on the counter  
"Sorry, we should go sit right?"  
Levi nodded and picked up his drink  
"Can you carry the number?"  
Eren nodded, he felt like a little kid as he followed Levi through the people and tables, and out onto the desk. The alpha chose a table for them, a little off centre and Eren placed the number down carefully, before moving to the railing and looking over. It was so weird that the ocean was below them, and the sound of the water rushing to hit the rocks underneath was slightly scary. Still, this was nice and hummed as he felt their son shift   
"I can't wait to show you this"

Looking up at the sky, it was cloudless and clear, even the moon seemed brighter and Eren found himself wishing they'd never go back to Trost.  
"Eren?"  
Levi came up behind him and wrapped his arms around the teens waist  
"What are you thinking about?"  
"How I can't wait to show this to our son"  
Levi nodded and his hold tightened  
"I know we're on the run from a shitty psycho, but this is so nice. I wish it could always be like this"  
Eren nodded, slightly annoyed that Levi had brought up his father at that particular moment   
"Come on, let's sit"  
"I think I want to stand a little longer, I'm still sore from sitting"  
Levi nodded and the man didn't move away like the omega had expected   
"That woman seems pretty into you"  
"Who? Petra?"  
Eren frowned  
"The strawberry blonde from inside"  
"Her tag said Petra..."  
Levi didn't seem to realise that it hurt the teen to know his mate had payed such close attention. It was stupid and petty to be jealous, but he just couldn't help it. Levi had asked for his mark, but it was still yet to happen and Eren was wondering if the alpha had just said it because they'd fucked. The thought had left a knot in his stomach, he'd thought he'd pushed it down, but apparently not and the happiness he'd been feeling was fast evaporating   
"Number 57?"  
Eren jumped and Levi released him  
"That was fast"  
Eren nodded and moved to finally take his seat. A different woman placed the plates down and picked the table number up before leaving. Eren eyed the huge serve, his appetite had already been virtually nonexistent, but seeing the huge plate of food just left him feeling sick  
"Everything alright?"  
Eren flinched and nodded   
"Yeah... just a lot"  
"Well eat whatever you feel up to eating"  
Eren sighed internally, if he did that then nothing would be eaten and it'd be a waste of Levi's money. Cautiously he took a sip of his lemon juice, it was sweet, but still bitter at the same time, and did nothing to make him feel better about eating. His hand shook as he placed the glass down and forced himself to pick his fork up, immediately stabbing at a piece of carrot. Levi seemed to be enjoying his pasta, but when he offered Eren a bite, the teen had to refuse. He'd taken one bite of the fish and his stomach had said no. After that he'd continued to pick at the salad and let Levi pick at the fish. They didn't really talk over dinner and Eren wondered if Levi was mad at him.

The alpha stopped by the bar on their way out and Eren continued without him, making it down the steps and a few metres down the road before the alpha caught up, a brown paper bag firmly clasped in one hand  
"What's that?"  
Levi looked to the bag  
"It's a bottle of wine. Our room has a balcony and I thought it might be nice to sit outside tomorrow and pretend we're fancy"  
Eren nodded slowly   
"Alright"  
Levi took his hand and Eren tried to push his anxieties down. Levi had taken him away. He had nothing to fear.

Arriving back at the hotel room, Eren left Levi's side and moved out to the balcony. He sat carefully on the edge of one of the sun chairs and their was a small knock on the open glass door  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah. I just need a minute"  
"Ok, but don't stay outside too long, it's freezing"  
Once again Eren felt like a small child and tears formed. He couldn't let Levi see, the alpha would be so mad at him. He sniffled quietly as he buried his face in his hands. Why'd he always have to fucking ruin everything?

Levi seemed to reappear moments later   
"Eren, it's been half an hour, you should probably come in?"  
The teen nodded and Levi went to help him from the chair  
"Don't!"  
Eren winced at how angry the word sounded and Levi looked a little shocked. He pushed himself up and practically ran through the room and into the bathroom, falling to his knees and throwing up once he was safely locked inside. His body shook from the effort and his quite tears turned to sobs  
"Eren?!"  
The doorknob rattled and Eren looked towards it. It was an easy enough lock to get past, the type where you could insert something thin, like a edge of the key, and turn to make it open. Eren gagged as he half choked and vomited again. He felt so fucking pathetic and fell next to the pool, with his shoulder against the small vanity  
"Eren?!"  
"'m ok Levi"  
"Then can you open the door?"  
Eren shook his head, even though he knew Levi couldn't see  
"Just go to bed Levi. I'll be fine"  
"Eren, you're crying your eyes out and throwing up"  
"And I'll be fine. Please. I just need to some space"  
When Levi didn't reply, Eren felt like cold water had been doused over him, he'd done this to himself. But fuck. He wanted the alpha to come and save him and prove that his jealousy was unfounded. He stayed against the cabinet until his stomach finally began to settle and his tears once again ran silent.

Opening the bathroom vanity, Eren's eyes landed on something he hadn't expected. A cheap disposable razor, still in its plastic packaging. Levi hadn't come and he knew it was completely irrational, but part of him wondered if the alpha was even in the hotel room still. He snatched out the razor and clawed the plastic off. Given how flimsy it was, it was easy enough for him to snap the top and then slid out the cheap blade. He knew he shouldn't do it, but he was just so fucking miserable and confused, that he started to cut on his right wrist without even thinking. He hissed through the first cut, his eyes closed as the euphoria slowly rolled through his body. Levi had done everything right, but he'd only ever done everything wrong.

One cut became three and then 9, he could feel the blood running down his hand and began to panic from the sensation. He'd really fucked up. Trying to move, his hand slipped and he smacked his head against the vanity with a solid thud, managing to bite his tongue in the process and he let out a long moan  
"Eren?"  
This time he couldn't answer and he felt like such a shit mate for doubting Levi. His eyes were sliding closed as he heard the door click  
"Eren!"  
Strong hands grabbed his face but all Eren could do was let out a soft whine  
"Shit! Hold on!"  
He felt Levi lifting him and the alpha felt so damn warm. He nuzzled trying to warm his frozen body and he felt Levi placing him down on the bed  
"Stay still"  
It wasn't like he could move anyway. Levi moved away and Eren swayed, slumping sideways on the bed, with his bleeding wrist hanging over the side. He felt something being wrapped firmly around his arm  
"Eren, stay awake for him"  
Eren wanted to reply, but his tongue felt fat and heavy. He wanted to tell Levi he was alright, just tired  
"I think there was a vending machine in the hotel lobby. I need you to stay awake. I don't care what you do, or say, but promise me you'll stay awake"  
Eren couldn't promise anything, even as Levi began to shift him across the bed, placing him so his back was against the head board. The alpha pressed a kiss to his forehead  
"I'll be right back"

Eren didn't know how he managed to stay awake, his head lolled limply as Levi's hands came to his face   
"Good, that's good. Just keep your eyes open for me"  
He felt the weight being removed from his arm and Levi let out a weird sound. He didn't exactly know how to describe it, but it hurt to hear it. He tried to muster all the effort he could, and forced his tongue to move  
"I'm ok"  
Levi stilled for a moment and then Eren felt something being poured over the cuts and whined at the pain  
"It's ok, it's antiseptic"  
Eren let his eyes finally close, he'd tried so hard, but now he was just too tired

*  
Waking up Eren found himself naked and an equally naked Levi was curled around him. Yawning, the omega tried to slide from Levi's hold and let out a yelp of pain. His wrist... since when had he hurt his wrist? Sliding his right arm out, Eren eyed the bandaged with wide eyes and the memories of the previous night came flooding back. How the fuck could he do that to Levi? And what about the baby? His hands moved to his stomach in panic and he tried to remember how to breathe as he waited for their son to move. When he finally did Eren let out a choked sob  
"Eren?"  
Levi immediately rolled him over and Eren reached for him, pulling the alpha down against him as he buried his face against Levi's shoulder  
"I'm so sorry... I... I didn't mean to go so far... everything was so messed up in my head and I thought you were going to leave me"  
Levi sighed against his ear  
"You gave me one hell of a scare brat and you know I couldn't leave you"  
Eren nodded  
"It's just... that woman last night... I knew I was being pathetic, but I still felt so jealous"  
"You have nothing to be jealous of"  
Eren shook his head   
"I thought you'd gone to be with her..."  
Levi pulled back and looked down at him so sadly  
"Why would you ever think that?"  
"Because she's pretty and I'm just fat and useless"  
"You know you're not"  
"But that's how I feel"  
Levi rolled off of him and moved to sit on the edge of the bed  
"Eren. How many times do I have to say I love you? How many times do I have to tell you I'm not leaving? Why don't you believe me?"  
Levi pushed himself off the bed and Eren watched the alpha grab his clothes up  
"I'm going to sit out on the balcony for a bit"

Eren nodded as Levi left him alone. The omega slowly slid to the edge of the bed, their son was turning summersaults and Eren pressed lightly on his stomach   
"Hey bub... I think I fucked up, but I promise daddy isn't mad at you... I'm so sorry you have such a failure for a mother..."  
Eren waited until their son had quietened before standing and promptly falling back down on the bed due to a wave of dizziness. He waited a few seconds and rose slowly, stumbling over his feet and he grabbed his own clothes and dressed. He needed something to drink and moved to check the minibar, relieved to find a bottle of water. He cracked the lid and downed most of it in one go, his stomach tried to revolt against the cold liquid, but he forced himself to take a few breaths before finishing the bottle.

He looked to Levi's sitting outside, the alpha was clearly upset and Eren didn't know what to say. He didn't have a magical wand to control his hormones or emotions and he certainly couldn't go back in time and undo anything. Instead he sighed to himself and reopened the minibar, given their wasn't another bottle of water, he grabbed the can of lemonade and slipped it into the pocket of his jumper, before quietly letting himself out the room. 

It was only a couple of metres from the hotel front, to the parking lot and then a couple more to the road. He crossed quickly and hurried down the ramp and onto the beach. He didn't want to venture too far from Levi, but he didn't want the alpha to feel smothered by having him around all the time and walked on until he found a spot that was in view of the ramp, but didn't have anyone really close by.

He sat and sipped at the lemonade as he watched the waves crash and the water rush up the sand, it was soothing and hypnotic, the shades of blue were really amazing, especially in contrast with the tan sand  
"Hey bub, you wouldn't believe this. I'm staring at this massive body of water, I'd seen it a million and one times in books and movies. But fuck. It's amazing"  
He didn't care what people thought, we he did, but he still found himself talking to his stomach and people already thought he was crazy. He managed to calm down completely as he sat and watched the waves, finally finishing his can of lemonade and then awkwardly standing to leave. He turned around to find Levi standing a few metres behind him and he bit his lip, but the alpha help his arms out and Eren trudged though the sand and fell into the hold  
"I really am sorry"  
"I know, and I'm sorry I left you alone"  
Eren shook his head  
"You were scared"  
"Yeah. Are you hungry? You've been out here a while"  
Eren frowned  
"How do you know that?"  
"I heard you leave"  
Eren nodded against the alpha  
"I didn't know what to do or say, so I was trying to give you space"  
"I know. Let's have breakfast and we can see what touristy things you can do around here"  
Eren shook his head  
"You don't like touristy things"  
"I never said I didn't like them, but it's not something I've ever had the inclination to do... probably because I had no one to do them with"  
Eren blushed slight and Levi released him, before taking his hand left hand.

Walking along the Main Street, Levi stopped in front of a small cafe and Eren looked inside. It wasn't terribly busy   
"Want to see if there's anything you feel like eating?"  
Eren nodded, Levi had to be hungry after all and let his alpha lead him inside. Cakes and sandwiches were neatly presented behind the glass counter and Eren really didn't feel like any of that, he'd nearly given up when he realised they also had fruit salad  
"What's the verdict?"  
"Fruit salad?"  
Levi nodded  
"Yeah, it does look good. Do you want anything to drink?"  
Eren shook his head quickly, he already needed to pee but wasn't about to ruin Levi's morning with an unscheduled bathroom break  
"Why don't you take a seat while I pay"  
Levi pressed a kiss to his cheek and let go of his hand, allowing Eren to move and take a seat near the entrance. It was only a few minutes before the alpha joined him  
"We can eat here or we can hunt down somewhere else"  
"I'm fine with whatever you chose"  
"All this walkings got me tired, why don't we head back to the hotel room. We can have breakfast and take a nap"  
It wasn't exactly touristy like Levi had mentioned when they left the beach, but at least he could use the bathroom when they got back to the room, and by the time they did he practically ran into the bathroom.

Emerging from the room, Eren felt his cheeks heat up as he moved to sit next to Levi on the bed. The alpha had taken everything out the plastic bag and Eren climbed up next to him  
"Are you alright?"  
Eren nodded and reached for the fruit salad, wincing as the cuts on his arms tugged  
"You probably want to try and use your left hand today"  
The teen nodded and immediately started to struggle, Levi took over opening the container like it was the natural thing to do and handed it back to Eren   
"Thank you"  
Levi shrugged and Eren watched him open his own breakfast which seemed to be a berry sauce, yoghurt and muesli. They sat in silence as they both ate, Eren eating more than he thought he could. When he was done, he placed the container on the bedside table and curled into Levi's side  
"Was it good?"  
"Yeah, I'm just really sleepy"  
"I'm not surprised. You lost a fair bit of blood and you had blood in your hairline"  
"Oh, I think I hit my head on the vanity"  
Levi nodded and continued to eat, while Eren closed his eyes.

When he woke up, Levi was still awake and Eren wondered if the alpha had known he was tired so lied to make sure he'd get some rest. He let it slide and nuzzled against Levi's stomach  
"How was the nap?"  
"Good... how long was I asleep"  
"Just under two hours"  
Eren nodded as he yawned, finally noticing Levi was gently playing with his hair  
"What did you get up to?"  
"Oh the usual. Robbed a bank, stole a car. Googled things to do in Paradis"  
"I'm not sure about the first two, but what happened with the third"  
"There's not a lot to do. They have markets on a Sunday morning, and apparently a very nice lighthouse"  
Eren snorted  
"Hey, I was reading all about it"  
"I bet you where"  
"So I was thinking we could just go for a drive"  
"Mmm that sounds nice"

*  
The drive was pretty nice. Levi headed north along coast and Eren watched the scenery change. The houses here further and further apart and Levi found a small parking bay that overlooked the ocean. Eren climbed from the car and stretched slowly, his back once again aching. Levi came around and promptly wrapped his arms around him  
"I wish we'd come here sooner"  
"So do I... but we can come back right?"  
"Yeah, of course we can and it's not like we're in any hurry to leave"  
"That's true..."  
Eren bit his lip, it would only be a matter of time before Grisha found them  
"Eren, I want to ask you something"  
The teen tensed  
"Tonight. Will you give me your mark tonight? I wanted to ask you last night, but that didn't really happen"  
Eren's heart began to pound  
"Really?"  
"Yeah"  
"Are you certain?"  
"I've never been more certain. So is that a yes?"  
Eren nodded quickly and Levi moved to kiss him gently  
"I don't feel like being outside anymore... how about you?"  
Eren shook his head and Levi laughed lightly.

Arriving back at the hotel room, their clothes fell in a trail between the door and the bed, Levi insisted on taking off Eren's sock, because sex with socks on wasn't sexy. The omega wasn't exactly sure how Levi wanted to do this and relinquished his body to the alpha, though he blushed furiously when Levi rolled him up and into his lap, so Eren was straddling him. The alpha took both of Eren's hands in his, intertwining their fingers and Eren tried to remember how to breathe. Levi looked so sexy beneath him and he felt himself growing slick with need  
"Just take your time"  
Eren nodded and rose slowly, he wasn't really sure about this and barely managed to line himself up with the alpha before slowing sinking down. He couldn't really build a proper rhythm, but Levi was still moaning and thrusting and Eren was sure the alpha was going 90% of the work. Eren came before Levi did, his back arched as his came across the man's chest and Levi's eyes were positively hungry as he watched him. It didn't take long for the alphas knot to flare. It was then the Levi sat up and Eren moaned at the feeling of the man sinking deeper and the warmth spreading inside of him  
"Levi?"  
The alpha was already presenting his neck and Eren shook as he leant in  
"Please make me yours"  
Eren bit down hard and Levi screamed his name. He could feel the alpha cumming again and he held the bite until Levi went lax, he then quickly pulled off and began to lap at the wound.

Eren laid against Levi the best his stomach was allow and the alpha panted beneath him  
"That... wow..."  
Eren smiled up at the man and Levi sat up so he could steal a kiss   
"I love you Eren Yeager"  
"I love you Levi Ackerman"  
Levi flopped back and his hands finally released Eren's, moving to rest on the small of the teens back   
"I think I'm still cumming"  
Eren snorted, but had to admit he felt so impossibly full from Levi, and nuzzled the man for comfort   
"Eren"  
"Mmm"  
"Let's make this all legal"  
Eren frowned as he shifted to look at Levi   
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, let's register this. We can print the forms and find someone to sign them and then you'll become Eren Ackerman or I can become Levi Yeager, whichever you prefer, but I want everyone to know that you're mine"  
Eren sniffled   
"Levi Yeager sounds funny"  
"Well I think Eren Ackerman sounds sexy"  
Eren nodded and Levi's hands moved again, this time to wipe away the tears of happiness Eren felt. Levi really, truly loved him. Even with everything going on and everything he'd been through.


	28. Chapter 28

They 5 days they'd spent in Paradis was close to paradise. Levi had practically pampered him to the point Eren nearly forget all his troubles, that was until they wound up at the public library so Levi could use a computer. Eren had left the man and was walking through browsing the libraries tiny collection of books  
"Eren!"  
The teen turned around to see Levi trying to get his attention and walked back over to where he'd left the alpha. The man had printed something off and forms were spread out in front the computer   
"What's this?"  
"Well, you know how I said I wanted to make this legal and all official, I printed the paperwork and apparently we can get them witnessed at a post office"  
Levi stood and fetched another chair, while Eren sat in the one he'd vacated. The omega picked up the first sheet of paper and began to read, it wasn't long when his heart sank  
"Levi, we can't or at least I can't. I don't have any identification"  
"Well you've got your wallet right?"  
"No... I kind thought you had it"  
"Fuck"  
Levi's face fell  
"When's the last time you saw it?"  
"Before dad took me... I seriously thought you had it because of all that's hospital crap"  
Levi let out a sigh  
"It's fine. I've got a copy of your birth certificate"  
Eren frowned in confusion   
"Why?"  
"After that incident with Jean and your laptop, I emailed a copy to myself"  
"That's kind of creepy... but at least that's something..."  
Eren wondered if the alpha had also emailed himself everything else in that file  
"Levi, did you email my birth certificate or the whole file"  
"I don't remember, let's take a look?"

Eren moved back and let Levi work  
"You can start filling the forms in if you want, even if we can't lodge them straight away, we'll be prepared for when we can"  
Eren nodded and gathered them up and Levi passed him a pen he'd found somewhere. The alpha was quite as he clicked away and Eren tried to focus on the forms, but his heart was racing. His wallet was gone, that meant Grisha probably had it, which meant the man had access to all his accounts, including his bank account. Eren felt himself becoming distressed and their son kicked him as if to tell him to stop  
"Found it"  
Looking towards the screen, Eren waited for the image to load and let out a small sigh of relief when his birth certificate finally loaded   
"I'm going to print a copy of this"  
Eren nodded and while Levi was collecting the printout, the teen filled the certificate number into the box for identification provided. He really wanted to check and see what else was there, but didn't want to invade Levi's privacy and waited patiently for the man's return.

Levi returned a few minutes later and Eren was confused. The man held up two copies of his birth certificate and one was laminated  
"Like it? I was thinking it'd be handy, just in case"  
"You didn't have to"  
"I know. But I wanted to"  
Eren nodded and looked back to the forms, he'd mostly finished  
"I don't sign it yet do I?"  
"No, we need to do that at the post office"  
Eren nodded and Levi took the forms, and passing his birth certificate. The teen smiled softly at his mother name   
"What are you going to use for identification?"  
"I've got my driver's licence and all my other cards, but I should probably call the police and let them know to add your wallet to the list"  
"I doubt I'll ever see it again"  
Levi sighed softly and Eren fidgeted with his birth certificate.  
Half an hour later Levi was ushering him out the library and Eren shivered in the cold air  
"Let's get back to the hotel"  
Levi took his hand and the pair began the short walk back.

Arriving back at the hotel, they crossed through the lobby and Eren jumped when the woman behind the desk called out to them  
"Excuse me"  
Levi looked to Eren and Eren shrugged, the alpha let go of the teens hand and walked over to the woman, while Eren stood awkwardly waiting. The pair talked for a moment, before Levi walked back over and Eren's gaze fell on the envelope in his hand  
"What's that?"  
"I don't know, she said it was dropped of for us earlier. It has our names on it"  
Eren eyed the envelope with nervous suspicion  
"Let's open this in our room"

Sitting down on the bed, Eren leaned against Levi as the alpha tore the envelope open. The alpha let out a "Tch" of disgust and Eren tried to read what was written   
"Is it...?"  
"Yeah, your shitty father again"  
Levi held the letter up, it basically said they were both dead men walking and Eren felt sick, he sniffled as tears formed  
"Why can't he just leave me alone?"  
"I don't know. But now we know he knows we're we are, what do you want to do?"  
"I don't know..."  
Levi placed the letter down and wrapped his arms around Eren's shaking frame  
"Hey, it's alright. We'll pack and we'll go. It doesn't matter where, we can drive up the coast..."  
Eren shook his head  
"No, this must be costing you so much"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine"  
Eren let out a choked sob and Levi nuzzled his neck  
"It is, I don't mind"  
"But I do!"  
"Well too bad. You get some rest and I'll pack our things"  
The omega could only nod at the firmness of Levi's tone.

*  
Eren slept in the back of Levi's sedan as the alpha drove. He managed a few hours before Levi gently shook him awake  
"Hey, I'm getting fuel at the moment, do you need to use the bathroom?"  
Eren nodded and forced himself up, his left side was numb and he was still sleepy. He fumbled out the seatbelt and from the car, stretching as he did  
"The toilets seem to be inside, why don't you head on in and I'll meet you inside"

Eren couldn't stop yawning as he stumbled into the service station, he waddled through to the bathroom. Coming back out he felt somewhat more awake and looked around the interior in curiosity. Towards the counter there was a small coffee machine and the teen realised he hadn't had a coffee in way too long. He moved to the machine and read the instructions, before proceeding to make himself a large flat white  
"Coffee?"  
Levi's voice made him flinch and he spilt the hot liquid down his hand with a hiss  
"Shit. Hold on"  
Levi took the coffee cup from him and replaced it with a napkin, and Eren wiped his hand down  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah, it was just a shock. Do you want one?"  
"I'll take a tea. Do you want any other drinks or something to eat?"  
"Chocolate?"  
"Anything else?"  
"Hot chips"  
Levi snorted  
"Chocolate and hot chips it is"  
The alpha place a small kiss on Eren's cheek and wandered off with the omegas coffee.

Eren hummed as he relaxed in the front passenger seat, Levi didn't bother asking why he was dipping his chips in his coffee and Eren had no idea why it tasted so good. The coffee had helped to wake him up and the teen watched the world go by   
"You alright?"  
"Mhmm... how far away from Paradis now?"  
"About 4 and half hours"  
The road had taken them inland and Eren missed the sight of the ocean, but beggars can't be choosers. He finished his coffee and replaced the lid before putting it in the central cup holder and sliding down in his seat  
"I have no idea how you can be comfortable like that"  
"I'm not really, but I'm never comfortable these days"  
"Want me to pull over?"  
Eren shook his head, but Levi did anyway and the omega looked to the alpha  
"You didn't have to do that"  
"I know"  
Climbing from the car was slightly awkward as Levi had parked against a dip and Eren had to take an extra half step so he didn't fall face first. Levi came jogging around the car to help him but Eren shook his head and picked his own path carefully. He sighed in relief once he was free of the dip and walked away from the car and into the trees  
"Eren?"  
"Just stretching"  
Levi caught up to him easily and Eren leant against the nearest tree and yawned  
"Your back?"  
"My hips are sore"  
Levi's hands tugged the teens shirt and hooded jumper up and Eren jumped when Levi's cold hands hit his skin  
"Thanks for the warming"  
Levi didn't pull back and began to massage the sore area firmly. Eren let a moan of appreciation   
"Good?"  
"You have no idea"

The alphas hands felt heavenly and Eren mewed in happiness, even beginning to slick under Levi's touch. He could smell the alphas arousal in the air and whined as Levi pulled back  
"We should get going"  
Eren whined as Levi pulled his clothes back down and the alpha took his hand to pull him away from the tree. He watched Levi's eyes widen and could feel how flushed his face was, not to mention he knew his aching erection would be more than evident. Unable to stand the feelings any longer, he took Levi's face in his hands and leant into kiss the alpha desperately, moaning into the man's mouth. When the kiss broke, Levi's eyes were almost black and Eren took his hand back, placing it back on the tree  
"It'd be rude of me to ignore you when you're obviously in need"  
Eren nodded and stuck his arse back, wanting the alpha to hurry up  
"Levi..."  
Levi slid his hands around Eren's waist and down to undo the teens pants, shimmying them down and Eren moaned as his aching erection was finally freed  
"Fuck, you're a mess"  
Levi waisted no time stripping down his own pants and rutting up against Eren  
"Stop teasing"  
Levi laughed lightly and pushed in without warning, causing Eren to cum across the tree. He panted and clung to it desperately as Levi thrust into him, the small space filling with the sound of wet squelching and skin hitting skin  
"Eren, I'm going to cum. Do you want my knot?"  
The teen nodded quickly and Levi slid almost all the way out before slamming back in Eren felt the alphas knot flare as Levi pulsed inside him. His second orgasm left him boneless and he slumped against the tree  
"Better?"  
Eren hummed as he pants and Levi pressed kisses down his back  
"I never thought I'd be having sex on the side of the road like this"  
The omega tensed and began to cry, he knew Levi didn't mean anything bad by it. The alpha hushed him gently and Eren shook his head  
"Sorry... hormones I guess"  
"It's alright, just take some deep breaths"  
Levi rested his head against Eren's back and Eren tried to stop crying. By the time Levi's knot had finally gone down, he'd managed to stop crying. He let Levi clean him up the best they could manage, and was way too tired to walk back to the car, so Levi carried him back and helped him into the back seat. The alpha clipped his belt in place and crawled half over him to place a soft kiss on Eren's forehead  
"Get some sleep"  
Eren nodded, already most asleep anyway.

Eren was awoken by the sound of screeching tyres. Blinking the sleep from the eyes, he pushed himself up, eyes moving straight to Levi. The alpha was slumped against the steering wheel and everything that happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. Eren went to grab Levi's shoulder, but the car swerved hard and Eren was jerked back by his seat belt, the pressure on his stomach seemed to intensify immediately and then the world was a tumbling mess of colour and the sound of scraping metal filled his senses. He felt his head hit the window and everything went black.


	29. Chapter 29

Eren groaned as the world came into alignment and out again. Grey dots danced across his vision and he whimpered at the pain in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to move, but got no where fast, his left leg felt funny, like it was full of puns and needles  
"L-Levi?"  
He was scared enough at was, but when the alpha didn't reply, his heart began to race faster and he could feel a warmth spreading through his jeans. His baby was kicking like crazy  
"Levi!"  
He opened his eyes again and tried to focus. The windshield was shattered, and he whined as he shifted his head to look to the driver's seat. Levi was slumped across the steering wheel and Eren tried to kick the seat   
"Levi!"  
The man wasn't relying and Eren screamed his name again  
"LEVI!"

With shaking hands the teen tried to undo his seatbelt, hushing their baby as he did. He had to get them all out of this. He screamed as he pulled his left leg free, something was very wrong, but he couldn't look at it, he was too light headed as it was and he couldn't risk passing out. He slid his body backwards along the backseat and had to push his whole weight against the door to get it open, before falling out less than gracefully.

Levi's car had rolled and pieces laid in a long trail behind them. The only thing that had stopped them was the tree the front passenger side was wrapped around. If he'd been in the front, he'd be dead right now. Crawling up to the side of the car, he yanked on Levi's door, screaming in pain as he fell back. This wasn't fair. Levi didn't deserve this at all. He pulled himself back to the door handle and pulled again, using his right leg to brace as he pulled. The door finally opened and Levi slumped sideways   
"Levi! No... no... no..."  
The alpha's face was bloodied and Eren let out a sob and he shook as he grabbed Levi leg for support. Trying to pushed the alphas head up, the man let out a weak groan and Eren's heart leapt  
"Levi?!"  
He used Levi's form to pulled himself up, and reached past his mate to get his seatbelt undone. The moments caused a wave of nausea and he threw up over his hands with a whimper.

Pulling back, he pulled Levi out with him. He knew he shouldn't and that he needed to wait for help, but he needed to know for sure the alpha was really breathing. Levi fell limply atop of him and Eren whined in pain  
"Come on Levi, I need you to wake up for me..."  
Eren rolled Levi off of him and felt for his pulse. It was there but weak and Eren let out a long breath. He pulled Levi across and into the recovery position opening the man's mouth and trying to clean the blood from his alphas face. Levi's nose was clearly broken and Eren hated to think of what else was wrong. He tried to stay awake, but he was just too damn tired and slumped over his mate.

*  
"Eren?"  
Levi's voice sounded thick and muffled and Eren let out a yelp as he was rudely awakened by something moving his leg  
"Eren!"  
"Shhh..."  
Levi laughed lightly  
"Hey, there you are. Can you open your eyes for me?"  
Eren shook his head with a groan  
"It hurts"  
"I know. You got us out. You did so well"  
The omega felt Levi moving next to him  
"How bad is it?"  
"Me or you?"  
"You"  
"Busted ribs and my nose. You're the one who's a wreck"  
Eren laughed and coughed from the pain as he tried to sit up  
"Just stay down"  
Eren nodded, he felt so fucking cold, but he could still feel the baby moving   
"Eren?"  
Levi shook him gently and Eren hissed  
"Don't go quiet like that"  
"Sorry"  
"I can't find my phone, but I don't think there would be reception anyway"  
"So we're stuck?"  
"Yeah. Other than your leg and head, what hurts?"  
Eren could tell what Levi was really asking  
"Put your hands on my stomach"  
Eren felt Levi lift his shirt and let out a small curse, still the alpha placed his hands on Eren's swell and the man let out a choked sob  
"Thank god"  
"Yeah... Levi, it's really cold"  
The alpha sniffled   
"I'll see if I can get the car boot open"  
Eren didn't want Levi to leave him, but he was just so damn cold and the wetness of his pants didn't help. He'd thought for sure he was losing the baby.

Levi laid out the boot liner and lifted Eren across onto it, the teen hissed as his leg moved and Levi rushed to apologise, but it was nicer than laying on the gravel  
"Levi, are you alright?"  
"I'm fine, just a rest"  
Eren hummed in relief. He heard the alpha moving again and felt a wright laid across his chest   
"It's not the best, but we've got to get you warmed up"  
"Why?"  
Eren felt fuzzy, like he was forgetting something  
"Eren?"  
"Mhmm..."  
"You've got to stay awake for me"  
"Why? What happened?"  
He began to panic as he realised he couldn't remember where he was or why  
"Hey. Shhh, it's alright, you need to calm down"  
The thudding in his head grew worse and he whimpered from the pain. It felt like his brain was about to explode and his eyes rolled back as he passed out again.

*  
Levi was calling his name over and over, but Eren couldn't move. He felt warm and comfortable how he was and it just seemed like such a waste to move  
"Eren, come on, you've got to wake up"  
The omega groaned in response. Why couldn't Levi just let him sleep  
"Come on, open your eyes for us"  
Us? Who was us? He felt Levi's hands on his face and moaned as he tried to open his eyes  
"Hey. Good Morning. How are you feeling?"  
Eren shook his head, he wanted Levi to stop talking so loud. That comforting and warm feeling was now replaced with pain everywhere and he whined against Levi   
"I know, I know but it's fine. Just stay awake for me"  
Eren nodded, he tried to speak but nothing came out and he looked to Levi fearfully  
"You want to say something?"  
Eren nodded  
"Talk slowly, I'll try and read your lips"  
"What happened?"  
Levi frowned  
"We were in a car accident. You busted your leg pretty badly, but it's going to be alright"  
"Baby?"  
"Turning summersaults"  
Eren gave a weak smile   
"Where are we?"  
"We were picked up by a couple. They're driving us to the nearest town, so just relax, you'll both be alright"  
Eren closed his eyes again and Levi shook him  
"Eren?"  
"My head hurts"  
"You smacked it in the accident"  
"There was an accident?"  
"We were just talking about it"  
"I can't remember"

 

*  
Eren groaned when he awoke, there was something on his wrist and a heavy weight against him. His leg felt clunky and there was a light pressure on his head  
"Eren?"  
The omega hummed, before yawning. He knew this feeling, pain medication was great. He took a moment to collect his thoughts. The accident came rushing back and shot up in bed  
"Eren!"  
His eyes widened as he looked to Levi, they weren't in hospital like he'd thought, there was a thick chain running from the wall and connecting to the cuff on Levi's right arm  
"Levi?"  
The alpha opened his mouth, but the door to the room creaked open and Eren tried to scrambled backwards   
"Nice of you to join us. I must say, that car accident was even more spectacular than I'd planned and watching you both struggle. It almost made up for burning my house down"  
"Eren is this..?"  
"Yeah. Levi, meet my piece of shit father"  
Levi snarled and tried to yank on his chain  
"Shouldn't this be a touching family reunion? My son, his alpha and their unborn child all in the nest"  
Grisha grinned happily and Eren felt nauseous, his hands moved to his stomach in an attempt to protect their son  
"Don't worry, he's going to be just fine. It's amazing what modern medications can do these days"  
Eren glared at his father in open disgust, the man just laughed as left as he closed the door behind him.

Levi pulled him close and Eren shook  
"I had no idea... I am so sorry..."  
"No, you couldn't have known. You had no idea what he looked like and he's shaved since I last saw him"  
"I'm going to fucking tear him to shreds"  
Eren nodded against Levi   
"How did we end up here?"  
I don't know, I started feeling really tired. I woke up just before you did... they seemed so fucking normal"  
"Stop blaming yourself. We need to keep our heads down and work out what to do next together"  
"You're taking this better than I thought you would"  
"Drugs, I can't feel much of anything at the moment"  
Levi nodded  
"So we wait"  
"That's all we can do"  
Eren yawned, not feeling anything was great.


	30. Chapter 30

Levi was better at this sitting and waiting game than Eren was. He felt so tired and frustrated and Grisha kept him doped up, so he couldn't even talk properly. Levi had obeyed the man's words each time Grisha came in to check on his busted leg. The alpha would be told to stand over near where the chain connected to the wall and Eren begged Levi silently not to watch. According to Levi they'd only been there about 3 days, but to Eren it felt so much longer. Fake-Carla had come to visit once, she'd broken down and sobbed about how heartbroken she was that he'd runaway from home again, only to come back a mess. Levi had watched the woman's moves carefully, and Eren was grateful he wasn't alone, although he did wish Levi wasn't there.

At night they'd curl up close, Grisha had only left one blanket on the bed, and wind whipped through the room like there weren't any walls at all. Levi would whisper to him gently until he fell asleep in the man's arms. Usually it was classical literature, but Eren didn't mind. He'd give anything to go back to that first day of college and be normal all over again. But hindsight always was a bitch.

When Grisha finally came for him, Eren tried to cling to Levi, but his hold was too weak from the increased drugs and his father carried him easily from the room and downstairs, he tried to memorise where things were in the house, not knowing how he would tell Levi, but as it was his head was just too foggy. When Grisha sat him down at what seemed to be a dining table, Eren couldn't support himself and slumped sideways, causing the alpha to sigh deeply  
"You always have to go and make more work for me don't you"  
Confused at first by what that meant, the omega soon found himself duct taped to the table by his left hand  
"Your mother made dinner for us and she thought it'd be nice to have a family meal together"  
Under the man's ice cold glare, Eren tried to pick the fork up, but his fingers were too clumsy to grip and it just kept falling on he table under Grisha finally lost his cool. The alpha slid his chair back and Eren was torn back from the table, a small cry falling from his lips as the tape ripped at his skin   
"Your mother went to a lot of work, and this is how you repay her?!"  
"Dear, maybe he's just tired"  
Grisha looked to the woman and she promptly clammed up  
"So you can suck dick and take it up the arse, but you can't even show your mother the respect she deserves!"  
Eren tried to fumble the words out, but Grisha lifted him easily under the arms and dragged him through to the sad excuse of a living room. His father was clearly scraping the barrel here. The house looked like one strong breeze would send the whole place tumbling down, everything inside was outdated and Eren wondered if the man even owned the property. Grisha dropped him down on the sofa gracelessly and looked to the timid looking woman  
"Go see if the other one will eat"  
The woman gave a nod and Eren a sympathetic look before disappearing and leaving the two of them alone  
"This is all your fault you know. If you'd just stayed quite and did as you were told, your precious Levi would be just fine. But here he is, and guess what, I'm going to kill him and then kill you. Once that baby is born, I'll have the son I should have instead of you"  
Eren tried to struggle off the sofa, but his father grabbed his arm flipped him easily  
"Taking it up the arse is your speciality after all... did you know I had Jean convinced that baby was his. But you ruined that too, he signed custody over to me and everything"  
Eren felt his father's hands pulling down his pants and tried to resist  
"This room is right under the one you share with Levi. If you're too loud he's going to hear and then I'll just have to kill him sooner"

There was no warning when his father pushed into him and Eren's eyes went wide with shock and pain. If the man was so disgusted, then why would he even do this? It seemed to take forever for the man to finally knot. Eren shook, he could feel how torn he was and his thighs were sticky. But what hurt most of all was his son wouldn't settle down, like the tiny boy was trying to protest. Grisha said nothing, but his hand came up to ruffle Eren's hair almost affectionately and Eren tried to swallow down the bile burning his throat. Grisha would be so mad if he threw up. When the alpha finally slid out, fluids dribbled down his thighs and he whimpered in disgust   
"I'd forgotten how tight you are, and being an omega makes you so fucking wet. If I didn't hate you so much, I'd be able to make a lot of money from you"  
His father shifted away, before moving back to pull his pants up and lift him off the sofa  
"Lets put you back with that alpha. See how he likes you now"

Levi was sitting on the bed when Grisha carried him in. The woman wasn't in sight  
"Against the wall"  
Levi stood and moved, while Eren wished the alpha would never know what happened downstairs. This of course was impossible. Levi seemed to know him better than he knew himself. His father laid him out and shackled his wrist, before leaving without saying another word.

Once he was gone, Eren shook with the effort to roll onto his side, his face was just past the edge of the bed and he vomited over the side  
"Eren?"  
When Levi's hand landed on him Eren let out a sob and Levi pulled back  
"Did he do what I think he did"  
Eren didn't reply. His eyes were firmly closed and his whole body was shaking  
"I'm going to fucking kill him"  
Levi's arm came to snake around his waist and Eren whimpered from the touch  
"Shhh, I'm here"'  
He wanted to scream at Levi to leave him alone. But he could do nothing, instead laying here with silent tears rolling down his face.

Grisha repeated the same process night after night. Eren was still drugged and couldn't follow the man's instructions, at their "family" dinners, while Fake-Carla seemed to becoming more and more distant, part of him supposed that was what happened when you had a rapist for a partner and a whore for a fake son.

 

*  
Levi gently stroked his hair as Eren laid curled up against his chest. His father was yet to some see them for the day and Eren was terrified that this was it for Levi. Each time the house creaked Eren would flinch and Levi would rush to hush him, the man never seemed to run out of verses to quote and even tried to sing to him, but it did nothing to take away his fear.

When Grisha finally came, Levi kissed him deeply, it was like the alpha was trying to say goodbye and Eren could only watch as his father lead Levi from the room. Eren knew Levi was strong, but they'd been there for so long and even though Levi was in better shape than he was, Eren was still sure that Levi was being drugged. But then again, he really didn't know what he could be sure of. His father's drugs prevented him from fighting and he could only really hum replies, even when he woke in terror he couldn't tell Levi about the things he'd seen in his dreams, still the alpha seemed to know what to do and say... but that had to have taken it toll and Eren wouldn't blame Levi for hating him for all of this.

With the alpha gone, Eren laid against the pillow that Levi had used. It's stained yellow fabric was revolting and Eren could picture how much Levi wanted to clean it. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deep. But almost immediately his eyes shot open as gun shot rang out and it felt like his heart had stopped. His mind was blank and beneath him wet. Levi. Levi was gone. Grisha had done it. He wanted to scream, but no sound came out. Another 2 shots followed and Eren whimpered. Pain shot through his stomach, like his body didn't give two fucks he was drugged, he whimpered and felt the baby love, but nothing mattered if Levi was gone. All he could do was cry, he couldn't even breathe properly. It should have been him.

Beyond the door the stairs squeaked and Eren listened as the steps came closer, but Eren kept his eyes closed, even when the door opened and the footsteps came closer and closer. He felt a tugging on his chain, and then there was the sound of another shot, this one so very close it caused his ears to ring  
"Eren! Eren, we need to go"  
He didn't open his eyes, Levi was dead, what was the point? He felt something heavy pooled into his lap and then he was lifted. Grisha had obviously decided this place was no good anymore. 

He heard the stairs squeak as his father carried him downstairs, and he was placed down for a moment. He tried to move, but it just seemed like effort. His ears were still sore from the gun shot and more tears rolled down his face  
"What are you doing?!"  
He knew that voice. It was Fake-Carla and the woman sounded scared. There was a creaking and a scream, before another shot rang out and Eren felt his pants dampen further.


	31. Chapter 31

Eren was trapped in a world of pain, his body wouldn't move, he couldn't speak and his stomach hurt so fucking baby as rolling cramps moved through his back and abdomen. All he could do was keep his eyes firmly closed as he was carried from the house and then awkwardly bundled into a car that stank of cigarettes and socks  
"Eren. I need you to wait here for me. I'll be right back"  
Great, now he was hearing Levi again. Why was he so fucking useless? His mate was dead and yet here he was hallucinating the man was still alive... maybe Levi couldn't forgive him, just like his mother. He let out a small whimper, which failed to convey just how much pain he was really in.

He heard the car door open and a thud, he couldn't turn to look, but he wondered if it was the woman or Levi being thrown in the back. He doubted Grisha would bring Levi's body, no one knew where they were and there was nothing to tie the man to any of this. He whimpered sadly through the tears as he slumped forward  
"Oi Eren, you need to sit up for me"  
Eren whined as he pushed back up, it hurt, why couldn't he be left alone.

The cramping through his stomach only increased and he realised what was going on, it was too soon, there was no way their son could survive. He was going to lose both of them. He hissed through a particularly bad contraction and tried to move his hands to his stomach, God he wanted to push   
"Eren!"  
There was the sound of tyres skidding on gravel and then hands on his face  
"Eren!? What's wrong?"  
Eren whined sadly  
"I need you to work with me here, I know you're drugged, but you've been whimpering since I started driving. If you can understand me, can you mouth what's wrong"  
Again with Levi's voice, he wanted it to be his alpha so fucking badly, he tried to move his lips, he wanted his Levi to fix everything   
"Baby?"  
Eren whined, too tired to be amazed he was understood  
"Fuck"  
The car engine was cut and there was the sound of the car door opening and closing, a few seconds later he was moved from the car and he hissed in pain  
"It's alright, I'm here"  
Levi sounded so worried and yet his words were so filled with love and Eren sniffled.

*  
The teen felt his pants being pulled at, but couldn't object. He'd been moved so he was laying on his back now and the sun above was so blinding that even with his eyes closed his world was white. His legs shook as they were lifted and moved he shivered at the exposure and his fingertips curled ever so slightly   
"Eren, you need to stay calm, you're in labour"  
No fucking shit. He winced as the feeling of needing to push increased his son wanted out.

The warmth on his face was blacked out and hands grabbed his face  
"Open your eyes for me"  
Eren scrunched them closed tighter, he didn't want to open them and see Levi really wasn't there  
"Eren! We don't have time for this shit. Now open your fucking eyes!"  
The omegas eyes slowly unscrunched as he worked towards opening them. Everything was blurry and they hurt from how many tears he'd shed  
"Good, that's good"  
Gentle fingers dabbed at his eyes and wiped his face. He whined through the need to push   
"Eren, I know you're scared, but I need you to let your instincts take over. Our sons going to be born right here and I need you try and hold together just a little longer"   
When Levi's face came into view his heart broke further. The man must be so mad he failed at keeping their son safe.

Warm hands rubbed his thighs and Eren whimpered as he pushed, his body was so lethargic that he couldn't bare down properly and his heart was racing in panic. It was too soon  
"Good, your doing good. Deep breaths Eren"  
If he could talk deep fucking breaths he would, but fuck he was just too scared. And he had no idea how long he was struggling for, but he was finding it harder and harder to stay conscious. His head lolled limply to the side and he stared across the gravel, the sparse spots of grass seemed too damn green and he whine as his body kept trying to push. In his head he was trying to do the math, but he had no idea how long they'd been with Grisha, he was sure he was about 22 weeks when they were in Paradis... that was way too soon. Pain flared as the felt himself tearing further and the tears wouldn't stop  
"Come on... just a little bit more"  
He couldn't give anything more, he was at his limit. The whole seemed to go quite and he could no longer hear his racing heart. He wondered if his father would leave his body here like a piece of trash. But then again that's all he'd ever been. Something to use and throw away. He felt a burning pressure and then release, his body shook as coldness gripped every inch of him  
"Shit. Hang on"  
Eren was wracked with spasms, he felt something else sliding free from his body but it was distant. He'd done it. Their son was born and he'd failed everyone so badly. Barefeet moved past his vision and the car door opened. This was it. He closed his eyes and gave up.

*  
"Eren!"  
Someone was screaming his name, and it felt like rain was hitting his face, everything hurt, but the person kept screaming at him and his eyes slowly opened. Levi's face swam in and out focus. Why was Levi crying? He wanted to reach out and reassure the alpha, but his body wouldn't move  
"Mmm 'k"  
Levi let out a shuddering sob and the alpha gathered him up against his chest  
"Thank god... thank god..."  
Levi sobbed against him and Eren shook in his hold. He couldn't remember what had happened only being in pain and now their was an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach   
"D'n't cry"  
Levi shook his head against him  
"I thought you were dead..."  
"J'st sleepy"  
Levi nodded against him  
"We need to get you help, you won't stop bleeding and I was so scared"  
Levi lifted him and Eren's eyes rolled back from the pain, for moment . He was laid gently down on something much more comfortable than where he'd been and a small wrapped bundle was placed against his chest  
"He's breathing... he's so tiny but he's breathing... I thought you were both dead"  
The door was closed and another opened, Eren tried to focus on the tiny bundle, but he just couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's amazing what threats to an author will do...


	32. Chapter 32

Eren shifted with a hiss, he was so warm and comfortable, but didn't know why. His eyes opened slowly and he blinked at the white ceiling, he took a deep breath and the smell of antiseptic flood his senses  
"Eren?!"  
That was Levi. He wasn't dead!? Eren's heart began to race and his eyes sought out the alpha sitting on a chair beside him  
"Levi..."  
"Yeah, yeah it's me. We're safe. We're all safe"  
All? He groaned at the effort to think and watched as Levi moved to sit on the edge of the bed, the man's cool hand came to cup his cheek  
"How are you feeling?"  
"Warm... what happened?"  
Levi sighed and the alpha hung his head  
"Levi?"  
"I killed him..."  
Eren frowned in confusion  
"Who?"  
"Your father..."  
The teen was stunned. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel, but he didn't feel anything. His eyes shifted to his stomach and he began to panic  
"Shhh... hey... calm down, you're still recovering"  
"The baby?"  
Levi's eyes filled with tears  
"He's alive... they've got him on some machine... he's so tiny, but he's fighting"  
Levi released his hand and face, instead the alpha moved to wrap his arms around the omega  
"Don't ever scare me like that again"  
Eren cried against Levi's shoulder. Levi was alive. Their son was alive...  
"I'll get the doctor. You've been unconscious for the last two days"  
Eren shook his head  
"Are you really here?"  
"Yeah... I'll explain everything after the doctors been in"

Eren was already falling back to sleep when the man entered the room. His tone was soft and gentle, but Eren felt on edge the whole time. The man examined him and asked him too many questions, but all he wanted to do was see his son and fall asleep with Levi. He was too tired to care when the man wanted to examine him, and Levi stayed by his side the whole time. When the man finally left them alone, Levi climbed into bed next to him and Eren tried his best to curl into his mate  
"Talking can wait, just get some sleep"  
Eren's fingers curled into Levi's shirt and he cried himself to sleep.

*  
They'd let him sleep a few hours before waking him up again. Levi was still firmly by his side and Eren felt relatively awake. He stayed quite as the nurse hummed and made notes. She talked to Levi about something, but Eren had no idea what the pair were on about, all he wanted was to see their son and his eyes filled with fresh tears. There was an aching in his chest and he didn't know what he was supposed to do  
"Hey, no more tears, it's alright. The police want to talk to you, but they've already taken my statement"  
Eren opened his mouth and closed it, his body tensing at the idea  
"I love you"  
Eren nodded against Levi   
"What happened?"  
"Grisha... he took me out the bedroom. But he didn't realise I knew he was drugging the food he had sent up, so I wouldn't eat much of it. He thought I was drugged and got sloppy, he was laughing about how good it was going to feel to kill you after I was gone and I snapped. I don't even know how it happened. But when it was over, he was laying dead on the ground and I was covered in his blood"  
"I'm sorry"  
"You don't have anything to be sorry for. It's your father that was crazy, not you"  
"But you could have died!"  
"And I didn't. We both got out of there and the woman... I kind of shot her in the leg"  
Eren frowned against his mate  
"It's probably a good thing I didn't kill her"  
"But she..."  
"She was an undercover agent, I think they said her name was Ymir or something... but they'll explain"  
"She was a cop?"  
"Something like that. But for now you need to sleep"  
Eren shook his head  
"My chest feels weird"  
Levi pulled back a little and slipped Eren's gown down  
"Your nipples look really tender"  
Levi's fingers traced over Eren's chest and the alpha gentle pinched the omegas right one. Eren let out a whine in pain  
"I think your milks come in, and you haven't expressed, that's why you must've so sore"  
"Stop... it hurts"  
Levi pulled back and kissed Eren's forehead  
"I'll go talk to the nurse"  
Eren blushed but Levi smiled  
"It's fine, its normal and natural. Will you be alright for a moment?"

He honestly didn't want Levi to leave, and while the alpha was gone, two officers came in. Eren immediately began to panic and he tried to slide back on the bed  
"It's alright Mr Yeager, I was just wondering if you have some time to talk to us. I understand how horrific this whole situation must have been for you"  
Eren shook his head, he looked to the open door desperately   
"It's alright if you can't talk right now, we'll come back tomorrow"  
The man was clearly waiting for him to tell them it was alright and that he could talk, but he really couldn't. He couldn't even breathe and some stupid machine began to beep  
"What the fucks going on here!?"  
Eren flinched at Levi's voice, the alpha sounded so damn mad  
"Mr Ackerman, we were just telling Eren would come and speak with him tomorrow, but we seem to have scared him"  
"Of course he's fucking scared!"  
Levi rushed to his side and gathered him into his arms  
"We'll be back in the morning"  
Even with them leaving and being safe in Levi's hold, Eren still couldn't calm , he trembled in Levi's arms as the alpha rubbed his back until he finally caught a proper breath and Levi shifted him so he was nearly sitting in the alphas lap  
"Shhh... its alright, they're gone now"  
Between Eren's legs felt wet and he whimpered in disgust  
"What's wrong?"  
"I need to use the bathroom"  
Levi frowned and pulled back the blankets   
"Oh. Hold up"  
The alpha went to get off the bed, but Eren clung to him  
"Eren, your catheter came out"  
"I don't... want to be touched..."  
Levi stopped moving and let out a sigh  
"I don't know what I'm doing, I don't want to hurt you or make things worse"  
"You can hurt me... I don't care if it's you"  
Eren sniffled and tried to look Levi in the eye  
"I'm not going to hurt you, I love you brat"  
Despite having asked Levi for help, the alpha pressed the call button and Eren's face burned as the man explained what had happened. Being cleaned down by a complete stranger was humiliating. The touch was revolting and the poor woman must be disgusted from touching someone like him. Levi tried to hold his hand, but Eren was just to upset to even want the alphas touch. He didn't want the man watching, but that didn't happen. The catheter was removed and he was "gifted" the right to pee in the bathroom. As if it couldn't get any worse, the woman "reminded" him the breast pump would be brought up within the next hour. Something Levi had neglected to tell him. Everything had happened all too fast and he needed some space to process. He winced as he rolled away from Levi and buried his face in the stupidly hard pillow  
"Eren?"  
"Go away Levi"  
"Hey. Talk to me"  
"I don't want to talk, I want to sleep"  
Levi's hand landed on his side and he whimpered as he flinched  
"I'll be here. You just sleep"

 

*  
Eren's mood had only fallen further over night. He felt like a cow as he was taught how to induce lactation. He kept his eyes closed as Levi took over and though it felt so much better, it just reminded him of his tiny son. There was also the fact that's his body felt so weird and almost foreign and he didn't know what he wanted. Everything was just a mess and he curled around himself. Morning came all too soon and with that, the two officers from the day before.

Levi didn't want to leave, and even though Eren knew the alpha knew everything that had happened while they'd been with his father, he didn't want to say it all in front of Levi and asked his mate to leave. He was about to begin when a tall woman on crutches came in, she looked familiar and it took him a moment to place her. This was the woman who played at being his fake mother. She didn't introduce herself, and sat in the visitors chair beside Eren as if it was her right. Eren scratched at the inside of his wrists, he didn't know how he was supposed to do any of this and he kept staring down at his hands  
"Mr Yeager, are you ready to begin"  
Eren nodded   
"H-how... how far back do I need to go?"  
"We've been investigating this case since the car accident 4 weeks ago. Mr Ackerman's car was found by the side of the road, completely totalled. Can you remember that day?"  
Eren nodded slowly. He kept his head down as he began to explain, he didn't really remember the accident happening, it was more like a dream, but he explained what he could. After that... tears rolled down his face as he talked about how his father kept him drugged and chained to the bed and how he and Levi were kept like animals with a bucket in the corner for a toilet. His voice broke when he talked about his father raping him over and over and how the man truly believed that Carla was alive and that he wanted the baby because Eren was such a failure. By the time he'd explained hearing the gunshots and believing Levi was dead, his words were slurring from exhaustion and his was throbbing. He just wanted to sleep, but the officers had other plans.

"Mr Yeager, this is special agent Ymir, she works for the Historical Sex Crimes unit out of Trost. She's been working undercover for the last 15 months on this case"  
Eren didn't look to her, he was fucking disgusted that she could just sit there... especially when she knew what was happening  
"She's got some questions for you"  
Eren shook his head slowly  
"What happened to you was horrible, but what she wants to ask you about is a doctor by the name Rod Reiss. Eren felt like he was going to vomit. He didn't want them there anymore  
"I... can you please leave"  
"Mr Yeager..."  
"Get out!"  
Eren screamed the words, he never wanted to think about that again and how could they make him. Eren drew his knees up and sobbed into his hands   
"We'll leave you to get some rest"  
Eren didn't reply and he heard them leave.

There was a small knock on the door and Eren knew it was Levi, but he didn't want to face the man. Everything Levi had been through had been his fault and he couldn't even remember the half of what happened. The alpha crossed the room and sat on the edge of Eren's bed  
"Eren?"  
Levi's voice was cautious and Eren didn't move  
"I have some news..."  
"I don't care"  
"Even if involves a tiny baby boy"  
Eren sniffled and looked up  
"This afternoon, we can go down an visit. You'll be stuck in a wheelchair..."  
"I can really see him?"  
"Yep, we both can. We need to think of a name too"  
Eren sniffled as he nodded, they didn't even know if the boy would live. The weight of that thought had him dissolving back into tears  
"Right, move over"  
Eren didn't move and Levi awkwardly laid beside him, the alpha looked like he was about to fall off at any second   
"I saw Ymir leaving..."  
Eren shook his head  
"They didn't tell me about why she was here"  
"Don't"  
"You need to let me in"  
"Why? what's the point. You're acting like nothing's changed"  
"That's because nothing has changed. I love you and I love our son"  
"Who was born because his basket case whore mother couldn't handle everything happening"  
"No. Eren, no"  
"Why don't you just admit it! You fucking hate me! Get out! Leave me alone Levi!"  
"I'm not leaving"  
Eren tore the heart rate monitor off his finger and tried to scramble off the bed. Apparently he'd broken his leg in the accident, but his father had done a "pro job" at setting it again. Pain flared as his foot hit the floor and Levi grabbed his arm  
"You're not supposed to be walking"  
"I don't care! Let me go"  
"Eren..."  
"I'm going to the fucking bathroom! Or can't I even do that?!"  
Hobbling into the bathroom, Eren closed the door firmly behind him and limped over to sit on the toilet. He looked down at the scars along his right wrist and wished they'd split open. Grisha might be dead now, but he was so deeply embedded in Eren's head that the teen was drowning.


	33. Chapter 33

Eren stayed hidden in the bathroom until Levi finally knocked on the door. The alpha said nothing as he entered, instead he crossed and lifted the omega easily, before carrying him back to bed and tucking him in. Eren let himself fall asleep, sleeping seemed so much easier.

Being wheeled down to the NICU was terrifying, the nurses all looked at him and Eren was sure it was looks of pity. He was wheeled over to where an impossibly tiny baby laid with so many tubes and wires that tears filled his eyes. Levi spoke behind him  
"How is he?"  
"He's fighting. We're keeping an eye on his kidneys at the moment..."  
Eren let out a small sob and Levi wrapped his arm the teens shoulders   
"Shhh... he'll be alright, he's a fighter just like you are"  
"Have you two thought of a name?"  
"Eli..."  
Eren's fingers hovered near the case covering his son  
"Eli?"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"Eli Ren"  
"Eli it is"

 

*  
Eren was quite as Levi helped him dress. He'd been in hospital for the last week and hated to be leaving Eli behind. Levi had found them somewhere to stay short term as Eli would be in hospital for a few more weeks and Eren had found out they were much further north than he'd expected. They'd wound up in Marley, which wasn't even in the same state as Trost.

Ymir had returned to talk to him, but Eren just couldn't and Levi had threatened to shoot her again if she didn't get out. He was lucky she didn't take it too seriously, but the look in her eyes told him the woman wouldn't let him off a second time. Apparently there had been discrepancies in Rod Reiss's medical records and other allegations, all swept under the rug by his father and Eren was disgusted to think that others had suffered like he had.

Levi pulled up outside a small house and Eren sighed deeply. So this was home. The alpha cut the engine of the rental car and hefted a sigh of his own  
"You ready?"  
Eren nodded and unclipped his belt as Levi exited the car and moved to grab the crutches off the backseat. He still wasn't allowed to put his weight on his leg completely and Eren was sick of the stupid sticks of metal. He took them from Levi and followed the alpha towards the door  
"Apparently the keys in the metre box"  
Eren nodded and Levi disappeared off. All he wanted to do was sleep and was hoping there were two seperate rooms. He needed space and Levi's helicoptering wasn't helping. The man returned a few minutes later with the keys and let them in, an alarm started to beep and Levi moved to punch the code in. He waited for the alpha to move before moving down the hallway. His eyes landed on a nicely made bed and went straight for it   
"You going to sleep?"  
Eren nodded and sunk down on the bed with a sigh   
"I'll get you something to drink and your pills, and then you can nap all you want"  
The teen didn't want the pills. There were pills so he could eat, pills so he could sleep without waking up sleeping, antibiotics, multivitamins, antidepressants and some other pills he didn't even know why he needed them. Levi left him and Eren struggled under the blankets, it felt amazing not to be in a hospital bed anymore.

The alpha returned a few minutes later, a glass of water in his hand  
"It's just tap water"  
Eren downed the handful of pills without looking. He curled up and closed his eyes  
"I'm going to run to the shops, is there anything you want me to bring back?"  
Eren shook his head and Levi sighed softly  
"I'll lock the door and put the alarm on"  
The omega hummed and Levi left.

Levi seemed to have gotten carried away. The alpha had brought all kinds of baby things as well as clothes for both of them, food and toiletries. Even though everyone had tried to be supportive, Eren was finding it hard to be positive over Eli and things between him and Levi were tense. He couldn't help snapping at his mate and then hated himself even more. The alpha hadn't even asked if Eren wanted to share the bed, instead the man was sleeping in the room next door and Eren had the master bedroom and ensuite to himself... which probably wasn't a smart move on Levi's behalf.

The hospital had called to say Eli wasn't doing too well and Eren had fallen further apart, locking himself inside the bathroom as he sobbed in guilt, he'd stolen a knife from the kitchen while Levi hadn't been looking and he stripped off his pants. Levi would notice if he did his wrists and then the alpha would probably take Eli away. He sobbed as the blade sliced through the top of his legs. For the first time in weeks he finally felt like was in control of his life. He cut over and over until both sides were bloodied messes and he wiped the tears from his eyes, he'd probably over done it, but he felt so much better. 

He stayed locked away until after he'd showered, before looking at himself in the mirror. His stomach looked so gross and he looked so painfully thin. How could Levi love him still?

Levi was sitting on his bed when he came out and Eren tried to back, back into the bathroom  
"We need to talk, you can't keep running away"  
Eren stilled, angry that Levi could say that  
"I'm not running away"  
"So hiding in here isn't running?"  
"I'm trying to work things out"  
"Then talk to me?"  
"Talking isn't going to change anything"  
"You don't know that"  
Eren let his temper get the better of him  
"You want to talk to me about what? How Grisha raped me? Or how he watched the car accident and didn't do anything? About how you were chained up like a dog with me and then he went to put you down like one? Or how our baby might die and it's my fault?!"  
Eren was screaming by the end of it  
"Eren"  
"No! Don't touch me! I can't handle this Levi. I don't know what the fuck to do anymore and I can't do this!"  
The teens knees gave out and Levi caught him as he fell, guiding Eren so he was kneeling against the man  
"Eli is going to be fine"  
"You don't know that!"  
"No, I don't. But I have to believe because it hurt too fucking much not to"  
Levi nuzzled against Eren's neck as Eren screamed and sobbed on his shoulder   
"You aren't alone, you aren't going through this alone"  
Levi lifted him up and laid him on the bed, before laying next to him, gently brushing his hair back. Eren's body trembled as he looked into Levi's eyes   
"I know it hurts, but it's killing me to see you like this"  
"It just hurts so much"  
"I know"  
Levi snuggled against him and Eren hissed without meaning to  
"Eren?"  
The omega bit his bottom lip and Levi nodded   
"You hurt yourself again"  
"I'm sorry... I just feel so out of control"  
Levi nodded sadly  
"I thought this might happen. Just lay still while I get the first aid kit"  
Levi didn't even sound mad and Eren covered his hands with his face. He heard the alpha return and jumped when Levi tugged on the towel  
"It's alright, it's just me"  
"I'm sorry"  
"It's alright. Let's just get you cleaned up"  
Levi was gentle as he cleaned Eren's legs, Eren sniffled as Levi worked, trying to remain calm  
"I'm done"  
The alpha covered him back up and Eren curled into a ball, he'd expected Levi to leave but the alpha curled up around him  
"I love you and we'll get through this together"

 

*  
Eli was kept in the NICU for a little over a month and it was impossibly long for Eren. Levi had brought a new car, an SUV, Eren supposed a rental car probably cost as much as the car did, and the alpha had replaced his phone. He'd made phone call after phone call and even arrange proper visiting hours with Eli. They would visit on weekends and Levi would gently talk to their son, but Eren couldn't bring himself to. His birthday had came and been and Eli was just on 5 weeks when they were finally allowed to take him home. Eren couldn't bring himself to let his son go when they reached the car. Levi had to take Eli from his arms and place him in the car seat, but the omega climbed into the back of the car and his hand laid on the baby boys stomach. They'd packed up the rental that morning and Levi was going to drive straight through to Paradis and then through to Trost the following day. It'd been cleared with the police. Levi's actions had been in self defence, so both of them wanted to leave it in the past.

Eli cried for the for hour or so, and Eren was in tears himself. He didn't know to get his son to settle and felt like he was a stranger to the boy. Levi seemed to know that to do and say and Eren was already jealous of how much Eli seemed to love his father. It was like the boy knew how much of a slut he was. Levi was forced to pull over and climbed into the back with them, his face fell when he saw how upset Eren was   
"Hey, do you want to get some air? While I try and get him back to sleep..."  
Eren felt like he was being evicted from the car and climbed out awkwardly. His leg had healed for the most part, but his knee and ankle still felt stiff and he began to limp down the road in tears.   
He heard the crunch of tires behind him, but kept limping, he felt so miserable and didn't look back when Levi called his name. Finally the car stopped and Eren heard the door open. He wanted to run and cursed his leg. Levi caught his arm easily and spun him around, pulling him in for a hug   
"Hey, it's alright"  
"It's not alright..."  
Eren shook and Levi rubbed his back  
"Babies cry"  
"He doesn't for you..."  
"He probably just wanted to be held"  
Eren shook his head   
"He doesn't even know who I am... he doesn't even like me"  
Levi let out a small laugh and Eren tried to push him away  
"Of course he loves you"  
"How can he? He nearly died because of me"  
"Eren, you know that's not true"  
"It is! I don't blame him for liking you better. I see you with him... I'll never be that good"  
"Eren, we literally picked him up two hours ago. He's probably scared and confused. It's not personal. Come on, get back in the car so we can go home"  
Levi guided him back towards the car and barely had the door open when Eli started to cry. Eren tried to back away, but Levi practically shoved him inside   
"It's cold out here, he's probably cold from the door opening"  
Eren didn't reply and Levi closed the door behind him, before jogging around and climbing in the passenger side  
"Let's just get to Paradis"

Eren remained curled up on the front seat, his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out Eli's cries. Levi drove for another few hours before pulling into a rest stop and Eren looked at the alpha sadly. Levi tugged his hands down  
"I think someone might be hungry. Are you up to trying to feed him"  
Eren nodded slowly and Levi climbed from the car, before lifting Eli out of the car seat and bringing him around to Eren's side. Levi held their son as Eren stripped off his jumper and shirt, and then taking the baby with shaking arms. They had formula somewhere in the back, but the nurses at the NICU had had him feed Eli before they left this morning. His sons tiny lips took a few attempts to latch, but Eren felt so relieved when he did. Levi took him when Eli was done and gently burped the tiny boy  
"I'll change him before we leave too"  
Eren nodded, he preoccupied himself with tugging his shirt back on and Levi disappeared from view with Eli. Exhausted from everything, Eren curled up again and let himself fall asleep.

It felt like his eyes had only just closed and then Levi was shaking him awake. He blinked sleepily   
"Are we there?"  
"No, you were having a nightmare. Can you remember what it was about?"  
Eren shook his head and uncurled  
"How much longer?"  
"About an hour. This thing has so much better fuel economy than my sedan"  
Eren nodded, it didn't really matter to him. He couldn't drive anyway. He looked back to see Eli was asleep and yawned  
"Do you want to try and nap again?"  
Eren shook his head and Levi took his hand, continuing to hold it all the way until the outskirts of Paradis.  
They stayed at the same hotel as last time, the woman seemed confused to see Levi holding Eli, and Eren hung back.


	34. Chapter 34

Arriving in Trost, Eren had expected to go straight back to Levi's house, but the alpha gently reminded him that he'd left his keys with the police after Grisha had stolen their things. Eli cried the whole time that Levi was in the police station and the alpha looked pained as he returned. Eren opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but the look on Levi's face said not to and he fell silent, remaining silent all the way home.

Given they didn't have a nursery or any furniture for Eli, Eren laid their son carefully in the middle of Levi's bed. He wasn't exactly sure what he should do next, so he laid down next to Eli and watched him sleep. Levi came in about an hour after they'd gotten home, his eyes were red and Eren knew something bad had happened, he looked to Levi and Levi shook  
"What's wrong?"  
Levi toed off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, laying so he was the other side of Eli   
"Erwin's dead"  
Eren felt his heart drop. Tears formed and rushed down his face  
"I..."  
"Not now. I can't Eren. Let's just focus on Eli and what he needs"  
Eren bit his lip and nodded and Levi stared at Eren as if waiting. The omega forced his voice to stay level  
"We need a crib... you brought clothes and toys and nappies and formula and blankets... so we just need a cot right"  
Levi nodded  
"Yeah, cot, alright. We should buy one today"  
Eren nodded  
"Oh, and a baby bath..."  
Levi forced a smile for his sake   
"Yeah, that would be good"  
"We need to book his pediatrician appointment"  
"We need to find one first"  
Eren nodded  
"You should call Hanji too"  
Levi drew his brow  
"Just... you look like you need your friends. I'll stay here with Eli"  
Levi shook his head  
"Levi"  
"Just... drop it Eren"  
Levi's words stung and Eren bit back a retort. This had all been a ride and a half for the alpha, he couldn't blame Levi for being at the end of his rope. Levi climbed from the bed and left, leaving Eren to curl around Eli.

 

*  
Levi had been gone for a few hours, Eren had heard the car start shortly after the alpha had left the bedroom and the omega tried to distract himself, first feeding Eli and then changing him. He sat with his son sleeping in his arms and stared down at him.

When Levi came home, Eren heard him long before he saw him, the alpha seemed to be even worse than when he'd left and Eren flinched when Levi let out a particularly loud "Shit!". He rocked Eli carefully, hoping their son wouldn't wake up. He knew Levi wouldn't hurt them normally, but the man had just lost his best friend  
"Eren!"  
Eren jumped and Eli started to cry and Levi walked into the bedroom  
"I'll take him"  
"It's alright"  
Levi took Eli anyway, he gently bounced as he walked  
"Go have a look in the living room"  
Eren scrambled off the bed and gave Levi a wide birth as he moved to the living room. He eyed the boxes in both amazement and sadness. Levi had chosen a cot, change table and baby bath. A mattress was propped up next to the front door and Eren swallowed hard. He knew Eli needed these things, but he'd wanted to chose them with Levi. The alpha came up behind him and Eren tensed at his footsteps  
"What do you think?"  
Eren replied how he knew Levi wanted him to   
"That I can't wait to see this all set up"  
"I know. I was thinking we could use the guest bedroom for now"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"Eli's been fed. Why don't you spend some time with him and I'll do this"  
Eren indicated to the crib   
"No, I'll take care of it all. Why don't you try and get some sleep. I'll keep an eye on Eli for you"  
Eren walked back to the bedroom and into the ensuite. He closed the door and turned the shower on before he finally let himself cry. He stripped off angrily and stepped into the shower, sinking to the floor as he sobbed. Levi hadn't meant anything bad, but fuck it hurt and knowing that Erwin was dead because of him... he didn't know how to be strong. Not anymore. Levi had broken him in a way Grisha never could and he slammed his fists against the shower floor as he sobbed. When the water cooled, he climbed up from the floor and washed himself down before climbing from the shower. He went to grab the towel that Levi used to leave for him, but it wasn't there. It drove home the fact the alpha hadn't expected him back. He grabbed a towel from vanity and began to dry down. He hadn't cut in nearly 2 weeks because of Levi. But he really wanted to... but he couldn't do it right now. He rubbed his palms hard against the remaining scabs, but it did little to make him feel better. He wiped his face and wrapped the towel around himself before walking back out and into the bedroom. He cast a glance at the bed. Levi should have the bed. The omega walked to the linen cupboard and pulled out the spare blankets and headed into the walk-in-robe, sliding the door closed behind him. This way he wouldn't be in Levi's way.

He fell into an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning. Jumping and flinching at every sound and his heart was racing. Grisha was dead. He knew he should feel safe, but now he was scared of and for Levi. He eventually fell asleep, waking in panic when the walk-in-robe opened  
"Eren?"  
Eren curled up, not sure what to do now  
"What are you doing in here?"  
Eren's voice was low as he mumbled the words  
"I didn't want to be in your way"  
Levi let out a sigh  
"You're not in the way"  
"That's what it feels like"  
Levi sighed again and crawled across the blankets and sat next to him  
"I'm sorry about earlier"  
"You don't have to be sorry. It's my fault"  
"It's not your fucking fault, so stop blaming yourself. You tried to warn him"  
"But it's because he helped me!"  
"No. It's not. Come on, I've put everything together"  
Levi took his hand and lead him from his walk-in-robe. The alpha offered a small smile as he lead him into the guest bedroom. Eren's eyes widened at the white cot, Eli was already laying in it and a mobile was clicking gently as it rotated above Eli. Next to it stood the white change table  
"It's nice isn't it?"  
Eren nodded, not sure what to say. It was nice and he probably would have picked the same one himself. But he was still jealous  
"Did you take photos?"  
"Yeah. I'll put them up with the others"  
Eren hadn't wanted photos of their son online, but Levi had done it before telling him and he didn't feel like he had the right to tell him to take them down. This wasn't anything like the dream he'd had.

 

*  
Eren still felt like an outsider, he'd go to bathe Eli or change him, but Levi would take over. It seemed the only thing he could do was feed his son and he was so frustrated. He didn't know what else to do, so he'd stolen Levi's phone while the alpha was sleeping in the guest room. It'd taken him a couple of tried to get it unlocked but the pin was 0320, Eli's birth date. He scrolled Levi's contacts until he found Hanji, and messaged the woman   
Levi: I don't know if Levi told you we were back, but we'd love to have you over. This is Eren btw, so don't reply  
He sent the message and then deleted it, relocking the device and placing it back on the bedside table. Given Levi was sleeping, Eren took the opportunity to pick Eli up and take him through to the master bedroom. His son slept peacefully in his arms and Eren watched him. He felt like he'd missed so much.

It wasn't very long before there was a knock on the door and Eli began to cry. Eren held him close as he cautiously made his way to the front door and peaked outside. There was an excited looking woman and a slightly bemused looking man on the front steps and Eren remembered how excitable Levi had said Hanji was. He carefully unlocked the door and the woman gasped   
"Oh my god! You're Eren and this must be Eli!"  
Eren stepped back and the pair moved inside   
"Sorry, I'm Moblit, and she's Hanji. She tends forget her manners when she's excited"  
Eren forced a small smile  
"It's fine. And yes, I'm Eren and this is Eli"  
Eren waited until Moblit has ushered Hanji further inside before closing the door behind them. He prayed he'd done the right thing  
"Where's Levi? And can I have a hold! He's so tiny!"  
"He's a premmie"  
Hanji nodded and Eren found himself passing the tiny boy to the woman   
"Eren!? What's going on here?"  
Levi didn't sound terribly happy, and his frown said he wasn't happy to see his friends   
"Hanji, what are you doing with my son?"  
Levi moved over towards her and Hanji turned away from him  
"Eren's letting Aunty Hanji have cuddles"  
Levi looked to Eren, Eren swore his eyes narrowed and it would have been better if the alpha had slapped him rather than give him that cold look. All his anxieties surged up and slowly stepped backwards. Levi seemed to realise what he was about to do, but Moblit stepped towards Hanji and Eren took the chance, rushing to the front door and taking off. He'd just wanted Levi to back off a bit and had hoped being around his friends would help, but that look the alpha had given had told him he'd fucked up so badly. His body wasn't used to such exertion and he soon found himself gasping for breath as he half limp/jogged on. He continued until he found a small park and made his way to the swing set. It was deserted and he sank down heavily into the swings, burying his face in his hands. 

He swung slightly as he sobbed out his frustrations and hurt. He didn't know if Levi even trusted him with Eli... or maybe Levi didn't trust him at all. Yes he had a talent for getting into trouble, but that was supposed to be past them now. They were home and he hadn't expected things to go back to how they were before... but fuck... he felt his stomach tense and couldn't stop himself from vomiting. His head hung in shame as he did. He stared down at the mess he'd made as tears dropped down and into it.

"Eren!"  
The omega flinched at the sound of Levi's voice  
"Eren"  
Levi's voice was much closer now, but Eren didn't look up, finally the man's shadow fell across the ground in front of him  
"Didn't you hear me calling your name. Let's get you home"  
Levi grabbed his arm and pulled him from the swing, Eren nearly ended up stepping in his own vomit because of the alphas actions, and once free yanked his arm from the man's hold  
"Eren, come on, we need to get you back home"  
As Levi grabbed for his arm again, Eren stepped back and shook his head and Levi frowned at him  
"What's that meant to mean?"  
The words poured from Eren's lips  
"I'm not going back! What's the point! You wouldn't even notice if I was gone!"  
"What the fuck?"  
"You know its true! You don't even talk to me and every time I try to do something you take Eli away from me! All I do is feed him! You don't let me do anything else!"  
Eren's chest heaved as he stared at his bare feet  
"That's not..."  
"That's not what? You know it's true! I feel like I haven't seen him properly since we got home and you took over! I want us to be parents together but it feels like it's you and him and I'm just the convenient milk source"  
"Don't be stupid, you're blowing this out of proportion"  
Eren out a harsh laugh  
"Yeah. It's always my fault and you hate me but can't even tell me to my fucking face. He was supposed to be my son too..."  
Levi went to step forward but Eren shook his head  
"Go back home to him Levi. I'm done. You don't need me"  
Eren went to run again, but Levi grabbed him around the waist and they both fell hard. Levi moved to straddle his waist and the alpha pinned his wrists either side of his head  
"You know that's not it at all. I'm trying to make things easier for you"  
"By what? Acting like I don't exist! Acting like you can't trust me with your son?! You're always seem so happy with him"  
"He's our son"  
"No... he's really not. Now get off of me. I don't have the strength to fight anymore"  
Levi stared down at Eren and Eren looked away   
"Things aren't perfect, but I've been trying to make you happy"  
"Like picking the crib and that without me! Like posting photos of Eli online and then telling me?!"  
Eren dissolved further into tears  
"Wait... that bothered you?"  
"Of course it fucking did! I wanted to do those things together"  
"If you don't like the crib..."  
"It's not about me liking it... why can't you get it!"  
"Then what's this about?"  
Eren shook his head  
"It doesn't fucking matter. I'm done Levi"  
Eren laid there until Levi's hold finally loosened and small sniffles reached his ears. He looked to Levi and found tears running down the alphas face  
"Don't you get it? I love you. I love you and I love Eli and I just want to keep you both safe"  
"Well you've got a fucked up way of showing it"  
Eren ignored the pain that Levi in tears brought, he was too deep in his own pain. Pills and sleep didn't help. Nothing seemed to  
"What do you want me to do? What can I say to make you believe me?"  
"It's too late Levi. I'm just too broken and too tired. I had this stupid dream we could be a family, but neither of you really need me"  
"Of course we need you"  
"Levi. Stop. Think about it, other than today, when is the last time I got to hold Eli longer than just feeding him... if you can't remember that's alright because I don't remember either"  
Levi was clearly thinking and he shook his head  
"That can't be right"  
"Well it is and you post photos of Eli online, when you know my father used to stalk to me. Can you see why it makes me uncomfortable?"  
"But he's dead"  
"I know he's dead! But that doesn't mean I can just forget everything he made me feel or how fucking scared I am"  
"That's why I'm trying to keep you safe"  
"No, you're smothering me. Last night I looked at all my fucking tablets and nearly downed the lot of them. That's how convinced I am that you don't want me. You know why I didn't? Because I couldn't get the lid off the first bottle and threw it across the room"  
Levi's eyes went wider and more tears poured down his face  
"I'm not ok and neither are you. Now get off of me"  
Eren shoved Levi back easily and picked himself up off the grass. He didn't know what was left to say, but did feel better about coming clean over everything he'd bottled up. He looked across the grass and saw that Levi had driven, making his way over to the car, before climbing into the front passenger seat. It took Levi a few minutes before he followed and climbed behind the driver's wheel and the alpha drove them home silently.

Hanji was bouncing Eli gently when Eren walked through the front door, he figured he must look like shit and walked over to lift Eli from the woman's arms. Retreating to the master bedroom, he laid his son in the middle of the bed and then laid down next him. Eli had definitely put more weight on lately and his soft pink lips seemed plumper. His dark brown hair seemed to have grown also and Eren wiped his tears as he tried to smile at the baby boy.

Levi left them alone all afternoon, sometimes Eren would hear Hanji laughing and Moblit telling her to calm, but for the most part all he did was watch Eli quietly.

The room has started to grow dark when Levi finally knocked on the door  
"Hanji and Moblit want to go out for dinner, are you up for it?"  
"No. You go though"  
"Alright"  
Eren heard Levi leave and let out a shaky breath before looking back to Eli   
"It's you and me kiddo"

Leaving the reverse cycle on to warm the bedroom, Eren carried Eli through to the bathroom and prepared the boys bath. He smiled as Eli tried to wriggle in the water, his belly was definitely more chubby than he remembered and Eren washed him gently, humming as he did. He gently wrapped Eli in a soft towel and carried him back to master bedroom, closing the door behind him. The room was comfortably warm and Eren dressed Eli in a nappy before feeding the boy and climbing into bed with him, holding him close to his shoulder and smiling as he pressed kisses to his sons head. This was what he'd imagined being a parent would be like.

By the time Levi came home, Eren was laying on his back with Eli asleep on his chest, his hands rested on his sons back under the thick blankets. He whispered to his son, singing stupid nursery rhymes he could remember or silly things his mother used to tell him. It was the closest he'd ever felt to the boy. Levi knocked lightly on the door and let himself in, and Eren nodded slightly to the alphas silent question. The man crossed to the edge of the bed  
"Can I?"  
Eren nodded and Levi sat on the very edge  
"How longs he been like that?"  
"A few hours now. He's had his bath and been fed, I'm kind of waiting for him to wake up for another one soon"  
Levi nodded and opened his mouth   
"What?"  
Eren didn't mean to sound so exasperated, but he just didn't want to fight   
"Nothing... I've been thinking... you're right. I didn't even realise how shit I've been making you feel. I was just so caught up with trying not to hurt you and trying to be the perfect alpha. And when you left the house today it scared me so fucking badly that I couldn't see you. You're right, neither of us are alright and this can't go on any longer"  
Eren nodded  
"I think maybe we should see someone... I don't want things to ever be this bad again. I don't want to hear that you tried to kill yourself over me or that you don't feel like part of this family when I wouldn't even have any of this without you"  
Eren nodded slowly  
"What I want is for us to be in this together. I need you to be honest, even if it means I don't like the things you say. And I need to stop trying to deal with all this alone. I don't know if I can commit to seeing a counsellor just yet... but if you want to, then I'll do my best to support you"  
Levi nodded as Eli yawned and drool dripped onto Eren's chest  
"Someone's awake"  
"Do you want me to take him while you sit up?"  
Eren nodded, trying to show Levi he was prepared to try and take that first step. Levi lifted Eli gently and Eren slid up, the alpha soon passed him back and Eren offered his son his nipple, not surprised when the boy latched. Levi watched on and Eren felt slightly self conscious   
"Can you get him a onesie please"  
Levi nodded and left the room while Eren watched Eli feed. 

 

** 3 months later**  
Eren was sitting in the clinics reception while Levi was in seeing his counsellor, his foot hooked on the bar of the pram as he rolled it lightly back and forth while reading. They'd fought like cats and dogs for the first month after that night. Eren sometimes had trouble trying to voice what he wanted to say and Levi still had issues with letting him or Eli from his sight. This was Levi's 5th visit to the small clinic and Eren had come each time so far. He was fucking terrified, but having Eli there settled his nerves and Levi seemed to appreciate seeing they were both alright. Eren looked down at Eli, the boys eyes were open, a beautiful shade of grey green he didn't really think was possible. Eli was doing really well, other than one trip to hospital over his kidneys, but the medication they'd administered had helped and he'd only had to stay two nights.

The door down the hall opened and Eren closed his book  
"That's daddy"  
He wasn't sure if his son could hear him, or if he was just ignoring him, but the nursing staff had said babies didn't always respond to sounds the way adults did. It didn't really help settle Eren's nerves, but he couldn't love Eli any less and it wasn't like being deaf was anything to be ashamed of.

Eren stood and slipped the book into the nappy bag and Levi pulled him into a hug  
"He's still sleeping?"  
"Yeah, whole time you were in there. How'd it go?"  
"We'll talk about it on the way back"  
Levi pressed a kiss to Eren's cheek as Eren nodded and let Levi go first. He was pretty proud of his pram skills, not that he was bragging.

With everything that had happened, Levi had officially lost his job, not that the man seemed too sad, after talking about it all Levi had decided to take Erwin's old position at Sina. Eren didn't want his mate taking it out of guilt, but Levi assured him it wasn't and when the new school year started Levi would officially begin. Eren was enrolled in his class and Levi had already said that Eli would be coming with them. He joked that he'd use "hold the crying baby" for punishment when people zoned out.

The other thing that had happened was Eren inherited the money his mother had left him. Levi had helped him with all the forms and Grisha's assets were frozen while the investigation into Rod Reiss continued. Eren refused to testify and Levi had assured him that was fine. They had enough to put the man behind bars for the rest of his life.

Eren smiled as Levi linked their arms outside the clinic. The day was crisp and sunny and the warmth felt so good   
"So... how'd it go?"  
"She wants me to try coming alone next time"  
Eren nodded, he knew they were working towards that  
"That's great, there's a park around here so Eli and I can just hang out there"  
"That's what I was hoping you'd say"  
Eren elbowed Levi lightly and Levi stopped walking   
"What?"  
The omega turned to Levi and found a kiss being pushed to his lips  
"I was just thinking how much I love you"  
Eren's face reddened slightly   
"I found them you know..."  
Eren frowned in confusion   
"We need to work on your English"  
Levi began to walk again and so did Eren   
"I mean those forms we filled out in Paradis. They were in the stuff from the car accident. I found them a while ago, but didn't think the time was right to ask if you'd submit them with me"  
This time Eren stopped  
"I thought they were gone"  
"No, I've got both copies of your birth certificate too"  
Eren nodded slowly  
"So, you think the times right?"  
"I think things have been getting better... unless I'm missing everything again"  
"No... I think they have been too. But before we submit them, I want you to promise me something"  
Levi seemed almost nervous as he nodded  
"I want to have more children"  
"Ok"  
"And I want you to understand I sometimes need space"  
"I know"  
"And even when I do, I still love you"  
"I know that too... so what am I supposed to be promising you?"  
"That you won't give up on me, even when I have"  
Levi smiled and leant in, his free arm coming up to pull Eren close and his alpha kissed him deeply   
"I promise"


End file.
